Hands and Feet

Today's blog is brought to you by a throwback to an oldish song. Just old enough to not be cool any more but not old enough to be retro. I think it came out in the early 2000s.

"I wanna be your hands. I wanna be your feet. I'll go where you send me. Go where you send me."

I was sitting in line at Sonic this morning. I was greated by the voice of an employee who was either really tired or had already had a bad morning. It was easily detected in her voice and written on her face. After I got my breakfast, I made an effort to smile real nicely at her and tell her to have a great day!

And I started singing this song.

And realized the chorus itself sure places a lot of emphasis on people being God's hands and feet in missions. Being willing to go to far away places and be Jesus to people who need that, but nothing (at least not in the chorus) about being his hands and feet right where you are. Jesus hasn't called all of us to go to other countries, but he sure has called us all to represent him right where we are. To hug the ones He wants to hug, to pray for the person in the next office, and to be a light in the darkness that surrounds our daily existence.

I'm not at all putting down missions. We support many missionaries and missions trips all the time when asked, because that is also a part of what God has called us to do. But that isn't all. Yes, Mark 16:15, the most quoted missions verse, tells us to go into all the world, but your neighborhood is a part of the world too. Your work place needs some light. Your kids' school needs some light. Your grocery store needs some light. Your Walmart needs some light. (Can I get an amen?)

So get out of what is comfortable, move past that, to the place where you are aware of the people around you. The place where you notice needs. Where you show Jesus-like compassion to the hurting. Where you become a friend of the friendless. Where you are a living breathing representation of Jesus everywhere you go. And not just when you get off of an airplane in another country.

Not Disappointed

And HOPE does not disappoint us because God has poured out his love into our hearts.  Romans 5:5

Ever wanted something so badly only to be disappointed when t didn't appear as you thought it would? For me, this has often led to choosing not to hope. Not to strive for something that isn't attainable. Not to keep putting myself out there with the fear of failure and disappointment staring me in the face.

But God is changing me. In the past 6 months I have had more opportunity to obey God at the risk of looking foolish than probably ever before in my life. I've been contacting people God has laid on my heart, sharing things he's showed me with people as he's led and just opened myself up. I don't know if that makes more real or maybe just more aware of people around me and not so self centered. Maybe just seeing things through God's eyes more.

And I have seen no results really from any of that. But this time, I don't feel "weary in well doing" or discouraged. I think my focused has changed. I feel like I'm a part of something bigger and not so focused on immediate or short term goals. I still have hope because my hope is not in visible results but in the love God has for me and those he has allowed me to minister to. Because of his love, he will keep pursuing those who need him, he will keep speaking to them, and drawing them to himself. Sometimes he'll use me, sometimes others, but he will accomplish his purpose.

And He will not disappoint so I won't be disappointed.

Full Class

Let me start by saying my heart is happy and it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with God.

Bj and I have been teaching the college career Sunday School class for something like 7 or 8 years. I originally took this class as a total act of obedience to God, a step of faith that was a very big risk personally. Something I didn't really want to do because I knew it would be difficult.

Right after high school is the time in your life where you decide (for yourself and not just to please your parents) if you will really serve God or not. And honestly, this is the time where we lose a lot of people raised in church who decide to do their own thing.

So knowing the importance of teaching Gods word and connecting with this specific group of people, I've prayed for them a lot and honestly not seen much for results. Our class size has fluctuated a lot, depending on if that particular group of kids were ready to go all in for God or wanted to go make their own way. But right now, I feel like the group we have is all in. The class has been great the last few weeks (I had 4 promote up in August). I feel like they are catching the vision for the future of the church and are willing to do what it takes.

Honestly, I believe this is the group that will usher in the growth God wants to bring. That doesn't mean the rest of us don't have a part (goodness, we all have to work together) but the church as a whole has got to stop losing kids when they leave home and start investing in them so they can be the young families of the future. We have to provide every opportunity for them to know they are important but more than that, to have a real encounter with God that will change them and affirm for them that serving God is worth it and He has a plan for them, bigger than their wildest dreams.

All that to say, my class is full and I feel like I'm finally getting a peek at part of the harvest of those years of prayer and tears. God is so faithful and I'm honored to be a part of what God is going to do next!

Two Weeks

Seth has finished his second week of PreK and he is doing so well!! Because we are blessed to have grandparents close who watch the littles while we work, there wasn't a necessity for Seth to go to PreK, but I knew that I wanted him to have some sense of structure and classroom behavior and expectations before he got to kindergarten.

