Julia's Birth Story

Let me start by saying God is so gracious and merciful! For the most part things went really well. During our few hiccups I just remained focused and wasn't at all anxious or worried. I was totally at peace through every thing and give all the glory!

We were scheduled to be at the hospital at 4:30am on Thursday August 27th. At 3:35, they called us to move it back to 6:15. I was already up and my mom was on her way to my house when we told her so we chatted an hour before I let her go back to sleep and we left for the hospital. We put the car seat base in at about 5:45. Nothing quite like last minute.

We got to the hospital on time and in the first thirty minutes, I got my IV (without passing out), got all the baby/contraction monitors hooked up and Julia started kicking the monitors. I was dilated 2 cm when they started the Pitocin at 7:20. Doctor Wiegman showed up at 8, checked me and I was 3.5 cm and Julia's head at -2 station. He broke my water.

At about 9:45, I got an epidural and was so happy when it took affect. I could still feel the contractions on the top of my uterus, which I don't remember from Seth's delivery. Julia has been so much higher in my ribs the entire pregnancy so maybe that is the reason I felt the contractions so high up with her. At about 10:15 we started noticing a significant heart rate drop for Julia with each contraction down to 60 or 70 beats per minute and quickly recovering to 140 after the contraction was over. At 11 they gave me oxygen to try and help. Seth did the same thing and had the cord around his neck twice so we anticipated the same.

Doctor Wiegman showed up about noon and checked me to find I was complete and ready to push. Mom had just got there with Seth so I said a quick hi and bye before I started pushing. I was surprised he wasn't freaked out with me in a hospital bed, especially because I had oxygen on my face. He was all smiles and excited to meet Julia.

I pushed through three contractions and she was born at 12:10pm. Doctor Wiegman later said he was glad we got her here fast or he was going to have to do something because the cord was around her neck so tightly. She came out a little blue in the face with a bruise across her forehead and on her arm. Her hands and feet were white because of poor circulation during delivery. The nurse said she was glad I wasn't more worried because they were able to give direction without dealing with an emotional mom. As I prayed for, I was blissfully ignorant of how bad it really was or could have been and was able to enjoy her delivery and not worry. That was definitely a God thing!

She weighed 7 lb 5.8 oz and was 19.5 inches long. Bigger than Seth by almost 12 oz. Dr. Wiegman though she may be smaller than Seth due to the measurements of my uterus and weight gain at the end of the pregnancy, but he was wrong. The nurses asked me at some point how big I thought she was and I said bigger than Seth, over 7 pounds, and I was right.

They handed her to me for some skin to skin time and to try an get her to nurse. She didn't want to latch on, which the nurses attributed to her being tired from her tough delivery. The grandparents (minus my dad) were allowed back in about 12:30 and I was told they would take Julia to the nursery about 1:30 to clean her up and get her to cry a bit to help with circulation. Jill and the girls got there about 1 and got to meet Julia before she went back to be cleaned up.

After they took her back to the nursery, the nurse got me cleaned up and into my postpartum/recovery room. As soon as she left, I got out of bed, changed clothes and got settled on the couch. When the next few nurses came in to introduce themselves, they were shocked to find me out of bed and commented how I didn't look like I'd just had a baby. That was my goal from the beginning and I am glad things went well and I could speed up my recovery by being active without overdoing it.

That evening, we had some more visitors including Pastor and Sister Snyder, Kim Williams, my coworkers (Elaine, Shannon, Alex, and Jeff), and all the kids and my mom and dad. We were able to get a new family picture (which we failed to do when Seth was born and I've regretted).

When we left the hospital the day after she was born, Julia's weight was only down to 6lbs15oz, which is about 5% of birthweight. She also was not jaundice at all. Praise the Lord! She had already become a pretty good eater (much attributed to a mom who knew what she was doing) and we haven't had any weight issues with her.

 

We went to the pediatrician on Thursday (9/3) for her first well check and everything was perfect. Her weight was up to 7lb 1oz and she had already grown a quarter of an inch (although the way they measure length is definitely less than perfect) and all her percentages are about average. 25th percentile in weight, 46th percentile in height and 21st percentile in head circumference.  They also told me we could do the 10 day blood test at the office when we go for her 2 week checkup instead of at the hospital. This was an answer to prayer as the hospital where we would normally go for this is not on my insurance, so I'd decided to figure out if there was another way to do this or if we could just avoid it all together. The doctor mentioned it without me even asking, so I know God was making this as easy as possible for me.

