School Days

This summer has been a little different than others. We decided to leave the three older kids home alone a few days a week instead of doing daycare. We signed them up for the summer program at Mathnasium which is a drop in program for up to 1 hour per day where they could work on math. Haley did a few months at Mathnasium before, so I knew we really loved the program. Daniel was hesitant at first, but they all were glad we did it and want to go back next summer.

Leaving them at home has required them to mature a little and learn how to resolve conflict on their own. We got phone calls some days, but mostly they did pretty well. The stay at home option was also very low stress on me as I didn't even wake them up on those days and was able to get the littles up and ready pretty quickly without the normal morning conflicts. It also proved that they can stay at home while we run errands or whatever. I always take the littles with me as I'm not comfortable leaving the babies with the bigger kids yet.

This summer we were in limbo, waiting for space to open at the charge school we applied for. None of the kids got in over the summer, so we are in public school until space becomes available.

This year, Haley is riding the bus to and from school. She has to get herself on the bus after we leave and then catch the bus after school. She has been so responsible and is usually early waiting for the bus. She has also been responsible, doing her homework without me hounding her about it, asking for help and really trying to understand when we are helping her. At the middle school level, the babysitting is over and I feel like she really likes being in control of her own work. Obviously, she was in control before, but somehow when people have tried to help in the past she resisted and then would over rely on them instead of taking ownership and doing what was needed to be successful. I am seeing such a change in her. I know we are only one week in, but it is definitely improvement from before. Yesterday, we took the big kids to the eye doctor and Haley is getting glasses to help her astigmatism. Hopefully that makes school easier for her too.

Daniel is doing okay. He always pumps himself up and then is disappointed when school is school. He did say that he loves being a 6th grader, which is the top grade at his school, rather than a "little 5th grader". Choir, the elective he chose, has some of the trouble makers in it, so he doesn't like that. He also doesn't like singing in Latin, but I'm sure that's normal at this age.

Katelynn is riding the bus home from school with her BFF. This is the first year she hasn't been in class with her, so I'm glad they get to ride the bus home together. She has done pretty well with school and doing her homework. I think she likes her teacher and will have a good year.

Julia turns 1 tomorrow. How did that happen? She is sleeping through the night, has 7 teeth and just started walking in the last few days. I'll update more about her after her one year checkup on Sept 1st.

Seth went to the dentist this morning and has 2 cavities he needs fillings for. Poor boy! We are gonna try to get the fillings with only laughing gas and not sedation. Please pray for him and me that everything will go well. His appointment is on October 3rd. This mama is pretty nervous for him (and me). I cried this morning when they told me, so yeah I'm definitely gonna need God to give me strength.

Alright, there is kinda an update for now. It's been a while. I hope to blog more, but it really depends on how life goes. It's busy and there are things I have to do for me and everyone depending on me, so sometimes the blog has to wait.

And God's been showing and teaching me some precious things I just need to savor for now without jumping on the blog to share. When God releases me, I'll share some more.

I do know that God wants to be nearer to his people than ever before, so seek him and he will speak to you, reveal his heart to you, and you will be amazed by his great love.

The Big Three Four

Another year has come and gone for me. At this point in life, birthdays really aren't a big deal and the celebration is minimal (even though Seth really wanted us to wear party hats). And a new year gives me reason to reflect and I've come to one conclusion: I am really happy and I'm in a really good place right now.

My part time job is really allowing me to be the mom I want to be. I am able to cook dinner most days and just feel more in charge of my evening and time with my family rather than the evening being so stressful and running away from me and causing my organized, perfectionist self feel like a failure. Oh, it is far from perfect and I still overreact and gripe about silly things, but I'm actually enjoying being a mom and wife.

Julia is at a pretty good stage right now, sleeping through the night and is generally more easy going than Seth was at this age. She also is more mobile, which makes life an adventure, but she is also able to go where she wants and I think that makes her generally happier and less frustrated.

It's summer time, which also is nice, since I don't have to try and manage homework times three right now. Each year, the kids are learning to be more in charge of their homework and although I still have to be hands on which each of them, I'm hoping for a little more independence and personal responsibility from them this year. But for the next 2.5 weeks, home life is nice.

Seth is potty trained (except for night time) so that is also so nice. Granted he has accidents from time to time, the stressful part of that process is over for now.

I am weeks away from Julia's introduction to cows milk and the end of my pumping breastmilk at work and I am so excited. Nursing is so much easier when my work day isn't controlled so much by the clock and whether I need to pump again.

This summer my older kids stayed home a couple of days a week, which allowed them to gain some independence and responsibility. It also makes going into a school year with three different schools a whole lot less stressful. The girls are going to bus home from school which will give me some more leeway with my work hours since I feel like I can trust them at home alone.

Spiritually speaking, I feel like I'm kinda in a holding pattern. And that's okay. I was feeling really frustrated earlier this week with things I'm seeing and just what's going on in my life and God spoke very clearly to me. I need to keep my eyes on God, and not what's going on, and get myself ready so that when opportunities I've been praying for open up, I will be ready. I thought, yeah, I can do that. It's so easy to loose focus or start the comparison game and neither one of those things are good for me. I don't know why I let others bother me. Guess the devil just knows where to tempt me. So for now, I will focus on God and letting him lead my steps. He is faithful and he will take care of me if I keep spending time with him.

Love is good because God is good!

