Coincidence or Not

I don't know what you believe, but I don't believe in luck or coincidence. When things happen that seem unlikely, I call that God's hand and God's favor and not being lucky. Because God knows exactly what is going to happen in my life way before I do.

Psalm 139:16 All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

On Monday we got what we perceived as devastating news. My heart was broken. Yes, I chose to trust God through the tears and confusion, but the circumstances looked bleak at best. And the tears kept coming for the better part of the evening and into Tuesday and whenever someone asked what was wrong. (On a side note, doesn't that just make you cry again? Maybe sometimes its good not to ask even if you do care. Just a thought.) So we kept on praying as did a ton of other people. God wasn't surprised even though we were. We chose to trust when it didn't look good and on Friday, the situation changed and God reminded us once again that he is in control. (Right, Heather?) It never changed, but God was letting us realize no matter how great our intentions and plans, we are not God and we can't change a thing. We are only his servants and we can pray His will is accomplished. Sometimes, I think he is just testing us to see where our faith lies, in our plans and schemes or in Him. I am glad that every single day, significant or not to me, were planned for me before I was even created. It's not chance or luck, but God's will that controls what goes on in my life as I am faithful to him.

Against Hope

Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, "So shall your offspring be." ~ Romans 4:18

Do you know what it feels like to be without hope? Today feels a little like that for me. But just like Abraham, I choose to have hope when it seems silly and useless. And I will also receive the promise God has made to me. Sunday, church was really good. I just sat in God's presence and felt so refreshed and strengthened there. And today I realized why God provided that place of refreshing. Because today has been rough. I started the day making a statement of faith about the great week I was expecting. And then the roof fell in. One tile at a time. The circumstances look frustrating at best, but God doesn't change. And I choose to be like Abraham today and every day until I see God's promises fulfilled in my life.

Wasted Years

When you are a planner, like I am, and your plans don't work in your time, it is hard to think there aren't years that were wasted. When B.J. and I got married over 7 years ago, I asked him when he wanted to have kids and his response was "I just don't want to be an old dad." We were 24 and 21 when we got married, so I figured I wouldn't have any problem making sure he had kids before he was "old". (Whatever that means. It is all so relative.) Well, he is now 31 and I'm 28 so I feel like I may not be able to meet that stipulation. Not that B.J. is mad or anything like that because he knows we can't control what is going on with us right now. If it were up to me, and it apparently is not, we would have 2 kids by now or at least one and one on the way. But God has different plans and I am totally okay with that. However, there are days when I think about the wasted years. Where would we be if this whole journey of having a family was easy and quick for us? I have a friend who perfectly planned all three of her pregnancy to have each of her children in June so her husband (a teacher) could be off with her after the babies were born. Sometimes I envy her. And then I remember God's plan is perfect. It isn't plan B because plan A didn't work. Sometimes I think we think God has a backup plan. If we could just get it into our heads and hearts that his first plan is perfect and will be accomplished, that might just change our theology a bit. Back to wasted years. I read this verse the other day and it resonated with me (another way of saying the Holy Spirit hit me between the eyes with the truth in it.)

Joel 2:25 "I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten."

Isn't that awesome? God is aware that we feel like time has been wasted and we are still waiting and he has promised to repay us for our time of waiting when we don't see the promise yet, but are just trusting him faithfully. In Sandra's translation, it says, "Don't worry about it. I'll make it up to you and it'll be worth the wait. The times of wanting and needing and not seeing provision, I'll reward you for holding on against hope and against reason." So I think I'm going to make this my new verse of promise to hold on to. So here's to another week, another month, another year of waiting. Not hopelessly, or for some magic moment, but on God, who knows exactly what he is doing and when his perfect time will come. Because God sees the waiting period and he will repay me for what I view as wasted years.