Provider

I very rarely talk about finances and especially not on this blog. It's just kind of a private thing people either don't talk about because they aren't good with money or they are and feel guilty about it because other people around them are having a hard time. We fall in the latter category mostly (depending on what group of friends we are around).

We have just always been faithful tithers and have been able to have extra money to give to others as God leads or we are able.

When we started planning to expand our family, I immediately started looking at how much it would cost to have Julia. Not living cost, but just her actual delivery and hospital stay. We have a high deductible health insurance plan and our family deductible is $5,000 before they cover 80%. Shortly before we were pregnant, we found out that our insurance was dropping the only hospital my doctor delivers at, so we decided to self pay (which is cheaper than running through insurance with a $15,000 out of network deductible). So we got pregnant knowing we would be using savings to pay for the baby. Praise God we had savings to cover it all!

Long story short, we have paid about $7,000 (doctor, hospital, etc) so far not including the epidural. We got the bill for $3800 for the epidural without insurance. Most of the doctors/services have been on our insurance, but not the hospital itself. I called to provide insurance info and should get another bill in 45 days. Yes, we have the money to cover the costs, but I don't want to deplete our savings, and it makes me nervous! I have been praying (kinda secretively) that God would just keep giving us favor and taking care of us and that I wouldn't worry about it. I won't get another pay check until November 9th, so our savings, the short term disability payment received, and Bjs checks have to be enough to cover us in the mean time.

Today I went to my doctor for my 6 week check up. I paid him $2,200 in May for the delivery and haven't really thought about it since then. I intentionally spread out the payments, knowing I wouldn't have normal income after the birth. This is about what I paid him to deliver Seth a few years back. Before I left, he told me they owed me some money because of something with the insurance and more being applied to my deductible . I was thinking some small amount like $100. The check was for almost $2,000!

Right there in the doctors office I found myself saying "Praise God!"

Sometimes I wonder if God will help me when my need isn't as big as someone else's. Not as dire or necessary. After all, we do have money to cover all these expenses, so we don't NEED his provision as much as someone living paycheck to paycheck. And yet, I know better than to doubt him. As we are faithful, he will continue to be faithful to us!

I'm so thankful for how God takes care of his own!

When God Gives Me What I Want

God made me with a Type A personality. Very organized. Planned. Not spontaneous at all.  So over the years, there have been many times when God has had to mess me up and teach me to trust him and that his ways are better than my plans. God has given me many surprises that have rocked me to my very core.

Surprise! You can't get pregnant when you want to and have babies when you plan them to be born!

Surprise! You are going to adopt!

Surprise! You are going to adopt 3 kids at once!

Surprise! Now you are going to be pregnant!

Surprise! Now your daughter has a learning disability!

Surprise! Now your son can't sit still and has anxiety issues!

Surprise! Now you aren't going to have a natural birth with no medications like your mom and sister!

Surprise! Now your daughter isn't going to try her best because she thinks she's stupid!

So when things actually kinda go the way I would like or according to my personality, I am almost more surprised than when they don't. Take my labor and deliveries. Both of them were/will be inductions (unless she just can't wait another 7 hours). Now, that isn't what my initial goal was with Seth, but looking back, I am really glad I was induced with him. It let me plan who was watching my kids when. It took the surprise or guessing out of the "am I in labor or not?" questions all moms have or the last minute shifting of kids to grandparents so we can get to the hospital in time.  All of these things made it a very good birth experience for me.

And this time, I know more what to expect since I've been through this before with the same doctor at the same hospital. I like being able to mentally plan. It makes me less stressed. I am totally aware that it won't be exactly like last time, but I'm also not worried about it.

I expect her to be here by lunch tomorrow and I want to stay only one night and come home on Friday.

So today I am grateful that God has allowed somethings in my life to stay organized and planned and that every once in a while he chooses to agree with me and my great ideas!

The Things You Forget

I don't forget many things. Especially if it is important to me. I kind of pride myself in remembering details about others. It's part of the way I show others that I care. (And that was not at all where I was going with this blog.)

I am amazed at the things about my delivery of Seth that I don't remember. I mean that is why people decide to have more kids after all. I know that it was not traumatic and I remember many details, just not all of them. So even though I've done this before, I feel like there is still a lot that is unknown at this point.

I do know that I am not nervous about the induction and I'm not adamantly against an epidural like I tried to be last time. Been there, done that, overall a good experience for me.

I'm a little more nervous about how Julia is doing, mainly because Dr W is concerned she is small. Seth was small, so I should be used to that and yet it makes me a little nervous. It helps me a little that she keeps moving and we have heard a strong heartbeat from the very beginning.