And life as a family of 7 has begun!

When God Gives Me What I Want

God made me with a Type A personality. Very organized. Planned. Not spontaneous at all.  So over the years, there have been many times when God has had to mess me up and teach me to trust him and that his ways are better than my plans. God has given me many surprises that have rocked me to my very core.

Surprise! You can't get pregnant when you want to and have babies when you plan them to be born!

Surprise! You are going to adopt!

Surprise! You are going to adopt 3 kids at once!

Surprise! Now you are going to be pregnant!

Surprise! Now your daughter has a learning disability!

Surprise! Now your son can't sit still and has anxiety issues!

Surprise! Now you aren't going to have a natural birth with no medications like your mom and sister!

Surprise! Now your daughter isn't going to try her best because she thinks she's stupid!

So when things actually kinda go the way I would like or according to my personality, I am almost more surprised than when they don't. Take my labor and deliveries. Both of them were/will be inductions (unless she just can't wait another 7 hours). Now, that isn't what my initial goal was with Seth, but looking back, I am really glad I was induced with him. It let me plan who was watching my kids when. It took the surprise or guessing out of the "am I in labor or not?" questions all moms have or the last minute shifting of kids to grandparents so we can get to the hospital in time.  All of these things made it a very good birth experience for me.

And this time, I know more what to expect since I've been through this before with the same doctor at the same hospital. I like being able to mentally plan. It makes me less stressed. I am totally aware that it won't be exactly like last time, but I'm also not worried about it.

I expect her to be here by lunch tomorrow and I want to stay only one night and come home on Friday.

So today I am grateful that God has allowed somethings in my life to stay organized and planned and that every once in a while he chooses to agree with me and my great ideas!

The Things You Forget

I don't forget many things. Especially if it is important to me. I kind of pride myself in remembering details about others. It's part of the way I show others that I care. (And that was not at all where I was going with this blog.)

I am amazed at the things about my delivery of Seth that I don't remember. I mean that is why people decide to have more kids after all. I know that it was not traumatic and I remember many details, just not all of them. So even though I've done this before, I feel like there is still a lot that is unknown at this point.

I do know that I am not nervous about the induction and I'm not adamantly against an epidural like I tried to be last time. Been there, done that, overall a good experience for me.

I'm a little more nervous about how Julia is doing, mainly because Dr W is concerned she is small. Seth was small, so I should be used to that and yet it makes me a little nervous. It helps me a little that she keeps moving and we have heard a strong heartbeat from the very beginning.

I think the realist in me won't let me assume it will all go like last time. Praying everything will go smoothly, though. When I look back, I realize there were some hiccups in Seth's delivery that I was too naive to be worried about in the moment. I'm praying for a little of that again. I want to enjoy this experience as much as the first one without unnecessary worrying.

I do plan to take better notes throughout the process to help me remember more what happened and when. I think the timeline of Seth's delivery day is what I don't remember the most, so I plan to change that this time.

It's hard to believe that we are less than a week away from Julia's birth.

I plan to update facebook and/or the blog from the hospital, so stay tuned for the next adventure in our lives. Don't know if I'll blog again before then. Depends on how my next week goes.

Breastfeeding

So besides the "is he always awake?" question, the second most common question I get is "Are you nursing/breastfeeding him?" (On a totally separate note, is it more politically correct/less embarrassing to say nursing instead of breastfeeding? It totally doesn't bother me to say breastfeeding at all, but I guess it bothers some people.)

I've decided to do a post about my breastfeeding journey so far.  I was surprised to hear a friend say that no one told her it would be difficult to breastfeed, which gives me even more reason to write about this topic. I guess if you think about it, breastfeeding is a very natural thing and our bodies are made to breastfeed, so it should be easy, right? Well not necessarily. And I knew that full well going into this.  I was asked at my first prenatal doctor's appointment if I would be breastfeeding and my answer has always been I'd like to and I'll try to. My doctor was happy with that. Actually the two things I wanted to do concerning my labor/delivery and this baby was go without an epidural (which I failed at) and breastfeed (which I have managed to get the hang of over the past few weeks). Obviously if you are offended by breastfeeding or related topics, you probably shouldn't read this post. I want to share my experiences to help other young moms that think they can't do this or that it is impossible.

I went into this decision to breastfeed knowing it could be difficult and quite honestly, that I may decide it was too hard for me. I had a few friends/acquaintances who tried for about 3-4 days to breastfeed and then gave up at that point. I totally understand that, because my roughest time was probably the night of day 4 after he was born. Ok, let me go back to the beginning at the hospital.