No Time Like the Present

Let me start with a huge disclaimer: I am a planner by nature. I look ahead and prepare for what I think will or could happen, so living in the moment is not what I do naturally.

But I feel God saying to me: Go! Do! Be! And don't wait until the time is perfect, because you will always find a reason today isn't the day and later will be better. And while you are reasoning away opportunities, life will pass you by. And all you'll have is a bunch of "shoulda" "coulda" "woulda"s.

Unless later is defined, it quickly turns into never. Because life is busy and time flies. If your actions aren't intentional, you are left with a life of reaction, where your life is made of ripples, created by the waves others are making around you. And you never find that time to do what you were created for, to step up and be the catalyst that controls your life movement  (as much as we control whether we are living according to God's will and he chooses to use us in his plan.)

So don't wait until tomorrow! Choose to obey, move, go today and see if God won't honor your obedience.

Joyful Obedience.

Psalm 119:1-2 Joyful are people...who follow the instruction if the Lord. Joyful are those who obey his laws.

A big part of our human nature is the desire to do things our way. Even from a young age, we are unhappy when we have to share a toy or do anything anyone wants us to do that is different than what we would choose. 

So how can obedience to instruction given by someone else or laws written by another makes us joyful people?

Because God's way is better and brings blessings when our way, at its best, is futile. And it takes some maturity to realize that someone, anyone else could possible know what is better for us than us.

I also think that obeying God brings joy the way a child is carefree and joyful. When we obey and trust someone else to handle it, we live by faith, without stress and worry, without the burden of making things turn out as they should. Kids don't worry about if the bills are paid, parents do. Kids don't worry about having and keeping a job to provide for the family, parents do. In the same way, giving up our control, as hard as that is, and really trusting that God will handle it all if we will just trust him enough to obey him when he speaks brings joy.

Oh for grace to trust him more.

Celebrate Freedom

I am so thankful to live in America and Texas (aka the "Bible belt"). I am aware that our freedoms were purchased with many lives and words can never express my gratitude to those persons who gave their lives and families who gave their loved ones so that I could be free to choose Jesus and free to worship and free from the control of other countries who do not value personal freedoms.

But I am also celebrating freedom in Christ today. I don't have to be controlled by sin any longer because I have accepted his sacrifice, the price Jesus paid with his blood for my sins. I don't have to live in fear of death or hell as my sins were paid for and heaven is my eternal home. I am thankful for my relationship with Jesus which gains me access to the very throne room of heaven where I can communicate with God and he speaks to me. I am thankful that I am not bound by a sacred religion that requires perfection from me but am free because of the grace and mercy of Jesus. And I refuse to take that mercy for granted. Jesus is the lover of my soul and I am so grateful he loved me first. Even when I am at my worst, when I am unloveable from all human standards, he loves me and accepts me. And he has given me a freedom in life to serve him that surpasses anything words can even begin to depict.

And if the Son sets you free, you are free indeed. John 8:36

Accomplished

The first night without the baby monitor was unsuccessful. I was still up every 4 hours because the silly monitor vibrated each time she moved. In the middle of the night in my sleep deprived state was not the time to try and figure out the stupid vibration setting so I just endured.  The next night before bed I turned off the vibration and have been sleeping all night since. I honestly don't know if Julia is sleeping all night but I do know I'm not feeding her in the middle of the night so I feel accomplished. Sleep has been heavenly!

I don't know if it just took one night for her to figure it out, but at the same time she has finished teething for now and has 4 pearly whites to prove it. She is happier and sleeping and eating better and so am I (sleeping not eating).

Although I do tend to celebrate my successes and ignore my failures as a parent(who doesn't), my parenting and children are far from perfect. People tell me that I look like I've got it all together. I have so got y'all fooled. By the grace of God we survive. Yes, I stress about silly things and overreact and make threats I can't fulfill. Yes I am learning everyday and choosing which battles to fight and which to ignore.  I too have read those blogs that make everything seem perfect and make me feel like a failure as a parent. Don't let this blog be one of them.

Day by day, step by step, we as parents do what we think is right for our kids. We win some, we lose some. This is the life of a parent. The life God has blessed us with.

And today I feel accomplished.

Accomplished

The first night without the baby monitor was unsuccessful. I was still up every 4 hours because the silly monitor vibrated each time she moved. In the middle of the night in my sleep deprived state was not the time to try and figure out the stupid vibration setting so I just endured.  The next night before bed I turned off the vibration and have been sleeping all night since. I honestly don't know if Julia is sleeping all night but I do know I'm not feeding her in the middle of the night so I feel accomplished. Sleep has been heavenly!

I don't know if it just took one night for her to figure it out, but at the same time she has finished teething for now and has 4 pearly whites to prove it. She is happier and sleeping and eating better and so am I (sleeping not eating).

Although I do tend to celebrate my successes and ignore my failures as a parent(who doesn't), my parenting and children are far from perfect. People tell me that I look like I've got it all together. I have so got y'all fooled. By the grace of God we survive. Yes, I stress about silly things and overreact and make threats I can't fulfill. Yes I am learning everyday and choosing which battles to fight and which to ignore.  I too have read those blogs that make everything seem perfect and make me feel like a failure as a parent. Don't let this blog be one of them.

Day by day, step by step, we as parents do what we think is right for our kids. We win some, we lose some. This is the life of a parent. The life God has blessed us with.

And today I feel accomplished.