Let me start by saying my ideal world, life, work environment is pretty clean, organized, structured. I like things to have a clear beginning and end and work in boxes pretty well. As a women, who I'm told is more like spaghetti than waffles, I know that there are many parts of my life that connect to others, but it is definitely my preference for each thing to stay in its box, within the rules, organized and put together with a pretty bow. And within my little world, where my social circle is my church and my clientele is mostly ministers, that works pretty well for me. I'm able to thrive and do well in those circles. It's my safe place and it is pretty clean.
When I first starting feeling led to speak/preach/teach more I questioned my sphere of influence/who God wanted me to minister to and I was convinced that I was called to encourage Christians through sharing my experiences and the things God's shown me in his word. That too, was pretty squeaky clean and easy. Although it was a little nerve-wracking at first, I quickly found my groove and felt like I was being pretty effective where God had given me opportunity and influence.
But lately, in the past year, God has very clearly messed that all up. :) I've been challenged by God to see past myself and my safe space and really ask God to use me how he wanted to and not how I thought was easiest and cleanest. And he's opened my eyes and given opportunities I never would have had or sought out before. Opportunities to show grace in uncomfortable situations. To be a listening ear and not judge or condemn but just show God's love. To pray God's promises for someone else, going through struggles I have never had to deal with personally, and to bear those burdens as if they are my own until God shows up.
So I'm learning to pursue people like God pursues them. To be available and inconvenienced for the sake of the Gospel. It's messy. A bit chaotic at times. And it pushes me to be more like Christ. Like Christians should be. Not stuck in our happy circles but actually reaching out to people who are not like us and who we wouldn't normally befriend and becoming Jesus for them. Please don't misunderstand me to say I am on some "holier than thou" mission to add another trophy or medal to my wall. I'm learning to love in a totally different way than I'm used to. I know that people are God's heart so we have to be willing to get messy, to do things that don't make sense. Many times we fail to love without limit because we see our primary job as protecting the holy reputation of God. We forget that God has called us to love recklessly, like he loves us, without condition and qualifications. Before things are neat and pretty with a bow.
I firmly believe that God loves us all too much to leave us in our messes, but God will never get the opportunity to draw people to himself, to make them more like Jesus, if we don't learn to show messy grace. To love before they fit into our bubble and meet our expectations. A church full of people who are all the same is not reaching anyone. Actually, that probably means they are dying and have forgotten that "it's not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick."
So I guess it's time to get messy and learn to love and show grace to those around us like God has done for us.
No comments:
Post a Comment