No Time Like the Present

Let me start with a huge disclaimer: I am a planner by nature. I look ahead and prepare for what I think will or could happen, so living in the moment is not what I do naturally.

But I feel God saying to me: Go! Do! Be! And don't wait until the time is perfect, because you will always find a reason today isn't the day and later will be better. And while you are reasoning away opportunities, life will pass you by. And all you'll have is a bunch of "shoulda" "coulda" "woulda"s.

Unless later is defined, it quickly turns into never. Because life is busy and time flies. If your actions aren't intentional, you are left with a life of reaction, where your life is made of ripples, created by the waves others are making around you. And you never find that time to do what you were created for, to step up and be the catalyst that controls your life movement  (as much as we control whether we are living according to God's will and he chooses to use us in his plan.)

So don't wait until tomorrow! Choose to obey, move, go today and see if God won't honor your obedience.

Joyful Obedience.

Psalm 119:1-2 Joyful are people...who follow the instruction if the Lord. Joyful are those who obey his laws.

A big part of our human nature is the desire to do things our way. Even from a young age, we are unhappy when we have to share a toy or do anything anyone wants us to do that is different than what we would choose. 

So how can obedience to instruction given by someone else or laws written by another makes us joyful people?

Because God's way is better and brings blessings when our way, at its best, is futile. And it takes some maturity to realize that someone, anyone else could possible know what is better for us than us.

I also think that obeying God brings joy the way a child is carefree and joyful. When we obey and trust someone else to handle it, we live by faith, without stress and worry, without the burden of making things turn out as they should. Kids don't worry about if the bills are paid, parents do. Kids don't worry about having and keeping a job to provide for the family, parents do. In the same way, giving up our control, as hard as that is, and really trusting that God will handle it all if we will just trust him enough to obey him when he speaks brings joy.

Oh for grace to trust him more.

Celebrate Freedom

I am so thankful to live in America and Texas (aka the "Bible belt"). I am aware that our freedoms were purchased with many lives and words can never express my gratitude to those persons who gave their lives and families who gave their loved ones so that I could be free to choose Jesus and free to worship and free from the control of other countries who do not value personal freedoms.

But I am also celebrating freedom in Christ today. I don't have to be controlled by sin any longer because I have accepted his sacrifice, the price Jesus paid with his blood for my sins. I don't have to live in fear of death or hell as my sins were paid for and heaven is my eternal home. I am thankful for my relationship with Jesus which gains me access to the very throne room of heaven where I can communicate with God and he speaks to me. I am thankful that I am not bound by a sacred religion that requires perfection from me but am free because of the grace and mercy of Jesus. And I refuse to take that mercy for granted. Jesus is the lover of my soul and I am so grateful he loved me first. Even when I am at my worst, when I am unloveable from all human standards, he loves me and accepts me. And he has given me a freedom in life to serve him that surpasses anything words can even begin to depict.

And if the Son sets you free, you are free indeed. John 8:36

Accomplished

The first night without the baby monitor was unsuccessful. I was still up every 4 hours because the silly monitor vibrated each time she moved. In the middle of the night in my sleep deprived state was not the time to try and figure out the stupid vibration setting so I just endured.  The next night before bed I turned off the vibration and have been sleeping all night since. I honestly don't know if Julia is sleeping all night but I do know I'm not feeding her in the middle of the night so I feel accomplished. Sleep has been heavenly!

I don't know if it just took one night for her to figure it out, but at the same time she has finished teething for now and has 4 pearly whites to prove it. She is happier and sleeping and eating better and so am I (sleeping not eating).

Although I do tend to celebrate my successes and ignore my failures as a parent(who doesn't), my parenting and children are far from perfect. People tell me that I look like I've got it all together. I have so got y'all fooled. By the grace of God we survive. Yes, I stress about silly things and overreact and make threats I can't fulfill. Yes I am learning everyday and choosing which battles to fight and which to ignore.  I too have read those blogs that make everything seem perfect and make me feel like a failure as a parent. Don't let this blog be one of them.

Day by day, step by step, we as parents do what we think is right for our kids. We win some, we lose some. This is the life of a parent. The life God has blessed us with.

And today I feel accomplished.

Accomplished

The first night without the baby monitor was unsuccessful. I was still up every 4 hours because the silly monitor vibrated each time she moved. In the middle of the night in my sleep deprived state was not the time to try and figure out the stupid vibration setting so I just endured.  The next night before bed I turned off the vibration and have been sleeping all night since. I honestly don't know if Julia is sleeping all night but I do know I'm not feeding her in the middle of the night so I feel accomplished. Sleep has been heavenly!

I don't know if it just took one night for her to figure it out, but at the same time she has finished teething for now and has 4 pearly whites to prove it. She is happier and sleeping and eating better and so am I (sleeping not eating).

