Faith Words

Today, or rather this week, I've compared myself to others, I've asked God why me? I've struggled as I fell on my face again as a mom.  But instead of rehashing all of that and blogging through my tears I'm doing something really intentional, even though I don't feel it at all.

Today I'm choosing to be thankful for what God has given me and not dwell in the what-ifs. Today I'm thankful that my house is full and never quiet. That there is chaos and fussing between the kids because at least that means there are kids here. Today I'm thankful that God has given me them all to draw me closer to him. Today I'm thankful for the plans he has for them even though I can't see it and it is definitely not going to be fulfilled through my efforts which always seem to fall short.

I'm thankful for their smiles and laughs. I'm thankful that they aren't afraid to be silly and goofy. I'm thankful that they aren't shy or intimidated by others often (such the opposite of me as a little girl). I'm thankful that they make friends easily. I'm thankful that they are respectful to others. I'm thankful that they don't fight me about going to church. I'm thankful that despite my failings, which are many, they are thriving. I'm thankful for God's grace when I mess things up.

I'm thankful that God's ways are greater than mine. I'm thankful that he sees potential when I can't. I'm thankful that he knows each one of my kids and has had plans for them since before they were born. Before I had any thoughts or intentions regarding adoption and adding them to our family. I'm thankful that His word always accomplishes his purposes.

I'm thankful that this too will pass. I'm thankful that God's mercies are new every morning.

I'm thankful that he has them, all of them in the palm of his hands. I'm thankful that God's plans are purposeful and intentional and not accidental.

I'm thankful that God is changing me. I'm thankful that His strength is made perfect in weakness. I'm thankful that I don't have to make God's will happen. I'm thankful that God knew what he was doing when he gave them, all of them, to us, and he still knows what he is doing now. His plans didn't change because I'm not the mom I wish I was, but he knew me, and gave them to us and still chose this for them. Because our family was His best for them.

Praise God for He is Good!!

30 Blogs Day 6

Day 6 is supposed to be my favorite superhero and why. I've seen many superhero movies but am not into superheroes,so I've opted to revisit a previous day that gave me two options.  The option I didn't select from day 4 is something I'm looking forward to.

This one is kind of hard for me because I'm always planning and thinking ahead and hoping things turn out as I anticipated. So, with that in mind, there are a few things I'm looking forward to:

1. Kids 1, 2, and 3 graduating school. It's not that I want them to grow up faster than it already feels like, but at least today, I want that struggle to be over for them. Obviously, I'd love for them to succeed and feel successful in an academic setting, but there are moments ,the realist in me just wants that to be over. In that same thought, I am looking forward to each of them finding their passion and pursuing it, not because it is expected or normal, but because there is so much confidence that comes with that. I know God has big things for each of them and am excited to see what that is.

2. Seth and Julia going to school. I really think it's gonna be a totally different experience, much more similar to mine, than it has been for the big kids. I love school and am looking forward to them loving it too so I can not dread it anymore.

3. Being a part of a thriving growing church. I fully believe God is getting ready to blow open the doors at RLC and it's gonna be a totally different church in the near future. The growing pains aren't fun, but I'm so ready to be in the middle of some exciting things God is bringing our way.

God's Desires

Lord, show me your desires and let them become my desires too.

We've recently started a study on prayer in our Sunday School class and it has been so timely for me. I've learned so much or maybe just was reminded of things I hadn't thought about in a while.

As a parent, I would say my main ongoing prayers are for my kids. I have so many things I want for them. They are all good things and all according to God's word and general will. But I feel like sometimes, I get so caught up praying for what I want to happen or what I think should take place that I don't seek out and ask God what he wants for them so that I can pray according to his will and not my desires.

In reality, any desire that I have for my kids apart from God's is selfish of me. And convincing God to see things my way or take my suggestion isn't what prayer is about at all.

God wants his will to be accomplished in earth by his power. Prayer doesn't change God's will, but changes our will and desires to what God wants. Then we can pray according to his will and he can use our prayers to accomplish what he desires to do already.

The other thing that really stuck out to me this week is that God is a big picture God. Sometimes it seems like God's will is not accomplished in certain situations in our lives. When that happens, we need to keep our eyes open to see what happens next because God will is being accomplished on a bigger scale than we look at.

God, thank you for choosing to use the prayers of your people to accomplish your plans on earth! Help us get in line with you and pray your desires into reality in us!

