The Big Three Four

Another year has come and gone for me. At this point in life, birthdays really aren't a big deal and the celebration is minimal (even though Seth really wanted us to wear party hats). And a new year gives me reason to reflect and I've come to one conclusion: I am really happy and I'm in a really good place right now.

My part time job is really allowing me to be the mom I want to be. I am able to cook dinner most days and just feel more in charge of my evening and time with my family rather than the evening being so stressful and running away from me and causing my organized, perfectionist self feel like a failure. Oh, it is far from perfect and I still overreact and gripe about silly things, but I'm actually enjoying being a mom and wife.

Julia is at a pretty good stage right now, sleeping through the night and is generally more easy going than Seth was at this age. She also is more mobile, which makes life an adventure, but she is also able to go where she wants and I think that makes her generally happier and less frustrated.

It's summer time, which also is nice, since I don't have to try and manage homework times three right now. Each year, the kids are learning to be more in charge of their homework and although I still have to be hands on which each of them, I'm hoping for a little more independence and personal responsibility from them this year. But for the next 2.5 weeks, home life is nice.

Seth is potty trained (except for night time) so that is also so nice. Granted he has accidents from time to time, the stressful part of that process is over for now.

I am weeks away from Julia's introduction to cows milk and the end of my pumping breastmilk at work and I am so excited. Nursing is so much easier when my work day isn't controlled so much by the clock and whether I need to pump again.

This summer my older kids stayed home a couple of days a week, which allowed them to gain some independence and responsibility. It also makes going into a school year with three different schools a whole lot less stressful. The girls are going to bus home from school which will give me some more leeway with my work hours since I feel like I can trust them at home alone.

Spiritually speaking, I feel like I'm kinda in a holding pattern. And that's okay. I was feeling really frustrated earlier this week with things I'm seeing and just what's going on in my life and God spoke very clearly to me. I need to keep my eyes on God, and not what's going on, and get myself ready so that when opportunities I've been praying for open up, I will be ready. I thought, yeah, I can do that. It's so easy to loose focus or start the comparison game and neither one of those things are good for me. I don't know why I let others bother me. Guess the devil just knows where to tempt me. So for now, I will focus on God and letting him lead my steps. He is faithful and he will take care of me if I keep spending time with him.

Love is good because God is good!