First off, shortly after Seth was born they gave him to me to try and breastfeed him.  He wouldn't latch on well.  I tried for about an hour to get him to nurse and didn't get him latched on once during that time.  I was still on an emotional high (I had just had my son who I prayed for so desperately for so long), so I didn't let myself get disappointed or stressed, but just figured he would get it eventually.

When we were moved to the mother/child room / postpartum room, my day nurse for the first few hours happened to be a lactation consultant who helped me try and get him to feed. After about 20 minutes I learned a few things. 1. He wasn't opening his mouth wide enough to get a good latch. 2. He just wasn't ready at that point to breastfeed. I think that because he was so small, it was harder for him to latch on and to see the value in that at least initially.  But I kept trying for the next few days at the hospital.  On day two he finally latched on and ate for a good 20 minutes and I felt like I had conquered the world. After that, each time he would be hungry or every 3-4 hours when I was awake I tried to get him to latch on and eat. Some times it was successful and sometimes it wasn't. And I was okay with that.  It's really amazing to me that with my natural tendency to desperately strive to succeed at everything and how much I hate failing, that I still had hope this would work out for me.

On a side note, I think a hospital bed is the most non-breastfeeding friendly place.  The bed doesn't allow you to sit up totally straight and it was quite honestly very hard to get Seth in the correct position to feed him even with the help of all the pillows and such.  I didn't realize how much easier it could be until I got home.

The last good thing that happened for me regarding breastfeeding at the hospital was the visit of another lactation consultant on Friday right before I left that helped me get Seth in the correct position and latched on well for a final feeding before going home.  She made it seem so easy and I actually said to myself "I can do this." There were a couple of things that needed fine tuning at that point and I was able to identify those and work more on positioning of Seth once I got home.  I also was reminded that if I massage my breast before I feed him, the milk will be closer to the surface and will take less work on his part. This became very important for my tiny lazy/chilled baby who really wasn't interested in working for anything, especially for the first week or so.

After coming home Friday I kept trying to feed him and things were going okay. My milk came in Friday night and I was quite glad it did. I then knew he was actually getting something because I would often leak when feeding him or trying to get him to latch on. He got in the habit of licking the milk off and not wanting to suck.  I called that lazy baby syndrome. Seth was just so relaxed all of the time and he didn't realize he was hungry. I started pumping, just until let down so that he wouldn't have to work as hard for the milk until he got the hang of latching on.  I think he wanted immediate gratification for his work and that doesn't happen with breastfeeding.  He had lost weight down to 6lb 3oz at the hospital and I knew he'd have another weight check on Sunday 11/18 to see if he was getting enough to eat. 

Saturday 11/17 and into Saturday night was probably the hardest time for us as far as feeding goes. At some point Saturday I knew he was so hungry, but he just wouldn't stay latched on. He would get on, suck once and then pull off crying. I couldn't figure out what was wrong except that he was pretty gassy. And we both cried together. This lasted all night long, so he didn't eat very much. I was googling things on my phone trying to figure out what could be the problem and what I could do to fix it.  I was an emotional mess, crying most of the night and just trying anything I could to get him to latch on to no avail, including gas drops and burping him. At some time in the middle of the night I found an article that said I could be too full for him to latch on so I pumped some and tried that. It didn't work.

Sunday morning I got up, helped BJ get the kids to church and then took a nap while he napped for a bit.  Then I tried to feed him.  At this point the feeding process was so unpredictable.  I never knew how long it would take him to latch on or how long he would stay on. It was quite emotionally draining. So after he finally latched on and was eating, I had to interrupt his meal to go to the hospital for a weight check. At that point he weighed 5 lb 15 oz and the nurses were concerned. So they asked that I supplement with formula. And I cried. I felt like a failure. Like I couldn't do something that should be so easy. And I cried on the way to the grocery store to buy formula. And I cried while I was checking out. That afternoon he ate some, and then proceeded to spit up all he'd just eaten, or so it seemed. And then my mom tried to feed him some formula with a bottle.  I am pretty sure he wore more than he actually ate, but we were doing what we were told to do. I was sure he was going to die and was dehydrated and would never eat (yes, thanks to my lovely hormones 4 days after giving birth). We did determine by feeding him a bottle, that he just doesn't like to continue sucking and he has to be prompted the entire time.  To see this happening with formula and not just with my milk helped me feel better and realize it was just a learning curve for him and that it wasn't me that he didn't like, but just sucking in general for his food. And my mom convinced me that the weight at the hospital was not really a good number since he'd had a horrible night just before and didn't finish his feeding before I had to leave for the hospital.  