My Haley Girl

Any one out there with a teenage or pre-teen girl? I see that hand. That sad, worn out, frustrated, exhausted hand. Those girls give us a run for our money. 

Between trying to exert their independence and being clearly smarter than us and knowing everything,  I would say this is probably the most difficult age to parent. (Although I'll probably change my mind when the next stage comes.)

I love Haley, really I do, its just hard to be in the same room with her some times. :)

So I've been choosing my battles wisely. Trying to show her that I'm okay with her growing up as long as she can be responsible. And trying very hard to show respect to her especially when it isn't mutual and give her the benefit of the doubt rather than remind her of her negative tendencies. And pray for her A LOT rather than try and force her to mature and be respectful. (Please don't read any of this to mean I am perfect, because I'm not even close.)

In the past couple of days she has randomly come over to give me a hug or tell me thank you for little things. The other day when she was doing her nightly devotions she thanked God for us. These are all little things, but I'm choosing to see them as an answer to prayer. A step in the right direction.

I really want to have a close relationship with my Haley Girl (all my kids, really, but I'm not worried as much about the other 4), so I hope we are seeing the beginning of some mutual respect at least.  I know we won't always agree, but as long as she knows I love her, we've at least got some ground to build on.

Praying for my kids - Peace

My kids struggle. At school. In life. In many ways they are normal kids, but there are moments when I see the effects of the unfair start they got to life. And it makes me so mad at the devil. So frustrated that they have to deal with this. That I have to deal with this. I will be the first to admit I have given God all sorts of suggestions on how to fix the problem (I am sure I am the only one who tells God how to fix things.)

So this morning on the way to school, I was praying over my kids (out loud so they could hear like I do each morning) and the Spirit of God led me to pray for peace for them. I have prayed many things for them over the years (yes, they have been with us for almost 2 years) but I'm not sure peace was ever one of them, unless it was just in passing. God showed me that the source of most if not all of their struggles is the internal turmoil they go through on a daily basis. And as I pray for God's peace to cover their minds, their emotions, their hearts, the peace of God will calm the troubled waters and all the other stuff (you know, that I was praying for God to do) would be taken care of.  Thank you God for your word for my kids!

So often we pray for the symptoms of our struggles, because they are tangible to us, and we can identify them. But if we will let the Spirit of God lead our prayers he will show us the source, so we can cut it off at the root of the problem. 

So, today and every day until God leads me differently, I will pray for God's peace to cover my kids and his plans will be accomplished in their lives. Praise God!

Day 7 - Passion for the Lord

I know it has been a long time since I started this, but I really do like to finish what I start, so I figured I would do some of these in between other things. When I looked back at the list, I was excited about today's prayer for our kids.

Passion - a strong, compelling emotion or feeling.

Because our relationship with God is such a personal thing, it is really hard as a parent to know how serious your kids are about God or how much of what you are teaching them is really sinking in and leading them to love God. All you can see or measure is their lives. And honestly, kids are rebellious. All of us have sinful tendencies until we ask God to help us and we become new creations in him. I can't make them love God and can't make them be passionate about serving him or choosing to live to please him. I can show them what it is like to live for God and I can teach them that God loves them and is faithful to help them and strengthen, but I can't make them passionate. That's where God comes in. He has to give them hunger and passion to pursue him and love him.

God, I pray that you will just love on my kids today. Show them how real you are and that your love for them doesn't change based on whether they make good or bad choices that day. Help them to see that living for you is worth giving up their own ways for your ways. I pray that your love for them and theirs for you will grow each day and they will fall in love with you more every day.  God, show yourself to be faithful and loving and true to them so they know that they can trust you. I pray that you will lead them in your ways and grow them up to be the men and women of God you intended them to be. God, protect them from the distractions the devil will try to throw at them and help them to be single focused on serving you so much that nothing else in this world matters to them but you.

Day 6 - Thankfulness

It really surprises me that kids who come from hard places aren't more appreciative when they get a new home where things, from the adult perspective, are so much better and they don't really need for anything.  In my discussions with other adoptive parents, I have learned it is quite common for the kids to act entitled and not grateful or appreciative.  We have come a long way in the past year in this area.

It is easy for all of us, adults included, to be too busy or too preoccupied to be grateful and thankful for what we have. Even with the best of intentions. it doesn't always happen like it should.

