Called to This?

So if you've been reading my blog at all lately you know I've been seeking God and trying to figure out what he is leading me to next. Not because I'm not happy, I just feel like there is more I should be doing. Like there are things he's been speaking to me and I am yet to see them fulfilled or matured to the fullness of what God has for me.

Fast forward to last Sunday.  I don't really know what was going on with me besides the fact that I was really stressed and hormonal for lack of better words.  I basically cried through both services and didn't really know why except that things aren't turning out the way I think they should.  Nothing major, just me trying to be perfect again and expecting too much of myself and others. Ughh! Will I ever learn?

So we had a guest speaker who is a missionary to China in the afternoon service.  And I was reminded I was called to this like he is called to China.  I believe Christians are called to parent their kids and teach them God's way.  I don't mean to understate the importance of that, because it is very important. Very. But we have been called as ambassadors to three kids that were rejected, were neglected, who knew nothing about God or his love. This is the ministry God wants me to focus on. My kids.

Somehow thinking of parenting my kids this way changes my perspective.  It helps me see the bigger picture and be more determined to not give up or let myself feel like a failure.  Because I am strong enough for the challenge because He has equipped me for this.  He has called me to this.

And God is helping me to teach them His ways and is helping them to unlearn their normal and relearn how to live God's way. And I need to remind myself old habits die hard.  They aren't going to unlearn everything in a year.  It's going to take time and that's okay. And I have to love them to Jesus, showing them his compassion and trusting God along the way.  Just like a missionary in a foreign land starting from nothing.

Let me take a moment and brag on Daniel.  Lets start by saying he has responded to his past with anger which is very common.  So it's been a struggle to get him to not take everything as a personal threat to him or as an attack.  His natural response was to defend himself and get angry instead of letting the teacher/adult handle when people treat him rudely (or he perceives that is what is happening).  All that to say that today at the YMCA he accidentally ran into another kid and then apologized and went back to his friends. The other kid came over to him and kicked him.  Instead of getting angry and retaliating he did nothing.  The teachers/adults saw it and the other child got in trouble for their actions.  I was so proud of him for acting like Jesus would and "turning the other cheek" so to speak.  I am not teaching my son to be a wimp or get run over, but to control his emotions and let the teachers handle it.  And he is learning.  We are still a long way from what I would expect of children I raised from birth, but that is not where we are starting from (I keep having to remind myself of that).  They are learning to respond and love like Jesus does and it is so exciting to see the growth in the past 9 months.  God is definitely working in them.