The nurse on Sunday also wanted me to make an appointment with the pediatrician for the next few days to check on the weight before the Thanksgiving holiday. I got him in on Tuesday where the pediatrician told me he weighed 6 lbs 5 oz and was on the up swing. She also told me that I didn't need to supplement if I didn't want to (music to my ears) and that I should feed him every 2-3 hours during the day and every 4 at night. No one had told me at the hospital or otherwise how often to feed him so before this, I was kinda guessing based on how he was acting and honestly, what I felt like doing. If I was tired and he was sleeping most of the time I didn't feel like waking him up and going through the struggle of latching on to get him to eat for 2-3 minutes before falling asleep again. If I would have given up on breastfeeding, it would have been some time between day 4 and day 6 when I made it back to the pediatrician and once again felt like I could handle this.  

At that point, I fed him on demand and wasn't too worried about him eating if he was falling asleep on me. He would eat when he was hungry (according to numerous friends) and wouldn't die. So I trusted that and went on with life.  There were moments I felt like breastfeeding was my entire purpose every day, all day long. And that was frustrating.  I think one of the things I did that helped me through the first few weeks was I started feeding him downstairs with the family. At first the kids thought it was weird, especially Daniel, but they'd gotten more comfortable with it over time, so I decided to stop separating myself to feed him.  When you are struggling doing something no one but you can do and you seclude yourself, it is very easy to get depressed or to let yourself get stressed. For me, becoming part of the family again by feeding him in the living room with the kids and hubby around helped a lot. The kids learned to ignore me mostly, but I could talk to them or watch TV with the family and not feel like I was facing the struggle so much alone. I don't just feed him in the middle of the store or anything like that, but at my house, I feel comfortable feeding him in the living room (assuming there are no visitors around) and I feel more like a member of the family that way.

I'm not sure when I turned into a "professional breast feeding mom" (as my sister now calls me) but somewhere along the road (in the last week) Seth just started getting how to latch on quickly. I was ecstatic when I woke up, changed him, fed him and was back in bed in 25 minutes.  This felt like a major success compared to the 1-2 hours it originally took. It isn't a struggle and I don't need the perfect place, with the perfect position or the perfect Boppy pillow. It makes life so much easier.  I pretty much can feed him in any room or situation and he can latch on good in any circumstance. Wednesday 11/28 Seth had his 2 week check up and he is now a whopping 7 pounds. So we are on the up hill swing and I can definitely do this for another 5.5 months to reach my goal of 6 months. 

I won't deny that there were some hard days, but I definitely feel like it was worth it.  My baby boy is gaining some chunkiness and I love it.  Breastfed babies are so cute!

This post wouldn't be complete without a big thank you to BJ who has been so wonderful through this all. He gets me whatever I need when I'm feeding and is just generally there for me. Next week he goes back to work and I'm going to have to actually remember everything I need before I start feeding Seth. 

Also, my friend Shannon recommended I get the Total Baby app for my phone and I love it. It tracks feedings including a timer and which side he ate on last as well as diaper changes and sleep. It is my lifeline right now and helps me know when to expect to feed Seth again and what I can schedule in between. 

Lastly, we are on some kind of schedule I think as far as night time feedings go. He eats pretty good between 9:30 and 11 (depending on the day) and then sleeps for 5 hours, eats again and then sleeps until 7 or so.  I am loving having only one night time feeding at 17 days old. It isn't always consistent, but for the most part we are making this work. 

He's Here!

Unless you have been living under a rock somewhere or are not a facebook friend or don't keep up with our family via facebook or other means, you probably know by now that God blessed us with Seth Edward Fowler on November 14, 2012 at 1:02.  He was 19.5 inches long and weighed 6 lbs 10.

4 ounces at birth. 

I am going to try and retell his birth story as best as I can remember.  It's really interesting how you dream of the day you give birth and when it is all said and done, the details don't really matter as much and a lot is forgotten.

We were scheduled to be induced at 4:30 that morning.  We arrived at the hospital on time to find that my inlaws were already there.  That kinda surprised me especially since what I've heard about inductions is that it can take a while and I didn't expect much to happen until at least late morning. Not a problem at all, I just didn't expect to see anyone else for a few hours.