Prayer-

God, teach us all to be more appreciative and more grateful for the many things you have blessed us with.  God, you have given us so much more than we deserve and we are amazed!  I know that gratefulness is more than words, but an attitude, so change our thoughts and our attitudes towards people and bring us to a place we are truly thankful for all you are doing and have done. Help us to see people as you do and to appreciate their work and their efforts on our behalf.  Help us to encourage and build up and not hurt and tear down with our words and out actions.  May we never forget that you are our provider and without you we would have nothing and would be no one.  We are who we are and have what we have because of your goodness and your grace.

Day 5 - Patience

We work on being patient at my house A LOT.  I have sung the "Be patient" song enough to drive them all crazy, and yet we are still having issues.  It's really not their fault.  We are all selfish and we all think we deserve what we want when we want it without having to wait for everything.  Because we've been trained by society to think it's all about us.

And I'm not sure I'm a good example at patience.  I've tried to learn to be patient over the years and yet the impatient monster rears its ugly head more than I care to admit.

Nonetheless, God expects us to be patient, with each other, with ourselves (this one's hard for me) and with him, especially when we don't see things happening the way we think they should.

Prayer for the Kids:
God, I pray that you will help my kids to learn to wait well.  I know that patience is learned by example and as we go through trials.  Help them to know that we and you have their best interest at heart and that good things are worth the wait.

Help their lives to show the fruit of the spirit as they spend more time with you every day. Help them to develop a relationship with you that encourages them to be patient with others and with themselves when they don't get something the first time they try.  Give them the determination to keep seeking you and keep trying new things knowing that you are faithful.

Day 4 - Joy

As adults over time we let our circumstances determine our joy instead of our God.  And his provision. And his promises. And the things he has for us.  I know that I am usually a realist and I let my view of what is really happening limit my joy. 

Most of the time kids are able to have child-like faith and believe without doubt and all the things adults let hinder them.  But because my kids are from hard places, they've lost some of that.  They have been hurt more than other kids and have endured more than other kids, so they've become more skeptical and more calloused. 

Prayer for my Kids:

God, help my kids to be kids again.  Let them somehow regain the innocence most kids have and fully experience the joy found in your presence.  I don't want them to miss out on the blessing of being a kid with no worries, so help them to let go of the things they've had to carry over the past years to protect themselves.  Help them to be able to let go of the habits they have created to survive and realize they are safe here and can just be kids enjoying life to the fullest. Let them know they are taken care of and they are loved and they are free to just be kids again.  Let them realize that finding joy in you is where they will gain strength.

Show them where they are taking on more than they need to and help them to feel safe enough to let go and let you be in control and let us lead them as their parents.

Give them your joy in each day. Help them be confident in your love for them and help them to share your joy and love with others.

Day 3 - Love of God's Word

I am so excited to pray for my kids to have a love of God's word today.  If you know me, AT ALL, I am convinced that memorizing scripture is the best way to defend yourself against the devil and to go after him on the offense as well. It's the only offensive weapon we have according to Ephesians 6.  I have been memorizing scripture since a very young age and even memorized entire books of the Bible at a time from 7th-12th grade for Bible Quiz. And most of it, by constant use, I remember at least in pieces.  I honestly don't know how I ever would have survived without having God's word living and breathing inside of me through all these years.  How can you ever stand against the devil when he hits in the middle of the day if you have to take the time to find a verse to defend yourself with? I would call scripture memory the always ready weapon.  And if you say you can't memorize or its too hard, let me tell you that is certainly not God telling you that.  Of course the devil wants you in an "I can't" frame of mind so he can beat you more easily.  When you realize how important it is, you will make time and you will learn how to memorize. Ok, stepping off of my soap box, kinda, and moving on to praying for my kids.

So you won't be surprised to know that as soon as we got the kids almost a year ago (has it really been that long?) we almost immediately started implementing Bible Scripture memory into their lives as a  itof our nightly Bible times and supporting and helping them to learn verses for their Wednesday night and Sunday School classes.  I am a firm believer that God's word will always accomplish in our lives what God intends it to, whether it be during and after it is being memorized or years down the road when it resurfaces as God reminds us of his promises. 

