Secret Warriors

God is building an army, but not like most people would think. These warriors are not visible to the human eye. They are not the people you'd expect, like the worship leader or the pastor of your church. But they are doing battle just the same. At home. By themselves. On their knees. And without any fanfare at all. 

They are the Aarons and Hurs holding up the arms of the Moses' of this generation (Exodus 17).

The willing. The called. The faithful servants. The intercessors.

God is shaking the church and taking us back to a place where prayer has a place in our lives. Not just the prayers we say over our food or the "Now I lay me down to sleep" prayers, but prayers with purpose. Prayers led by the Spirit of God that move the heart of God to act on behalf of his people. Prayers of protection and peace. Prayers of spiritual warfare against the enemy of our souls. Prayers according to God's will and plans for our lives.

Prayers that are powerful and affective and avail much. (James 5:16)

Because without these secret warriors, the church has no power, no strength, and the devil is gaining ground. The vitality of the church depends on its intercessors. To go before and prepare the way for the Lord. To stand in the gap and hold off the enemy as he tries so fervently to attack and destroy God's people. To encourage where the enemy has discouraged. To build up where the enemy has tore down.  To pray strength for the weak and healing for the wounded.

Because God promised that "if my people who are called by my name would humble themselves, and pray and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land." II Chronicles 7:14

So when God calls you to join the army, obey. Because the Kingdom of God needs you now more than ever.

Normal

Tonight was Spirit Night at Spring Creek for my kids' school. They finally scheduled it on a night we could go so we chose to participate. We saw many teachers the kids knew and they were all excited (kind of funny coming from kids who more often complain about school or at least the work involved than are excited about it.) One of the teachers came by to offer us yummy hot rolls and took a minute to converse with the kids. She innocently started comparing the kids to each other and started to discuss which of us (B.J. or I) the kids looked like.  We kind of smiled at each other and let her continue. None of the kids or us felt the need to offer an explanation and for the first time I felt like we were a normal family. One that doesn't need an excuse or explanation to describe our struggles or the public opinion of us. We just naturally are a family that belong together.   That were placed together by an almighty God that knows exactly what he is doing.

I am amazed by how God has orchestrated our family and honestly want to share our story with everyone I meet to share his goodness. But the other side of the coin is that I have found myself using the whole adoption story and quick expansion of our family bit to gain sympathy or to leave myself a reason or excuse for failure, should it happen. But I have found that in giving an excuse, I am somehow rejecting my kids, isolating them from us, at least mentally instead of embracing them and defending them as I should. And that is not what I should be doing. For their sake. For God's plan to be fulfilled in us. In me. 

God has been teaching me to accept his plan and for the most part I have been walking in that. But I have held a small corner of my heart back. Kind of a plan B or an excuse. In case I failed as a mom or a spiritual leader for them. Because I was/am scared and hate to fail. But slowly those kids are helping me see that It is all gonna be okay. Not perfect according to my high expectations for myself (which really need to go anyway) but good. Perfect according to His Ways. 

As time passes there will be more and more people who don't know our story and although we will never forget the grace of God, it will be good for us to continue to grow as a normal family and to become the team God intended us to be. To support each other and love each other and live as a unit doing life together God's way. Normal with no excuses.

Whose Report Will You Believe?

Whose report will you believe?
I will believe the report of the Lord.
His report says I am healed.
His report says I am filled.
His report says I am free.
His report says VICTORY.

I was sitting in church yesterday just grateful for where I am in life. I am not saying I am without struggle (because who can really say that, especially with 4 kids there is always something I am dealing with). But I am in a time in my life where I am constantly reminded of the goodness of God. Where I can rejoice in who God is and not worry or fear or be overwhelmed by the what-ifs of tomorrow. 

It reminded me of those people who stood with us, who encouraged us, when I felt like I was going through the trial of my life. Would I really trust God to be who I'd claimed he was all my life, the giver of all good things, or would I sit by the wayside and allow myself to live defeated? I pray I was able to come through the time of testing shining like gold, but I know there were moments of sorrow and helplessness.  It was definitely not all sunshine and roses, and life never is. But I did come through to see the faithfulness of God providing above what I ever could have imagined and meeting my needs in ways only he can.