We got checked in and I changed into the hospital gown. The nurses came in to get my IV going. As soon as I said I had good veins the nurse told me I shouldn't have said that.  Sure enough, it took three tries to get the IV going.  And in the middle of that I started over thinking things and passed out. I guess I was looking pale and the nurse asked me if I was okay.  I said "yes" shortly followed by "not really."  If you know me at all, this is not an uncommon occurrence.  I've probably passed out 20 times over the years, usually over blood and guts kind of things. I just gross myself out I guess. Anyways, once I got the blood back in my head the external monitors they had for Seth told them that he wasn't recovering like they wanted him too.  His heart beat had gone down into the 60s after I passed out and just wasn't coming back up very fast.  Before I knew it I had about 5 nurses in my room moving me from side to side, lowering the head of the bed and anything else they could do to get Seth's heart rate back up.  They didn't seem panicked so it didn't worry me at all.  Looking back, I should have been worried, and it must have been the peace of God that carried me through those few minutes.

After the scare with Seth's heart-rate, they waited an hour or so before starting the Pitocin.  They wanted to make sure he was going to behave before they increased the contractions.  And he did. Pitocin was started about 6 am and Dr. Wiegman broke my waters at about 8.  My goal going in was to not get an epidural.  Both my mom and sister had really quick labor and so I figured I could do the same.  But I hadn't totally ruled it out based on how hard it was for me.  At about 10, I had been having contractions every 2-3 minutes that lasted a minute or so for and hour and a half.  And I just couldn't get comfortable in the bed.  I had an audience at that point (mom, inlaws, Shay) and really wasn't comfortable getting out of the bed in a hospital gown, so I endured back labor in the bed. And Seth's heart rate was being temperamental all morning.  Every time I would try to move to a different side, they would either lose his heart rate on the monitors or his heart rate would drop and the nurses would run in to make sure he was fine. So for all purposes I was stuck in the bed in one position that wasn't particularly comfortable through contractions.  We decided to kick everyone out of the room and see if I could get in a comfortable position that would help me endure the contractions, but it just wasn't happening. I was told that if I wanted an epidural I needed to decide since the anesthesiologist was going to be tied up at 12:30 for a C Section.  I thought I was only dilated to 4-5 centimeter at that point (BJ thinks it was 5-6) and I couldn't even imagine another 6 hours of this just to get to the point I could push. So I bit the bullet and got the epidural. They upped the Pitocin at the same time I was getting the epidural so I had to endure 3-4 contractions that were more intense than the others while trying to remain still so they could give me the epidural.  I remember being mad through 2-3 contractions because I could still feel them until the medicine kicked in.  But after that, it was smooth sailing. I really didn't care about anything at that point. Everyone came back in the room and we visited for an hour or so. They were able to up the medication more quickly since I wasn't feeling a thing and I dilated quite quickly.  At 12:30, everyone was kicked out again and the nurse checked me and said we were ready to push. I pushed for a while with the nurse and Dr. Wiegman came in shortly after. Seth was born at 1:02 pm.  So all in all I was in labor for about 7 hours.  Not bad at all, especially after the epidural. I was totally numb through the pushing and being stitched up afterwards. I had an episiotomy and tore some additionally.

We came home on Friday and have been doing really well since then. I only had pain meds twice at the hospital and then nothing since I've been home. Overall I would say it was a pretty easy delivery and recovery and things are going as good as can be expected. And the best part is that my doctor gave me very limited restrictions, which I think has helped me to heal faster. He told me I could exercise, as long as I take it easy, and I could drive as long as I wasn't taking pain meds that caused me to be drowsy. So I got to be back to normal me (whatever that is with 4 kids) and not be stuck at home or restricted.  I don't get out much, but I can and it makes a difference mentally.

I have lost all but 4-5 pounds of my baby weight.  Most of that was baby and water weight. I've also been told that breastfeeding is helping with that as well. It is so nice to be in my non-pregnancy clothes already (especially since most of my maternity clothes were for work and not really lounging at the house).

The kids are doing great and are in love with Seth. They want to hold him and hug him and kiss him all the time.  We've had a few colds going around, so I am trying to be really careful with them touching him so he doesn't get sick. Ok, for some more hospital pics (the real reason you read the blog anyway, right?)

Checking in

We got to the hospital at 4:30 this morning, got Pitocin going around 6 and just had my water broken by Dr. Wiegman. Should start progressing more now. I am currently at a 3, 60% effaced and -2 station. They upped my Pitocin too. I will try and keep you updated as the day goes on.