One of the first passages of scripture we memorized with the kids was I Corinthians 1:4-8. Yes, even my then 4 year old had this memorized.  ( By the way, if she could memorize this passage at 4 when she doesn't even know what a lot of the words mean and she certainly can't spell them, so can you!)  We said it every night for months, adding one line at a time.  We reviewed it a couple of weeks ago and for the most part they still remember it.  Why that scripture? Well because the love they knew was not God's love.  They knew the love that was bought, and that broke promises, and that was conditional at best. So I wanted them to know, from the beginning, that God's love isn't like that and our love for them isn't like that.  Plus, when they were acting poorly I could ask them if they loved me.  They would say yes and we could use this verse to tell them that if they loved, they would not be rude or they would not keep track of other's wrongs.  Memorizing this passage of scripture also taught them that they could do more than they thought.  And the feeling of accomplishment you get when you do something you thought was impossible, is contagious, and enough to make you try something else you thought you couldn't do.  It was really good for their self esteem. 

Ok, onto the prayer.

For the kids:

God, give my kids a love for your Word.  Because it is through your word that we really learn who you are.  Give them a passion for hiding your word deep inside so they can know your love on a deeper level and know who you have made them to be.  I pray that your Holy Spirit will make your word come alive to them. That it won't just be another book or something they learn because they have to but a treasure they want to hold onto. That their faith in you will be based on your word and your character that do not change and not just on feelings or emotions. Give them  understanding beyond their years of what your word is saying and give them a hunger for your word that grows more with each passing day.

Day 2 - Hope

When you live life without Jesus, there is really no hope for the future.  You try to find fulfillment in accomplishments and things, but in the end all of that is empty.  Life is just a series of days that really lead to nothing without God. That is one of the reasons I am so grateful for my kids.  God gave them a chance to come from hopelessness to a place of hope.  Because in Him there is a reason to life and a future to hope for and to strive for.  The term hope automatically brings one of my favorite verses to mind.

Jeremiah 29:11says God has plans for hope for us. As Pastor talked about a few weeks back, God doesn't plan for our defeat but for our victory.  We just have to put our hope in him who is able to do exceedingly above what we can ask or imagine.

So back to the kids, they are learning what it is like to hope in someone who loves them more than they can imagine and who can change things and won't fail them.  For the most part they get it in their heads, but I'm not sure it's been solidified in their inner man yet.  Goodness, I'm not sure I always am able to hope when things seem hopeless.  It's a learning and growing curve. A constant progress to total faith and hope in what we can't see but KNOW to be true.

Prayer for the Kids -

God, prove yourself to my kids.  Their experiences have taught them not to trust and not to hope in people because they have been failed time after time. We can talk about hoping in you all day, but until they have tested you and seen you show up for them, they won't ever fully be able to grasp the hope they can have in you. Move them from a place of despair to hope.  Where they can get a glimpse of the awesome things you have planned for them as they learn to trust you more. God give them strength to break the old habits they created to protect themselves from being hurt and help them to open up and allow themselves to hope in you and your great plan for them.

31 Days of Prayer for my Kids

The Nester started 31 days of change yesterday actually, so I am a little behind, but I decided to join even a day late.  I figured I could do anything for 31 days, right?  I know life is crazy, but my goal is to make it 31 days posting prayers for my kids on certain topics. So here it goes.

I am using this list, but there are plenty on the internet.  Please join me in praying for our kids.

Day 1 - Faith

When I think about faith and my kids, I think about where they came from. Their perspective on many things about life were learned from their birth parents or foster parents and have nothing to do with God.  Seeing them and the things they are having to unlearn and relearn to live life God's way makes me even more grateful for the Christian upbringing I had. Yes it's true that I know nothing different than serving God, but I wouldn't have it any other way. 

For Haley 

God, I pray that you will give her faith to believe, not only that you are God and you are real and you are for her but also that you love her, no matter what.  Help her to know that even when it doesn't make sense, her faith in you will be her foundation, something to hold on when the world around her is confusing and constantly changing. Help her to know that doing all the right things will never fully please you unless she believes in you and puts her faith in all that you are and can be in her life.

For Daniel

God, help him to be able to believe in you and trust you fully.  I know he has learned from experience that people will fail him, so help him to see that you aren't just another person, but you are God and you will always keep your promises.  Help him to see the value in believing in you and living for you.  Let him make the connection between what he believes and how he lives.  That his faith should change the way he treats people and the love he has for others.

For Katelynn

God, I thank you for Katelynn's uninhibited love for and faith in you.  I thank you that you have protected her from some of the harms her siblings have had to endure. So help her to give herself fully to serving you.  Help her to share her faith with others in a way that expresses you are a God of love and not rules.  I know she doesn't understand everything and she doesn't always remember things correctly, but I pray that her love for you will motivate her to be concerned for those around her and to continue to share your love with them.