In March, I got him on a waiting list for a local PreK/Mother's Day Out program and the waiting began. In the meantime, I got all the big kids ready for school and just figured if he got in for at least one semester, he'd be good. After the big kids started school and less than a week before the program started, we got a call telling us they had a spot for him in the Pre K 5 class at Walnut Ridge Baptist Church. And I started getting worried for him.

Besides a once a week half day program he's done with my mom, Seth has never really been in a program with other kids where he wasn't the center of the universe. He throws fits for me when he doesn't get his way. He plays really rough with his siblings (thanks to a big brother). I was just praying he wouldn't get kicked out. He's super smart, but I really felt like he needed this more for the social/structure side than the educational piece.

I expressed my concerns to his teacher when I dropped off the paperwork and she assured me he'd be fine. It may take some time to adjust, but most kids from similar situations fit in rather quickly. At meet the teacher, he wouldn't cooperated or even really meet Mrs. Vickie. It didn't help that the visit started with him running into another of his teachers. He didn't expect her to be there (as a parent) and he just spiraled downward after that, hiding in the corner, escaping from the room, acting angry. My mom later got him to express that he was nervous and just didn't know how to express himself. We came up with a plan for the first day that he could tell me if he was nervous, we would ask God to help him, and then he would go to class. And that's pretty much exactly what happened.

No tears, no fighting, and not getting angry. He went into his class like a pro. I did pray for him when he felt nervous and then said my goodbyes. We were both fine until I pull out of the parking lot. I shed a few tears (how could he possibly be this old already?), distracted myself and waited anxiously to hear about his first day.

He did awesome and has pretty much been that way every day since. He loves school and has already learned so much. He is just a sponge at this age and loves it all. The highlight of his second week was getting invited to the birthday party for one of his classmates. He has gradually eaten more and more of his lunch (also something I was concerned about), has earned several super stars for good behavior, and was sad that he didn't have school yesterday (it's only Tuesday through Thursday).

The things he has has learned in only 2 weeks, 6 days really, blows my mind. I told him if he keeps learning so much so fast, he would be smarter than me soon. He smiled at the possibility.

I'm so glad I made the effort to get him in a program this year. I almost didn't (goodness I don't need another thing to keep up with). The whole experience makes me look forward to kindergarten for him next year.

I pulled out the easy reader books yesterday and we've started reading more with him. The big kids were nostalgic when they saw the books come out, and remember most of them, claiming certain ones as favorites. I love that my big kids finally have "when I was younger" memories that include us. Things have come full circle.

Settled

So the kids are 2.5 weeks into the school year and they are all doing well. I know that school starts this way every year, but this time, I feel like a different parent. Like I have learned how to be helpful instead of frustrated. Like they have really turned a corner and are taking responsibility for themselves and stepping up in a lot of ways. Yes, I remind them according to the general emails the teachers send and what i see in their grades online, but I hope they feel like I'm being helpful and not the incessant nag.

And so far, I'm doing okay at focusing on the positive and encouraging them (or I feel like I am) and it seems to be helping a lot. I know stressful times will come, but I also am so proud of them all for doing great at something none of them enjoy.

I'm in a weird place as a parent where my more difficult children are the little ones. I honestly never thought his day would come. Because these last five years have definitely had a lot of struggles. Some expected and "normal" for their ages and some totally from left field. And it has been a rollercoaster. Normally I'd love that in the physical sense, but this one, goodness it's been crazy.

But in the big scheme of things I was reminded this week how blessed we are. The kids adjustment and connection to us could have been so much worse. When you are in the process of getting licensed to adopt, you hear all sorts of horror stories. I'm sure you've all seen or heard about an adoption gone terribly wrong. And you pray that isn't what you are opening yourself to when you obey God voice and choose adoption for your family, but you ultimately place that all in God's hands and trust him to place the kids with you that he has planned. Oh, it's definitely a scary place where it is a lot out of your control, and you can't see the end from the beginning, but God always knows what he's doing.

Today I was asked if there was anything I needed prayer for, and honestly, I answered no. I feel very settled and good right now. Like my focus is rightly placed. Things are going well right now. There are things I'm trusting God for that I don't yet see, but I'm choosing to not be worried about it.

Today at church, Pastor briefly mentioned that in our successes we are tempted most to become self sufficient and stop depending on God as we should, so I'm very intentional to not let that happen this time. I also know, the mountain doesn't last long before the devil is on my heels again. But for now I will be grateful for this time of being settled and gaining strength as I sit at the Masters feet before the next battle begins.