I think the realist in me won't let me assume it will all go like last time. Praying everything will go smoothly, though. When I look back, I realize there were some hiccups in Seth's delivery that I was too naive to be worried about in the moment. I'm praying for a little of that again. I want to enjoy this experience as much as the first one without unnecessary worrying.

I do plan to take better notes throughout the process to help me remember more what happened and when. I think the timeline of Seth's delivery day is what I don't remember the most, so I plan to change that this time.

It's hard to believe that we are less than a week away from Julia's birth.

I plan to update facebook and/or the blog from the hospital, so stay tuned for the next adventure in our lives. Don't know if I'll blog again before then. Depends on how my next week goes.

Baby Days - 37w6d

I know I haven't posted in a while and honestly, I feel like I haven't had a chance to breathe, let alone blog about it. Life is busy getting ready for Julia. I only have a few more things to handle before I can be ready mentally:

Missionette promotion is on Sunday and I'm in charge. I was asked what the back up plan is and there isn't one. I have about 5 things left to do for that and I've passed off the reception preparation to my mom.

I have about 3 more project for work to finish. I keep thinking the main tedious task is almost over and then I find another snake to squash. 

Need to pack my bags for the hospital and get the car seat base installed.

Went to the doctor today and we have moved the induction date up to next Thursday August 27th. He had a few more important inductions moved to the date I wanted so here we are. 6 more working days, 8 more days until she is here. I have to call on Thursday to figure out when we have to be at the hospital a week after that. Dr. W expects it to be first thing in the morning, like last time. 

Just like last time, he thinks she's gonna be smaller than Seth maybe, but admitted he could be off a pound either way. I really wanted a regular size baby, but healthy is good either way. I don't plan to stay at the hospital more than one night, but we'll see. I just know that last time, the sooner I got out of that bed, the quicker I healed.

Total weight gain is 18 pounds. Y'all, I have no more doctors visits. This is getting real. Real crazy!

Symptoms this last month include feeling huge, started waddling, hips hurting, hard to breathe and sing, off and on nausea and feeling over full. Tired a lot, just generally feeling done!

Party of 7 coming right up!

33W6D

How Far Along: 33 Weeks 6 Days
Size of the Baby: About 18 inches long, and 4 3/4 lbs, the size of a cantaloupe.
Total Weight Gain/Loss:14 pounds gained total, but I feel like a whale. Dr W is so proud of me. He says he wishes all of his patients would gain so little. It'd make his job easier. The thing is, Julia will gain her weight, and normal hormonal cravings, without going crazy, will take care of the extra calories baby needs. I looked back at my posts with Seth and the last time I updated (I think like a week before he was born) I had gained 19 pounds, so I guess I'm on goal to do about the same.
Maternity Clothes: Yes. I am so ready for normal clothes. I refuse to buy anything else for the remaining 6 weeks or less, so I just have to make do with what I have. I am feeling really huge and some of my blouse shirts that are not stretchy are getting really tight about my belly.
Gender:Girl~ Julia Renee.
Movement: All the time.She moves more in the evening than the morning, but I think maybe I'm just still enough to notice her moving more. My life as wife and mom to 4 kids doesn't slow down for anything or anyone, so yeah, I'm pretty busy.
What I Miss Most: Getting up and down with ease, flexibility, sleeping on my belly.
Cravings: None really. Been pretty careful with my eating and feeling overfull has helped.
Symptoms: sore breasts, tiredness, feeling tight in my stomach, shortness of breath, getting sore from being in one position too long, just feeling pregnant.
Best Moment of the week: Compliments from Dr W about my weight and feeling like I can eat whatever I want (because I'm eating so little at a time) and not worry about gaining weight. Also, I have one more 2 week appointment and then we go to once a week. Next appointment I have my Group B Strep test and I'll start getting checked for cervix dilation and effacement. This pregnancy is soon coming to an end.

Between now and the next appointment, I have two baby showers scheduled. I'm excited to see friends I don't see so often. It's really not about the gifts for me, although I am very appreciative of them and I do love to see girlie clothes since I'm not used to that. I just like getting together with old friends.

Speaking of old friends (not friends that are old, friends I've known for a while) one of my friends from my high school years is coming to see me in about 4 weeks from Virginia. She was one of my youth pastors and we have just staying in touch over the years. I'm excited to see her and catch up.

