Condemned in His Presence

The devil sure is brave. He is not scared to come right into the midst of where God is moving to distract and discourage.  I suppose he has great success or he wouldn't waste his time there. I think that at church, we often let our guard down and become vulnerable before God and the devil wants to take advantage of that moment.

Sunday morning as I was sitting at the piano, God's presence was so strong. I was near a young man that God was speaking to and I could literally feel the presence of God radiating from him.

And just like that the devil started whispering lies to me. "Your kids will never be like that. Too bad." At first, I started to let myself feel defeated, but as quick as he spoke I recognized his tactics and moved my focus back on to how great God is and the devil and those feelings left. I actually started singing, "you're all I need. Jesus, your all I need" and I was right back in the thick of God's presence and purpose for that moment.

How many times have we let the devil get in our head even as God is speaking and moving? We let him distract. We let him discourage. Any time spent dwelling on the lies he speaks to us is too much.

I wonder how many times the devil puts thoughts in our minds at church and we mistake the sly ways of the devil for God speaking. We confuse condemnation with conviction. We don't have to put up with His lies. We don't have to accept them. We don't have to hear them.

We have got to have a plan for when he tries to throw a wrench in God's plan. My plan is to 1-not give his lies a moment in my thoughts and 2-always go back to what God has said, because God's words are truth and never change.

Music Memory UIL

Over the weekend, Katelynn competed in music memory UIL. I had never heard of such a thing. She came home and wanted to participate, so since she is doing well in school, I gave her permission.

Saturday morning, we got up and took the long 3 minute drive to Timberview. Her event was at 8:30 so we left the house at 8 to give us time to figure out where we needed to be.

She didn't place, but I think she enjoyed it and will be better prepared for next year or in case she gets asked to participate again.

After their group went back to the competition rooms (we weren't able to watch), I got the chance to meet and talk to one of her friend's moms. This happens to be the little girl who has been in class with Katelynn since kindergarten and lives in our neighborhood, 2 blocks over.

I hear about Macayla all the time! Apparently, Misty hears about Katelynn all the time as well.

I'm ashamed to say that this is the first parent I've met. I have every intention of meeting more parents so I feel safe letting them go to other kids houses, but it just doesn't happen. (Do I need to remind you that I have 5 kids?) I never really had friends from school that I did things with outside of school. My free time was usually spent with the church kids. But my kids don't even have kids at church to pick from really, so its nice for Katelynn to have a friend in our neighborhood!

I'm Proud of You!

A few weeks back I visited with an friend I've known my whole life who I hadn't seen in a while. When we were saying goodbye he left me with this, "If I haven't told you, I'm proud of you."

It struck me kind of funny. Why would you leave someone with this thought? Not that it's bad or negative, but just different.

My reflection has led me to wonder what I have done that is worthy of that thought. Is it the kids and adoption? Or the fact I've stayed close to God and not strayed away?

Maybe from the outside looking in, I appear to have done something big or difficult in my life. Something that has led me to the place I find myself.

I've just done the only thing I could do in every situation. I've done what I thought was best and tried to depend on God.  (With many mistakes along the way).

But whatever was to my gain, I consider loss.  I consider everything loss compared to the greatness of knowing him, for whose sake I have lost all things.

Proud Mama

Every day I realize a little more that my babies are growing up. And although everything we try to teach them doesn't always show, every once in a while something sticks with them.

Today I want to brag on Haley. Last Sunday we had a young lady at church who shared about her upcoming mission trip to Asia. Pastor felt led to get pledges during service toward her trip cost. We have always been big on giving as God has spoken to us, but never to make a big deal about it or get noticed.

While this was going on Haley got my attention and wanted to pledge $40 of her allowance money toward the trip. She was too shy to speak up, so I did it for her. My kids are generally very compassionate and want to be helpful, so I thought maybe she had decided to use her money because she wanted to be helpful. (That is a good thing too.) But after church she told me God told her to give and she needs to obey. I love that my kids are learning to hear God. I'm so proud of her!

One of the benefits of their hard start is that they aren't shy or intimidated to do what they think is right. Yes, there are downfalls to that, but it also means that as they serve God they won't be scared to stand up for him.

And while we are on Haley, I wanted to report that she is passing all of her classes. That girl can do anything she puts her mind to. Love her so much!

On the growing front, I officially concede that she is taller than me. I think she still tries to put her head on my shoulder when she gives me a hug so it feels funny with her bending down to hug me. I had to go buy junior size pants and jeans so they would be long enough for her legs. She's only 12!And if I do say so myself, she is such a pretty girl.

Heavenly Hymns

Blessed Savior, thou will guide us
'Til we reach that blissful shore
Where the angels wait to join us
In thy praise forever more.

We used to sing hymns at church every week until our song leader started getting sick. Bro. Buddy has since stopped coming and I really am starting to miss those hymns.  I often find myself singing old hymns in my car on the way to and from work.

Today, I was singing the chorus above (which I had no idea was from Life's Railway to Heaven until I googled not to make sure I was singing it correctly). Just had heaven on my mind a lot lately.

