Be a leader, not a Follower

As a parent, you go through each day, imparting words of wisdom to your kids (or lecturing depending on your perspective) hoping, praying they will take hold of some nugget of truth and run with it.

I don't really know when my morning peptalk turned from "please make good choices" and "can we make it through one day without a phone call?" to "be a leader, not a follower," but that one phrase seems to be sinking in. I didn't really know I changed my tune, but now that I'm seeing some changes, I know it was a God thing. The girls were even telling their horses on Saturday to be leaders and not followers by not taking a snack break when they were supposed to be walking. I guess that's when I realized they have been listening.

Unfortunately our public schools are filled with kids who follow the crowd and not in a positive way and my kids are struggling to find their way (obviously some schools more than others). I'm not sure when doing the right thing made you the minority, but that is what I see as a parent. It's disappointing at best.

On that same note, we are applying to get the kids in a public charter school next year where there will hopefully be less negative influences and more positive. The one we are looking at was founded by a SAGU former professor and has some SAGU alumni in their administration and faculty. I really feel like this is where my kids need to be, so I'm praying for favor in the application process and for available space in each of their grades. God knows where they need to be, so I trust him to make a way if this is it.

Awakens

Your love is greater, your love is stronger, your love awakens awakens awakens me. ~Phil Wickham

Ever been asleep spiritually? Feel like your life is on pause? In a rut? Stuck? I'm sure we all have at some time in our lives.

Well God wants you awake, alive, and not just coasting through life as it comes at you.

Because although sleeping people aren't dead, they aren't productive or successful either.

I fully understand that being asleep is easier than dealing with the devil and fighting when he attacks. I also know for those same reasons the devil wants us to be asleep as long as possible. We have to resist the urge to just barely get by spiritually.

God wants you, needs you, awake and alive so his purposes can be fulfilled on earth as it is in heaven.

So He sends his love to wake you up. Not His condemnation or judgement because he's seen us sleeping when we should have been awake, but His love.

And honesty, our time to live awake and make an impact for the kingdom is now! No more sleeping! Time to rise and shine!

Rainy Mornings

I'm laying here in my bed listening to the rain hit my windows. I just love the rain. It makes me want to stay inside with a good book or take a long nap. Something about the rain brings peace and refreshing to my soul. It encourages me to slow down the busyness of life and just enjoy being still for a little while.

And the rain brings with it changes. A change of weather or atmosphere. A cleaning out of the old and growth of the new.

We are in the midst of some changes ourselves around here. We are in the process of applying for the kids to attend a public charter school in the fall. The idea of this specific charter has come up a few times recently from different people, so we decided to go for it and pray for God to open doors if this is where they need to be. I'm trying to get them somewhere where they can be more successful and school will not be such a struggle for them.  I think they'll each benefit from a different atmosphere, smaller class size, and different set of peers. They each struggle in different ways, so if we can get in and if it helps one of them, it will be worth it. Besides, if it doesn't work out, they can always go back to public school. I figure it can't hurt to try and am praying God will lead us in this.

I am not someone who enjoys change, so when I want to explore change for them, you know God must be working. Ha!

Right now, I just am ready for the summer. The kids are going to spend some time at Mathnasium this summer to help them gain some confidence in math and solidify some math concepts before the new school year begins. I'm doing that instead of daycare for a month.

Whatever changes come with the new school year (whether the normal new year changes or a totally new school system) I know God will be with us and them as we navigate whatever God has for us.

Forfeit

Forfeit - the act of giving up, usually motivated by ones belief in the impossibility of winning under the current circumstances.

Today I have had the hymn "What a Friend We Have in Jesus" running through my head. Mainly the line that says oh, what peace we often forfeit...all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

How often do we voluntarily give up our peace as a result of the circumstances we find ourselves in? Jesus promised us his peace in the middle of the troubles of this world and yet, often we expect our peace to come from outside of us rather than from within, where the peace giver lives. And so our circumstances dictate our ability to have peace.

This is not what Jesus intended. He promised that we would have troubles in this world and that he would be our peace in the storm.

If I'm being quite honest, the circumstances I am dealing with right now are not pleasant. At all. But I am choosing to have peace. Because Jesus has promised to provide it.

Mother's Day Musings

I remember what it was like to want to be a mom and be childless. I remember being honored at church as a "spiritual mom" to many when I had no children of my own. And although it was a nice idea to not leave anyone out, being the one woman honored without any kids of her own seemed to draw attention to my lack.

And I cried and prayed and acted like it didn't bother me (all in the cycle of emotions at different times.) I tried to stay busy and distracted. Often times, I really was okay, finding my firm footing on the Rock of Jesus and was able to stand, for a little while, until another month would roll by or another person (with totally good intentions) would give advice on how to get pregnant.

All that to say I have been there. I do understand what that is like. And I am so grateful for one of the hardest times in my life, because God had to teach me to trust him. I have definitely not arrived now, nor am I perfect at trusting him, but I do know God knows what he is doing, especially when he won't indulge me with the details I long for.

And then all of the sudden (which didn't seem so suddenly until it happened) I am a mother of 5 great kids. (How did 4.5 years fly by so fast?) And I am a mother in the trenches in every sense of the word. It is not always fun, but I am careful to not forget where I came from. What I endured to get here. That God brought me to this place. And that even on the toughest days, these kids are a blessing, all of them, and God uses them to teach me so many things about myself and his plan (mainly things I don't want to admit I tend to do wrong).

God knew. He always knows how things will turn out.

And he still knows how things will turn out. I still have a lot of questions about my kids. As a mom, I want to do what is best for them, and honestly, I don't know what that is most of the time. We struggle together and with God's grace His plans will come to fulfillment in their lives. In my life. In our family.