Settled

So the kids are 2.5 weeks into the school year and they are all doing well. I know that school starts this way every year, but this time, I feel like a different parent. Like I have learned how to be helpful instead of frustrated. Like they have really turned a corner and are taking responsibility for themselves and stepping up in a lot of ways. Yes, I remind them according to the general emails the teachers send and what i see in their grades online, but I hope they feel like I'm being helpful and not the incessant nag.

And so far, I'm doing okay at focusing on the positive and encouraging them (or I feel like I am) and it seems to be helping a lot. I know stressful times will come, but I also am so proud of them all for doing great at something none of them enjoy.

I'm in a weird place as a parent where my more difficult children are the little ones. I honestly never thought his day would come. Because these last five years have definitely had a lot of struggles. Some expected and "normal" for their ages and some totally from left field. And it has been a rollercoaster. Normally I'd love that in the physical sense, but this one, goodness it's been crazy.

But in the big scheme of things I was reminded this week how blessed we are. The kids adjustment and connection to us could have been so much worse. When you are in the process of getting licensed to adopt, you hear all sorts of horror stories. I'm sure you've all seen or heard about an adoption gone terribly wrong. And you pray that isn't what you are opening yourself to when you obey God voice and choose adoption for your family, but you ultimately place that all in God's hands and trust him to place the kids with you that he has planned. Oh, it's definitely a scary place where it is a lot out of your control, and you can't see the end from the beginning, but God always knows what he's doing.

Today I was asked if there was anything I needed prayer for, and honestly, I answered no. I feel very settled and good right now. Like my focus is rightly placed. Things are going well right now. There are things I'm trusting God for that I don't yet see, but I'm choosing to not be worried about it.

Today at church, Pastor briefly mentioned that in our successes we are tempted most to become self sufficient and stop depending on God as we should, so I'm very intentional to not let that happen this time. I also know, the mountain doesn't last long before the devil is on my heels again. But for now I will be grateful for this time of being settled and gaining strength as I sit at the Masters feet before the next battle begins.