A couple things spoke to me:

God is guiding us every day until we get to heaven. A guide is someone who shows you the way to go, leads you, going ahead of you through the same path to follow. But a guide doesn't force you to follow him. You get to choose whether you will follow the path shown to you or go your own way.  How many times have I forged ahead of my guide, doing what I thought was best, only to learn I was just making my journey more difficult? And how frustrated am I with my own children when I try to guide them and they don't want to follow?

I'm so grateful God is patient with me as I arrogantly lead myself instead of letting him be my guide!

The angels in heaven are waiting to join us in praise to our Savior. We aren't joining them, they are joining us. Because Jesus isn't their Savior. They don't need saving. They aren't whose worship God is waiting for, longing for. But our worship is special to God. Coming from a heart of gratitude and appreciation for His sacrifice. From a heart of love. A place of sincere thanks.

We miss a lot when we ignore hymns. Don't get me wrong, hymns aren't scripture, but there are definitely some truths that we can only see if we go back and look.

Ambition

If there is one thing I have learned in my many years (okay, only 4.5) of parenting it is this: You can't teach ambition.

You can try and convince your kids of the benefits of being motivated and driven to do their best. Of how awesome it feels to work hard at something and accomplish it. Of how much less stressed life is when you finish what needs to be done before wasting time or even BEFORE it is required (gasp).

And you can't convince others to do things with excellence just because it feels good. And you can't punish them into it either. (Groan...)

But every once in a while, out of the blue (and probably because God is smiling down on you in that moment) a child decides, on their own, to reach for the stars and actually work towards meeting their goals.

This time it was Daniel. This morning he decided he needed to study. Not because he has a test coming or didn't understand something his teacher went over in class. But just because he wants to do better. His goal is straight As. He pulled out his workbook that I bought them for this past summer so he could work on whatever after he finished his homework. I talked to him about dividing his goal into smaller more attainable steps so he could feel accomplished and not get disappointed and quit if it was taking too long and he still didn't have straight As. I think he's good with that. Hopefully he can keep his attitude in a good place and his motivation up!

And even if this is short lived, I know that he can come back to this place if he chooses.  And when I'm frustrated, I want to remember this day. As proof that God can give ambition and motivation because I most certainly can't force it into them.

4 Months and 5 Months

The last month has been sort of a whirl wind, so I haven't gotten a chance to post Julia's monthly update.  Well, that and the fact that her appointment wasn't until the second week of January and I wanted to have her stats to post.

At her 4 month check up, Julia weighed 13 pounds 14 ounces and was 24 inches long and her head was 15.55 inches around. For comparison sake, this puts her percentiles at 43%, 26% and 7%, respectively. Seth was always so tiny with a huge head and it looks like Julia is going to be pretty average with a smaller than average head. It's so funny how different two kids can be. I kid that by the time she is 18 months old or so, she will be the same size as Seth. He is currently in a size 2T pant (for the height since he has to have adjustable waste almost fully adjusted) and weighs only 27 pounds. He is THREE!  But they are both healthy, so no complaints here. It's just fun to compare.

At 4 months she started smiling and cooing more. She also set a pretty good schedule of two naps and enjoyed more awake time during the day. I just love her chunky legs and arms and sweet little face. She has enjoyed her Bumbo and being able to sit up some. She also was drooling a lot. I suppose she'll get start getting teeth soon. Seth didn't have teeth until about 9 months. I am not looking forward to getting bit by her when she is nursing.  Ouch!

She still sleeps through the night mostly (wakes up usually about 4:30 or 5 after eating being woke up to eat at about 10 each night).

At her 4 month appointment they told us we could start feeding her food, one veggie at a time and then one fruit at a time until we make it through everything, giving her the ability to taste and us to determine what she likes and doesn't like.

 So far she has had cereal, green beans, squash, and carrots. There isn't anything she doesn't like, which is so different from her brother. Goodness, he still is a picky eater!

When we sit down to eat dinner, she watches intently and wants to try everything we are eating. She is also very interested in the shiny cans of soda. I remember Seth wanting a drink from my can often.

 Her vocabulary has just exploded. No, we can't understand what she is saying, but she sure does make a lot of noises. From squeals to just general babble. She is just so much fun. Often times Seth will talk to her and then she will respond in babble and he will interpret. "Mom, she said she loves you." or "Mom, she said she wants more."

She is in size 3-6 months and is still pretty much true to her age as far as size goes. I have stopped myself from buying so many dresses so that she is getting to wear some of them more than once. It's so hard to resist, especially since I buy them secondhand and spend very little on them.

We are having a couple of days of spring weather, so I busted out her spring outfits while they still fit her and the weather is cooperating.

Her evening fussy time has generally stopped, although last week at church when I was working late, I was told she fussed the whole time. I think she was just missing mommy since she hadn't seen me since 7:30 that morning.

She only fusses if she is hungry, tired or dirty. I'm glad she is generally happy. I thought Seth was an easy baby, but she has definitely proved that the second time (at least for me) is easier. I'm not sure if its because I'm more chilled or because I know what I'm doing or just her temperament.

We are so blessed that God decided to give us Miss Julia Renee. We love you sweetheart!