There is a lot to do in the next 6 weeks, some for Julia, some for the Missionettes (girls group at church I'm in charge of),  some to get the kids ready for school, and some for football (which Daniel starts next week and we are basically done with). That doesn't even count getting things wrapped up at work so I can be off with Julia. But I'm trying to just take it one day at a time and get done what i can when I can. It will all get done, it always does, and if it doesn't we make do.

29W6D

How Far Along: 29 Weeks 6 Days
Size of the Baby: About 15.5 inches long, and 3lbs, the size of a small cabbage.
Total Weight Gain/Loss:13 pounds gained total, but I feel like a whale
Maternity Clothes: Yes. On occasion I can wear a non-maternity top if it's a less fitted style, but pants are limited to either maternity or loose like lounge/pajama pants.
Gender:GIRL~ Julia Renee. Excited to have a baby girl coming.
Movement: All the time. She is quite a mover and shaker. It's hard to compare to Seth because he was so low and at the time I had nothing to compare his movement to. BJ and Daniel have both seen or felt her move. Dr. W says she is already head down, feet on my left side and bottom on the right. This would explain why when I feel her move on the right it is more like shifting than kicking.
What I Miss Most: My clothes and not feeling so full all the time Also, I miss being able to go without getting short winded or using more effort. I am usually in pretty good shape, but right now I am so easily worn out. It is definitely worse than with Seth, but I'm older, and I'm chasing a toddler. To me it is a huge difference.
Cravings:Salty more than sweet. Wish I could eat without feeling so full.
Symptoms: Feeling like a whale, like there is no possible way she can stay in there another 10 weeks.
Best Moment of the week: Just the movement. Even though it hurts some, it reminds me that there is a purpose for all the discomfort. Oh, yeah! And getting compliments about pregnancy looking good on me. Ya'll better look while you can, cause this ain't happening again.

I will be traveling via plane to Kansas City MO for a funeral this weekend by myself. I'm a little nervous about traveling at this point in my pregnancy, but Dr. W said the risks are pretty low of anything happening at this point. The real risk is complications while I'm away from my doctor, but I just trust God to take care of Julia and me.

Looks like I'll be leading worship on Sunday since my parents are driving back from Missouri that day. It'll be good. We'll survive. God will bless. He is faithful like that.

Life

It's been a while since I've blogged. This last month has just been crazy including end of school awards, a business trip to San Antonio and now the Big Kids are at camp.  I thought I'd get time to blog last week while I was out of town, but that was obviously not the case.

Let's start with baby news. Yesterday I had my third (and hopefully final) sonogram for Julia. There will only be another sonogram if there is a reason to have one.

The first two (to the left) are Julia at 29 weeks and the last two are Seth at 38 weeks.I think the faces look kinda similar, but it's hard to tell since they are 9 weeks apart. Julia has a little bit of hair/fuzz where as Seth had a little dark hair when he was born that has since been replaced with blonde. As far as size goes, the technician said she was measuring a week bigger than expected, but suspected a recent growth spurt. She estimated Julia is already 3.5 pounds or so and noted her long legs. I expect we will have a normal size baby (as opposed to Seth who was so small. He still can wear 18 month pants if they are long enough and he is 2.5). Of course, all of that is a guess and we really won't know until she gets here. I have bought 2 outfits (both 0-3 months) and don't plan on buying any newborn or premie clothes unless the doctors starts seeing her lag behind in size and turn into a small baby like Seth. My sister gave me a bunch of little girl clothes, which include probably enough newborn to get by if needed.

Each pregnancy is so different. I feel like my skin is so tight around my belly and there is no room for her to grow, but I know she still has 11 weeks and will get bigger. Just not sure how she will fit. :) Tuesday I have a doctor's appointment where Dr. W will talk about the sonogram and do the normal measuring, listen to the heartbeat stuff before we go to appointments every 2 weeks after that. I feel like the end of August will be here before we know it. And I am so not ready. She would be fine, I just feel like I have a lot of planning to do at work to get things to a good place before I can be off for maternity leave. And then I remember I do still have probably at least 10 weeks which is 2 whole months. I just wish I didn't have so many projects on hold. One day at a time, cleaning out my office and email inbox so I can be gone and getting things done before then.

It'll all work out. It always does.

Regarding just general baby preparation, I got down Seth's carseat, cleaned it up and put the new girlie cover on it, so we are ready to go with that.

I plan to buy her diaper bag today. I have registered for some things at Babies R Us (just online) but need to get that finished up. A lot of big things I already have from Seth.