Although I do tend to celebrate my successes and ignore my failures as a parent(who doesn't), my parenting and children are far from perfect. People tell me that I look like I've got it all together. I have so got y'all fooled. By the grace of God we survive. Yes, I stress about silly things and overreact and make threats I can't fulfill. Yes I am learning everyday and choosing which battles to fight and which to ignore.  I too have read those blogs that make everything seem perfect and make me feel like a failure as a parent. Don't let this blog be one of them.

Day by day, step by step, we as parents do what we think is right for our kids. We win some, we lose some. This is the life of a parent. The life God has blessed us with.

And today I feel accomplished.

Adoption - 4 Years Later

I saw a Wednesday's child clip this week about a sibling group of 3 boys who are looking for a kind family to adopt them together. They talked about how happy they would be to be able to stay together and they just need someone to love them.

For a split second I felt like adopting them all. I actually cried. And then I realized I already have. Oh, the TV clips are so deceiving and so easily allow you to idealize what it will be like to bring three new kids into your family. How nice and polite they will be and how sweet they will respond to you, even when they have to be disciplined. (ha!) But you have to remember, you are still choosing to be a parent, and parenting is not all sunshine and roses. For any parent.

It is so easy to lose perspective. We are coming up on 4 years since the finalization of the adoption of our three kiddos.  I forgot how I initially felt when we saw my kids' pictures (both times). How my heart hurt for the things they had to endure and how I wanted so badly to come rescue them and love them the way they deserved to be loved.  I forgot about the excitement of being chosen to be their parents.  The way Katelynn stayed close by my side during the visits and wanted me to carry her. She was the most shy and scared initially. Daniel and Haley were trying to impress us with their toys and skills. How they openly showed they needed us with constant hugs and thank you's. They wanted us to parent them, to pick them (for lack of a better term). And we wanted a family.

And God chose to put us all together.

Oh, I'm so grateful for his divine plan. For giving me a family and giving them a home. It's so easy to get stuck in the yuck of life and forget that there is a purpose. That God put them here. That he gave them to us. The most precious gifts. And I love them so much! Even when they don't want to obey and don't run to me with thank yous and gratitude. I still love them and need them and want them.

Adoption is not for the faint of heart, but it definitely gives you a glimpse of how our heavenly father feels about us. We were each adopted into his family. Now, sometimes, we act like spoiled rotten children and want to do things our own way, but he still chose us, knowing there would be days like that. Desiring to provide for us as only he can (even if we won't let him). So today I choose to feel grateful. For the adoption of my physical children into my family and our adoption into God's family.

Friend, you are loved and cherished and wanted!

 

Off the Grid

Tonight I am turning off the baby monitor and going to sleep. Last night I went to bed in time to get 8 hours of sleep and was woken up 4 times by Julia. She didn't eat every time, but she would fuss and I'd get up to put her pacifier back in and go back to bed.

Between teething and me being inconsistent with evening feedings, although she generally goes 4 hours between feedings at night, I am getting up twice to feed her usually.  And there is just no reason for that. I actually went back to look and see when I started sleeping without a baby monitor for Seth and I can't find it. I was reassured to know his crazy sleeping and eating schedule was in full force at about this age too. Since it's summer time and I'm not as concerned about the kids sleep as during school (sorry guys) now is as good as time as any for Julia to figure out how to put herself back to sleep when she wakes up and it isn't time to eat, or maybe even to stretch out her eating at night. And if she is hungry she will make sure I know it and I'll wake up anyways.

Reading back in old blog posts about Seth, I was glad to note that in general Julia's sleeping is going better than Seth did. At some point he starting sleeping with us for part of the night when he was sick. I think Julia has only also with us for one night ever, so that's improvement. I guess I'm not as much of a push over as I thought. Seth was also super clingy to me at this age and teething at this age.

Speaking of teething, Julia's third tooth came in and the fourth will soon follow.

I have been kinda hard on myself for not blogging as much lately, but I've decided that's okay. Instead of blogging about my life with my great family, I am living it and am proud of myself for that. I wouldn't mind having some more things documented, but catching up is a killer. Maybe I'll blog some in the next week or maybe not. I am determined to scrapbook our upcoming vacation (with the girls help if they want to) before the end of the summer. I can go back and catch up later, but really want to keep the current stuff done within a reasonable time afterward.

Oh and Julia is 17lbs7oz and 27 inches long at about 9.5 months old. She wears size 9-12 months so she is right on size. She loves pulling up on things and chooses to move around by scooting on her bottom rather than crawling. She also puts everything in her mouth. These two things combined make me have to baby proof my house more and keep my eyes on her. She is the sweetest smiliest little girl and brings us so much joy!