And some of my band of encouragers are in their time of testing and are depending on me and others who are in the easier times of life to lift them up, just like I was lifted up during my time of need. And I will stand strong on the report of the Lord for their sake, to encourage them to keep holding on through the darkness and through the unknown. That's what the family of God is supposed to do for each other. To be the Aaron and Hur's for them, to hold up their hands during battle until the victory is won. To intercede and encourage. To speak life into dead situations by the Spirit of God.

I am so grateful to serve a God who is a solid rock that doesn't change. Who provides us his word on which we can base our lives and on which we can build our hope and our trust. Who sees us not as we are now, but as he is molding us to be according to his good plans for us. Who sees the end from the beginning and who is for us. Fighting out battles, giving us strength to endure. And I will believe his report for our lives over every lie the devil tries to get us to hold on to. The victory has already been won, we just need to act like the victors and not the victims. For greater is he that is in me, than he that is in the world.

Breaking Point

Why do we wait until we are at our lowest to call out to God?  Why do we keep thinking we can handle it all on our own and that it'll turn around without His help?

I feel like everyone I know has someone close to them that is going through a very low time in their lives. But they just haven't reached bottom yet and are unwilling to turn to God. And we are hurting and desperate for our loved ones to run to God instead of away from him, praying out our hearts to a God who hears us and is waiting for them to need him.

And I am reminded that not only is God the one who hears, who answers and who delivers, he also will do whatever it takes so that we realize we need him. I think about the Israelites in the desert. One of my favorite verses is found in Deuteronomy.

He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. Deuteronomy 8:3

When we are stubborn and won't come to God when life is easy, he does whatever it takes to draw us to himself. To show us that we need him and we can't live by ourselves, trying things our own ways. So even as we watch our loved ones go through some hard things, that are not fair and that hurt us to see, we must trust in a God who is using even that for his glory, to show himself, and to open their eyes to see that they really need him. 

Because the decision to serve him is a personal one each person must make for themselves. And so God draws them, compels them to come to him and he does whatever necessary to show his love, to pull at their heart strings. Because God loves them as much as we do and is looking forward to the day when they choose to run to him, full force ahead, nothing in the way, so he can love on them the way he has longed for.

You and Me, Jesus

There is this really old song made popular by Dallas Holm that is called "You and Me, Jesus." It basically talks about how when no one else is there, Jesus is still by our side. (Honestly, I don't even know why I know this song. Not my style at all.) The message is so true. When you can't depend on anyone else, Jesus is still there. 

I have lived most of my life with few friends. Not really because I don't trust anyone or because I am not friendly (or I don't think I am unfriendly). That is just the way I am wired. I am naturally an introvert (which some of you won't believe). I am totally happy to be by myself all day just doing what I want. I don't thrive on social events or have to be around people to be happy.  I have always had a ton of acquaintances and people I trust or see as family (I have been at the same church since I was 4), but never really anyone consistently close to me. (Well, besides my hubby, mom and sister, but that is a given.) Part of that is because I have not made the time or exerted the energy to cultivate close friendships. I am not saying this to make you all feel sorry for me. I like it this way and am totally okay with it.

But lately God has put some very special people in my life. People that I connect with on a deeper, spiritual level.  Who encourage me and I can encourage. Who love me and love God with me. Who see the best in others, who aren't quick to judge or get offended, but just see me for me and accept that.  Knowing that I am not perfect, but I am striving to be more Christlike each day. For the first time in a long time, I feel understood or appreciated and not like I am wrong because I am not like whoever. And it really feels good to be loved that way.  This is how it should feel to be a part of the body of Christ.

Although my salvation is not based on anything but the blood of Jesus, and I won't allow another person to shake my faith, it doesn't have to be just "you and me, Jesus" either. God intended us to do this Christian walk together.