The big kids are at church camp for the first time. Daniel acted like he didn't want to go, which is normal for him, but I was told that he was really excited once he got there. This morning I got a text message from Katelynn that said "I love you, mommy." Such a sweet girl! They'll be home tomorrow and I'm excited to hear about their time at camp. My kids are just made for camp. They are so social and in general not scared to do anything new, so I'm sure they'll really enjoy it. I'm praying for God to do something special in each of them during this time.

Seth has been an only child since Wednesday afternoon. The kids were worried he would be a handful by himself since they play with him so much and wouldn't be here. I told them he's only wild when they are here and it'd be fine. He slept 12 hours last night and I got to sleep in until 8. It was so nice.

Today we are off to do some shopping and then just hang out mostly. Should be a nice relaxing day.

Tonight BJ and I are watching American Sniper via Redbox. My sister and her family are coming in town tomorrow for my mom's birthday, so we'll be having dinner with them after the kids get back from camp. Then we have one week of "normal" and we are off toward Houston for vacation.

I plan to blog again next week after my doctor's appointment and then maybe some while on vacation.

The fall is setting up to be pretty busy for our family of 7. Daniel will be playing football for the first time. Haley will be learning to play the clarinet in the school band. Katelynn will be the only Fowler in the elementary school and learning to find her place without being "Haley's sister" or "Daniel's sister."  There will definitely be some growing up going on with the big kids (who Seth calls "the kids") I will be at home with the Littles after Julia is born for a while. I'm actually excited to see how everything pans out and how the Bigs adapt and mature! It will be a fun time at our house!

25W6D

How Far Along: 25 Weeks 6 Days
Size of the Baby: About 14 inches long, and 1 2/3 lbs, the size of a scallion.
Total Weight Gain/Loss: 9 pounds gained total
Maternity Clothes: Yes. On occasion I can wear a non-maternity top if it's a less fitted style, but pants are limited to either maternity or loose like lounge/pajama pants.
Gender:GIRL~ Julia Renee.Excited to have a baby girl coming. This week I got all the clothes out that my sister loaned/gave us for newborn through 3 months, and I feel like if I had to be, I could be pretty much set. I am sure she will get other things, even if just from the grandparents (especially BJ's mom) but I really think she'd be okay without that.
Movement: All the time. She is quite a mover and shaker. It's hard to compare to Seth because he was so low and at the time I had nothing to compare his movement to. Either way feeling her move is a reminder of God's goodness and that we will meet her in about  months.
What I Miss Most: My clothes. I have quite a variety when I'm not pregnant, but am more limited in my maternity clothes section. Also, I miss being able to go without getting short winded or using more effort. Oh, yeah and crossing my legs. I do this without thinking all the time and then realize I can't really do that comfortably for very long.
Cravings: None really. I can eat whatever I want (except for the fact that someone is monitoring my weight, which makes me more aware not to overeat).
Symptoms: Tired, full faster, shortness of breath (especially when singing), just feeling big in general.
Best Moment of the week: Planning out the next month. I love seeing progress! I have another sonogram in 3 weeks, OB appointment in 4 weeks and then I start seeing him every 2 weeks. Only 14 more weeks to go. We are almost in the third trimester. Wohoo!

Today at Seth's doctor's appointment, I got my first "are you expecting?" from a stranger. Because I'm pretty small everywhere except my belly, I think it's pretty obvious that I'm pregnant and not just putting on weight.

I'm not sure that I will get around to blogging again, so let me quickly say that I am preaching on Sunday, so your prayers are appreciated. After I struggled most of the week to get it all together, this morning God started giving me some order and tieing up some loose ends so to speak. I am so excited to see what he does on Sunday!

