First

Been disconnected from the Facebook world for a few weeks and it's been really nice. It's like the background roar has finally dulled and I can hear clearly again. I've chosen to give up Facebook for lent and really may decide this is a long term thing. Not giving it up completely, but for sure limiting it for me. There is nothing wrong with Facebook or other social media but I've definitely learned a few things while I've stepped away:

Our lives are busy but at least for me the chaos is not from the busyness but from the lack of stillness. Facebook for me was a big time waster. We are in this time where everyone has to be connected to everyone and we don't know how to just be. Every spare second we are on whatever social media checking to see what everyone is up to. Not a bad thing at all, but when you get used to the constant roar, you forget how to be still and listen. Obviously I can only speak for me, but the silence has been amazing. Allowing myself to just be has been very refreshing. Energizing almost.

I've missed somethings, like the initial news about the school shooting a few weeks ago. Had to ask BJ why the flags were at half mast. I had no idea. But I've also missed the drama. I don't need to know what everyone is doing at all times, who their arguing with or their opinion on everything. My mind has been able to be quiet, my soul feels relaxed and not rushed and it has allowed me to hear God more clearly. I have a natural tendency to compare, to critique, to have an opinion about everything. I don't normally share my opinion, but it can frustrate me especially when I feel like people are making poor decisions or are being irresponsible. Missing others opinions has been nice. Not that I want to be ignorant of the world, but let's face it: Facebook has become a venting zone. Not everyone obviously, but I like to fix things, so knowing there's an issue stirs me up, wanting to comment back or be the solution to the problem. And it's just not healthy for me.

I've also started journaling without restrictions. I know you'll think this is silly, but it is quite natural for me to compartmentalize things, especially my thoughts. To edit how I say/write what I think so that is sounds pretty. So my thoughts have been split into multiple places. Some things I've shared on facebook, some I've blogged about, some I've written down for personal consumption. Now that I'm putting all of that in one place, without real format or structure, it has been actually quite freeing.

Okay. Now that I've caught up, onto what I wanted to really share.

I have a new favorite song. It's not a new song, but still what's been going on in my heart for a week of so...

"Spirit of the Living God, Spirit of the Living God. We're leaning in to all you are. Everything else can wait."

And it challenged me. Is my life really showing God that everything else, my worries about life and family and kids, concerns about work and church is second to him? Everything else can wait. That He is really first. I know we say God is first, but is He? Or do I get distracted checking facebook status' responses when I am in the middle of prayer or reading my Bible? Or church? Am I listening intently because my heart of hearts wants to know Him more? Or do I waste time in front of the TV every evening until I fall asleep on the couch but am too tired to get up to pray when he asks me?

"Cause when you speak, when you move, when you do what only you can do it changes us, it change what we see and what we seek."

Do we want to be changed to see things as he does or are we quite happy? Content with how things are?

What are we seeking? Do we look for His approval or are we waiting for the people around us to pat us on the back and tell us "well done." If we get it from them, we won't get it from Him. That's what Scripture says. I want to be pleasing in his sight. I want Him to know He can depend on me and trust me to obey Him when he speaks and not be in a wind-tunnel, filled with noise and not hearing what he's saying.

So for now, the distractions are at least lessened (they never really go away all the way in this life) and I am able to focus on what He wants me to focus on and do what He wants me to do.

Your Kingdom come your will be done.