21W5D

Julia 22 Weeks

Seth 22 Weeks

How Far Along: 21 Weeks 5 Days
Size of the Baby: About 10 1/2 inches long, the size of a carrot.
Total Weight Gain/Loss: 8 pound gained.This means I had a 6 pound month. Dr W. warned me we didn't need big weight gains like that each time, but since I was only up to 8 pounds total, he gave me a pass. I've been saying I thought I weighed more, so now that his scale shows that as well, I don't think I'll have to worry about the upcoming scolding. I am just hoping that if I nurse Julia as long as I did Seth, then the weight will come right off like it did last time. I came home from the hospital and put my regular jeans on. For some reason, I have feared gaining weight as an adult because I really don't want to have to be disciplined enough to lose the weight. So, I guess this is God's way of telling me to chill out and enjoy this time. I am so not naturally good at that.
Maternity Clothes: Yes. On occasion I can wear a non-maternity top if it's a less fitted style, but pants are limited to either maternity or loose like lounge/pajama pants.
Gender:GIRL~ Julia Renee. I am so blessed God has given me the desires of my heart. A while back I wrote in my journal "When I thought my influence and impact was small, you provided abundance of capacity and filled my life with lives to direct and mold according to your ways. May I never forget the emptiness that was and the fullness that is." So God has blessed me with 5 wonderful kids, girl boy order from oldest to youngest. I love it when I see God's plan come together and he gives me just what I want. I am well aware, that God doesn't always give us what we want, but sometimes, he does, and I am grateful for that.
Movement: About 2 weeks ago I started feeling our sweetheart move at least once a day. It reminds me more of when Seth would move (like roll or switch positions) more than just a subtle kick or movement. Obviously not as strong as in the end of my last pregnancy, but that's still what I think I'm feeling. No one else has felt it yet, but that took a while last time too.
What I Miss Most: Really feeling pretty good right now. Not too many things are different than my normal life. Eat whatever I want, but get full quickly. Falling to sleep pretty easily with the help of my body pillow.
Cravings:None. Ice cream like shakes or frostys sound good, but I don't get them more than once a week. I can eat pretty much whatever I want
Symptoms: Weird dreams. I don't remember this from before. Not really anything tragic or dramatic, but just weird. Like last night I dreamt we had to do something with a cabbage and hershey's chocolate bar before whoever would let us go to sleep. I guess we were being held hostage (not sure who the we is because I don't think it was BJ). Odd.
Best Moment of the week: Feeling our sweet girl move, hearing the heart beat. I'm actually looking forward to the gestational diabetes test in a few weeks. Every thing is another step closer to her being here. I'm really looking forward to having a baby girl.

On a totally different note, I believe I told you a while back that Seth picked up his Paci again over Christmas break and I just haven't had the strength, determination, to make him sleep without it. I've only given it to him to sleep, but no one else has given it to him at all. (Yes, prego mommy is too tired to be hard right now). My mom mentioned she thought about leaving the paci at her house last week so he wouldn't have it (and I couldn't give into him) but she didn't. I mentioned that to Mom Fowler today and then this evening I couldn't find it when it was time to sleep. (Not sure that she took it, but maybe she did) Seth looked for it with me and when we couldn't find it, I asked him if he thought he could be a big boy and go to sleep with out it. His response was "I think so." So I laid him down in his bed and he cried for like 10 seconds and then fell asleep with out it. Hopefully we have broken that. Now I just need to get rid of all the pacis in the house. He only has one that he loves, he was happier with none than with a bad one. Yeah for a big boy! He also gave up his bottles at the end of February, so we are done with that too. 2 more things to accomplish before the baby gets here. 1. switching to a twin bed/bunk bed with Daniel and 2. potty training. Oh the joys of motherhood!

It's a ....

I really hate how when I start a blog with exciting news, and then post it to Facebook, using networked blogs, the first few sentences of the blog show up as a preview. So just to make you all actually go to my blog to read, I have added these few sentences of rambling.

So since I found out what the gender of our new baby was on Wednesday and since all of the family would be together for Easter lunch, I decided to let the kids find out with the grandparents watching. I decided to fill 20 balloons and put a piece of paper in each, with one saying "It's a _____." They would have to pop the balloons and find the secret message to share with everyone watching. Bj videod the reveal, so I'll let you watch it.

For whatever reason, Seth was scared (he usually loves popping balloons.) By chance the message was in the very last balloon. The kids responses are great! Daniel left the room upset.

More details to follow. Ha! You have to watch the video to find out!

17 Weeks 5 Days

How Far Along: 17 Weeks 5 Days
Size of the Baby: About 5 1/2 inches long and 7 ounces. About the size of a bell pepper.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 2 pound gained. But I think the doctor's scale is wrong. I was very careful to not each much this morning before the appointment.
Maternity Clothes: Yes. On occasion I can wear a non-maternity top if it's a less fitted style, but pants are limited to either maternity or loose like lounge/pajama pants. The shirt in the picture above is not maternity, but the skirt is.
Gender: Don't know yet. I'd like a girl (since I've never had a baby girl to dress up and such) but Seth was such an easy baby (at least partially due to being a no fuss boy) so maybe we need a boy who is less high maintenance than a girl and all her accessories. We do have names picked out (if I don't change my mind) but don't think we'll share until we find out if we are having a boy or a girl. We are having a sonogram on Wednesday and I'll be able to find out what we are having. Right now I plan on revealing to the family at Easter dinner on Sunday. The kids want to know and are giving me a hard time for making them wait from Wednesday until Sunday. But what I have planned with be fun since it lets the kids be involved finding out.
Movement:None. Dr W says I should feel the baby move in the next 1-3 weeks. I have thought I've felt something, but written it off mostly because the doctor didn't really expect anything. Now, I'll start paying more attention to what I'm feeling.
What I Miss Most: sleeping all night, eating normally and not feeling hungry/overly full all the time.
Cravings:None. I can eat whatever I want, but am trying to be careful and not gain too much weight. Although I'd love to have strawberry shakes every day, I have restrained myself.
Symptoms: Shortness of breath, random aches and pains, being tired, moodiness. (The latter could also be related to the fact that I have stress on all fronts right now since its tax season.) Lately I've been waking up feeling yucky in the middle of the night. I've used the time to pray, but really wish I wasn't being woke up because I don't feel well.
Best Moment of the week:Today at the doctor's, he heard the heartbeat really quickly and said the baby was having fun. Strong, steady beat every time so far. I love it. I suppose after Wednesday the best part of the week will be finding out the gender of the baby.

Funny story: Today I asked my doctor if he was retiring. All of my doctors/dentists have announced their retirement, so I had to make sure Dr W would be delivering my baby. He quickly said no. He wouldn't be able to keep busy without the practice. It made me feel better. It's one of those randome thoughts that had me a little nervous, but I feel better now.

For whatever reason, last fall, my insurance announced that they were dropping the one hospital my doctor delivers at. So, I've decided it is cheaper to self pay the hospital (they actually charge lower rates if they don't have to deal with the insurance companies) than to run it through insurance. The out of network deductible is $15,000 so we will never meet that. All or most of the doctors (pediatrician, anesthesiologist) are covered by my insurance, just not the hospital itself. Kinda strange if you ask me. Of course the way insurances change, that could all change before I deliver anyway. All that to say, I have chosen my doctor because I love him, even if I have to self pay the hospital in order for him to deliver the baby. So if he was going to retire between now and my delivery, I was going to switch sooner rather than later.

We aren't posting on facebook/the blog until maybe Sunday night about the gender reveal. This time, I want to tell all the family first so you will just have to wait. :)

Baby Gender Poll

I believe (totally based on the last pregnancy) that next week we will schedule the sonogram to determine the gender of this baby. The kids all say, we want it to be a boy, but think it's a girl. I guess they are saving themselves the disappointment if it is a girl.

All that to say, I have added a poll in the top righthand corner of my blog. Please vote on what you think this baby will be, boy or girl. Seth repeats the option I say last, so as long as I say boy or girl, he thinks its a girl and vice versa

If we find out next week, we will be sharing with our families, including the kids, on next Sunday at Easter Dinner. I believe everyone is supposed to already be together (except my sister and her family). After that, I'll let you all know, so keep posted.

I really don't know what I think. I really don't care either way, but I think I'd like to experience raising a little girl from birth, so I'll say girl. I know I feel different, but my sister felt differently with her second than her first, and they were both girls. I guess we won't know until we know.

Good Days

Sunday was good. I guess I say that a lot. In the afternoon, we had an "all church" sing and share service. When we first got the kids, I taught them some scripture songs and each of them sang at a similar service. They have since grown up and mostly decided not to participate since then.

But this time, they each played percussion for my parents' song (bongos, congos, and tambourine). In addition, Haley quoted Psalm 91 and Katelynn played piano and sang "God is so Good." Seth entertained the few early comers with all the songs he knows. He loves the microphone. I was proud of all of them.

Tomorrow I have Haley's annual ARD/IEP meeting at school. I hate these meetings. I'm trying to get a good attitude, but I'm really struggling today. I always get emotional and cry and I'm sure that will be more likely since I am pregnant.

And to close this short post, I will add a preggo pic. I am 17 weeks tomorrow.

I really think I gained 3-4 pounds before I even saw the doctor at 10 weeks and have been basically holding steady since. I am also pretty sure I have gained 3 pounds or so in the last month, and expect to get scolded at the next doctor's appointment. Maybe if I prepare myself, I won't feel bad when it comes. :)

13w5d - Baby Update

How Far Along: 13 Weeks 5 Days
Size of the Baby: About the size of lemon, 3.5 inches long and 1.5 ounces.
Total Weight Gain/Loss: 1 pound gained. Dr W. said I've done better than him.
Maternity Clothes: Yes. On occasion I can wear a non-maternity top if it's a less fitted style, but pants are limited to either maternity or loose like lounge/pajama pants. This cold weather is making me buy more maternity clothes. Most of mine from the previous pregnancy are more summer/fall, so I needed some warmer clothes and more dress pants.
Gender: Don't know yet. I'd like a girl (since I've never had a baby girl to dress up and such) but Seth was such an easy baby (at least partially due to being a no fuss boy) so maybe we need a boy who is less high maintenance than a girl and all her accessories. We do have names picked out (if I don't change my mind) but don't think we'll share until we find out if we are having a boy or a girl.
Movement:None. Dr W says I won't feel anything until 20/21 weeks. He doesn't count "flutters" as the baby moving. I couldn't remember how far along I was when I first felt Seth move in utero.
What I Miss Most: Eating without having an overfull/sick feeling in my stomach. I usually just eat less more often, which isn't a bad plan actually.
Cravings:None. I eat whatever I want.
Symptoms: Shortness of breath. After I preached on Sunday, it took me a full 2-3 hours to feel like I could breathe again. I guess I got too excited and was talking fast or overexerting myself. :)
Best Moment of the week:Today at the doctor's, he heard the heartbeat really quickly and we heard him/her move around. He said it was because I was so thin. I wanted to document he said that since I'm sure at some point I will gain too much weight and he will mention it and I will feel bad.

Next doctor's appointment is in 4 weeks. At that point, we will probably be scheduling the gender determination sonogram. It'll be here before we know it. Especially since this next month will be pretty busy at work for me. :)

12w3d

 I am only posting today because I was asked to post more preggo pics, so here you go!

How Far Along: 12Weeks 3 Days
Size of the Baby: About the size of plum, 2.1 inches long a .49 ounces
Total Weight Gain/Loss: None.
Maternity Clothes: Yes. On occasion I can wear a non-maternity top if it's a less fitted style, but pants are limited to either maternity or loose like lounge/pajama pants.
Gender: Don't know yet. I'd like a girl (since I've never had a baby girl to dress up and such) but Seth was such an easy baby (at least partially due to being a no fuss boy) so maybe we need a boy who is less high maintenance than a girl and all her accessories. We do have names picked out (if I don't change my mind) but don't think we'll share until we find out if we are having a boy or a girl.
Movement:I really think I've felt movement, but it hasn't been consistent. Since this is the second time around, I think I'm more aware of what it feels like.
What I Miss Most: Energy. I am easily irritated,  but I'm not sure if that is due to the pregnancy or gearing up for tax season.
Cravings: Nothing too specific. Last week I wanted ranch and salad so I could cover it in ranch dressing. I also bought some veggies to dip in ranch, and then the craving subsided. I may cut up a cucumber to dip in ranch today as it sounds good again. Food cravings come and go pretty quickly. I can eat whatever I want but I tend to steer clear of large portions of meat.
Symptoms:Nausea is gone. If I overeat I am more uncomfortable than before pregnancy in similar situations. I tend to get out of breath easier. I believe this baby/my uterus is up higher this time around and I feel it more in my lungs/rib area.Weirdly enough, I am still able to sleep on my belly. I am pretty sure that by this point with Seth, that was not comfortable at all. I don't think I'm sleeping straight on my belly, maybe turned to the side a little, but on my belly none the less.
Best Moment of the week: Nothing really special since the last post. Pretty much life as normal. Next doctor's appointment is on 03/02 so you'll get another post around that time.

Here we go again!

Strong Enough

Today on the way home from work, I was listening to my Hymns CD, which has become one of my favorites. The verses of Jesus Paid it All really spoke to me.

I heard the Savior say, " Your strength indeed in small.
Child of weakness watch and pray. Find in me your all in all."

So some days I feel like I am just not strong enough to handle it all. Being a wife. A mother to 4. A good employee. And a baby growing machine. I am not at all complaining about the blessings of God but just being real here. It can be overwhelming at times.

And that is okay. Our flesh wants to be strong and gets all defensive when we are described as weak. But only in our weakness is His strength perfected in us.

I am weak. We are all weak. But we can find the strength we need in the shadow of His wings. In him we are made complete.

The presence of God was so real in my car as I was singing this song. I just couldn't stop praising him for being my strength through whatever comes my way.

Just like Daniel had strength to pray in the middle of the hungry lions.

Just like Elijah had strength to call out to God when he was faced with the challenge at Mount Carmel against the prophets of Baal.

Just like Esther had the strength to stand up for God's people even if it meant her own life.

Just like He provided strength to me as my family quickly grew and I became instant mom to 3 kids.

Just like when I've had to fight for Haley and endure her learning disability diagnosis and whatever that includes.

Just like when I've had to help Daniel with an anxiety disorder.

He has not failed me yet and this will not be the exception in my life. God is faithful and he will strengthen me to do whatever he has placed in my lap to handle.

On another note, I am scheduled to preach again on March 1st, and God is big enough for that too.

9w5d - Doctor's Appointment

The first doctor's appointment can be a little scary. I am so grateful that my mom has never been a worrier and didn't teach me to be that way. I tend to expect the best and not worry or what if something to death. When bad news comes, and it does sometimes, I grieve and I cry, but I really try not to waste time before hand borrowing that trouble.

After the normal questions, Dr. Wiegman got out his doplar to listen for a heart beat. He had warned me in advance that at this stage sometimes they are able to hear a heartbeat and sometimes they can't. It may or may not mean anything but just may be too early to find. Well he was able to find the baby's heartbeat pretty quickly from my perspective. It is just the most amazing sound.  The heart rate was 160 and he immediately said its a girl, which he followed up with how silly all the old wives tales are. Depending on where you look, each symptom leans to both a boy and a girl. I don't believe any of that stuff anyways.

It's nice to finally get some confirmation that we are pregnant besides the home pregnancy test and the way I've been feeling.

He thinks since he had no problem finding the heartbeat that I may be further along than my last menstrual cycle date would indicate. I would be happy with that since I'm hoping for an August birthday so the littles can be only 2 grades apart instead of three.

Back to the gender issue, I do know that I feel bigger up in my ribs than before. Seth was really low or that's where I felt the most discomfort when I was pregnant with him. I don't know if that difference means boy or girl, but I'll be happy with healthy.

I went and got my blood work done and have a sonogram scheduled for Wednesday. I'm ready to silence all of these twin talkers (mainly my father in law) with a sonogram that shows there is only one baby. But I guess we will all have to wait and see how that turns out.

Sweet Conversations

Today between services, I was blessed to be a part of a conversation with a sweet lady from our church. She is an older lady with grown kids who I really look up to and see as a spiritual mother/grandmother in many ways.  We've never really spoken much over the years, but I know she's been through the test of time and has stayed faithful to God, and I admire that.

As Sister Perez and I passed each other in the hallway, she took a moment to ask me how I was doing. I shared with her some of the daily struggles of being a mom and we were able to connect and share stories. I have learned to value her wisdom. One of the things she said today that stuck with me is that even if your kids don't take your advice or choose to do things in the way you want them to, they will never forget what you said. What I took from that is that even if it feels your unsolicited and unwanted "help" is a waste, give it anyways (especially if you are encouraging your kids in the things of God).  Don't give up helping your kids because God put you there to lead them. Even if they don't seem to follow, keep leading and directing anyways. 

It was nice to get a little encouragement. I generally feel hopeful about my kids, even though life isn't always peachy. I've  learned to trust God and that my worrying won't change anything for the better, but will ruin my day and attitude.

On a side note, I love the way Sister Perez dresses. She isn't super trendy, but is classic and always looks put together and appropriate. I hope I dress as nice as her when I get older.

Tomorrow is my first baby doctor appointment, so I'm sure I'll update you all tomorrow evening. Sometimes I wake up and still can't believe we are pregnant again! Squeal!!

So soon!!

Today I bit the bullet and marched down to Motherhood Maternity and bought some jeans. Now, I know I am only 7.5 weeks pregnant and I am not showing really, but I also know that attempting to wear normal jeans, even unbuttoned and even with a bellyband yesterday was miserable.

So I got three pairs of jeans that should last me until the baby arrives in August. Jeans are really the only thing I need. I saved all of my maternity clothes plus the few items my sister added to the collection during her last pregnancy so I should be set. The seasons should be close to the same as last time since Texas summer/fall aren't really that different.

Most of my normal (non-maternity) work clothes were on the bigger side since I was at my skinniest before I became pregnant and hadn't bought new smaller clothes really. All that to say, it should be a little while before I need to pull all of my maternity clothes out of the attic.

Bj and I really struggled with girl names with Seth but didn't have to resolve that once we found out he was a boy. So now, I am mulling over some names and trying to come up with another boy name that I like and girl names. Generally I have come up with names I like and then run them by BJ. He doesn't tend to have an opinion unless it is negative so that will at least help me eliminate names. The way I figure, I have about 10-11 weeks to at least get a couple of options ready.  Nothing like starting early. That is so not typical Sandra behavior. Ha!

So grateful for the chance to do this again! God is so good!