29W6D

How Far Along: 29 Weeks 6 Days
Size of the Baby: About 15.5 inches long, and 3lbs, the size of a small cabbage.
Total Weight Gain/Loss:13 pounds gained total, but I feel like a whale
Maternity Clothes: Yes. On occasion I can wear a non-maternity top if it's a less fitted style, but pants are limited to either maternity or loose like lounge/pajama pants.
Gender:GIRL~ Julia Renee. Excited to have a baby girl coming.
Movement: All the time. She is quite a mover and shaker. It's hard to compare to Seth because he was so low and at the time I had nothing to compare his movement to. BJ and Daniel have both seen or felt her move. Dr. W says she is already head down, feet on my left side and bottom on the right. This would explain why when I feel her move on the right it is more like shifting than kicking.
What I Miss Most: My clothes and not feeling so full all the time Also, I miss being able to go without getting short winded or using more effort. I am usually in pretty good shape, but right now I am so easily worn out. It is definitely worse than with Seth, but I'm older, and I'm chasing a toddler. To me it is a huge difference.
Cravings:Salty more than sweet. Wish I could eat without feeling so full.
Symptoms: Feeling like a whale, like there is no possible way she can stay in there another 10 weeks.
Best Moment of the week: Just the movement. Even though it hurts some, it reminds me that there is a purpose for all the discomfort. Oh, yeah! And getting compliments about pregnancy looking good on me. Ya'll better look while you can, cause this ain't happening again.

I will be traveling via plane to Kansas City MO for a funeral this weekend by myself. I'm a little nervous about traveling at this point in my pregnancy, but Dr. W said the risks are pretty low of anything happening at this point. The real risk is complications while I'm away from my doctor, but I just trust God to take care of Julia and me.

Looks like I'll be leading worship on Sunday since my parents are driving back from Missouri that day. It'll be good. We'll survive. God will bless. He is faithful like that.

Life

It's been a while since I've blogged. This last month has just been crazy including end of school awards, a business trip to San Antonio and now the Big Kids are at camp.  I thought I'd get time to blog last week while I was out of town, but that was obviously not the case.

Let's start with baby news. Yesterday I had my third (and hopefully final) sonogram for Julia. There will only be another sonogram if there is a reason to have one.

The first two (to the left) are Julia at 29 weeks and the last two are Seth at 38 weeks.I think the faces look kinda similar, but it's hard to tell since they are 9 weeks apart. Julia has a little bit of hair/fuzz where as Seth had a little dark hair when he was born that has since been replaced with blonde. As far as size goes, the technician said she was measuring a week bigger than expected, but suspected a recent growth spurt. She estimated Julia is already 3.5 pounds or so and noted her long legs. I expect we will have a normal size baby (as opposed to Seth who was so small. He still can wear 18 month pants if they are long enough and he is 2.5). Of course, all of that is a guess and we really won't know until she gets here. I have bought 2 outfits (both 0-3 months) and don't plan on buying any newborn or premie clothes unless the doctors starts seeing her lag behind in size and turn into a small baby like Seth. My sister gave me a bunch of little girl clothes, which include probably enough newborn to get by if needed.

Each pregnancy is so different. I feel like my skin is so tight around my belly and there is no room for her to grow, but I know she still has 11 weeks and will get bigger. Just not sure how she will fit. :) Tuesday I have a doctor's appointment where Dr. W will talk about the sonogram and do the normal measuring, listen to the heartbeat stuff before we go to appointments every 2 weeks after that. I feel like the end of August will be here before we know it. And I am so not ready. She would be fine, I just feel like I have a lot of planning to do at work to get things to a good place before I can be off for maternity leave. And then I remember I do still have probably at least 10 weeks which is 2 whole months. I just wish I didn't have so many projects on hold. One day at a time, cleaning out my office and email inbox so I can be gone and getting things done before then.

It'll all work out. It always does.

Regarding just general baby preparation, I got down Seth's carseat, cleaned it up and put the new girlie cover on it, so we are ready to go with that.

I plan to buy her diaper bag today. I have registered for some things at Babies R Us (just online) but need to get that finished up. A lot of big things I already have from Seth.

The big kids are at church camp for the first time. Daniel acted like he didn't want to go, which is normal for him, but I was told that he was really excited once he got there. This morning I got a text message from Katelynn that said "I love you, mommy." Such a sweet girl! They'll be home tomorrow and I'm excited to hear about their time at camp. My kids are just made for camp. They are so social and in general not scared to do anything new, so I'm sure they'll really enjoy it. I'm praying for God to do something special in each of them during this time.

Seth has been an only child since Wednesday afternoon. The kids were worried he would be a handful by himself since they play with him so much and wouldn't be here. I told them he's only wild when they are here and it'd be fine. He slept 12 hours last night and I got to sleep in until 8. It was so nice.

Today we are off to do some shopping and then just hang out mostly. Should be a nice relaxing day.

Tonight BJ and I are watching American Sniper via Redbox. My sister and her family are coming in town tomorrow for my mom's birthday, so we'll be having dinner with them after the kids get back from camp. Then we have one week of "normal" and we are off toward Houston for vacation.

I plan to blog again next week after my doctor's appointment and then maybe some while on vacation.

The fall is setting up to be pretty busy for our family of 7. Daniel will be playing football for the first time. Haley will be learning to play the clarinet in the school band. Katelynn will be the only Fowler in the elementary school and learning to find her place without being "Haley's sister" or "Daniel's sister."  There will definitely be some growing up going on with the big kids (who Seth calls "the kids") I will be at home with the Littles after Julia is born for a while. I'm actually excited to see how everything pans out and how the Bigs adapt and mature! It will be a fun time at our house!

God Hurts

I've been having a rough week emotionally. Call it a spiritual attack + preggo hormones + tiredness or whatever else you'd like. I don't usually cry, but this week (yesterday especially) my make up was no more before I even made it to work.

I keep having people tell me that I'm overwhelmed. I thought I was doing pretty good until the damn broke yesterday and I couldn't stop crying. And honestly, this happens on occasion and I feel better afterwards. An emotional release just feels good. (I always think about that Everybody Loves Raymond episode where Ray is trying to make himself cry to try and understand why Deborah likes a good cry every once in a while. Such a funny episode.)

My kids, who I don't give nearly enough credit to, especially the one who I feel really disconnected from right now, was very compassionate and just sat by me on the couch and hugged me through my tears. These are the moments I need to remember when I feel like all of my efforts are wasted and getting nowhere. When I feel unneeded and unwanted.

So I woke up this morning with an old song in my head:
I need thee, oh, I need thee.
Every hour I need thee.

And I saw a vision of God, sitting on his throne, weeping uncontrollably. Because when I let myself feel unneeded, and overwhelmed with sorrow, God hurts too. Because just like I have adopted three kids and want to provide them with everything they need to succeed, and sometimes they don't think they need me and don't want my help, God has done the same for me and I respond just like they do. And he feels unneeded too when I don't let him help me. And it hurts him when I am hurting and he could fix it if I would let him, but I choose to be overwhelmed instead.

Such a powerful picture of the love of our father. God, let me never forget that you need to be needed and want to be wanted too. Help me to trust you and not carry this all on my own.

Multiplication

Unless you are a math person, like I am, the title of this blogpost has already diverted your attention elsewhere. To save face, this is not about math or anything of the sort.

This weekend God started to let me see how things multiply in his kingdom. Maybe remind me is a better word choice. I think sometimes, we are too self focused to see what God is doing from a big picture perspective.

Last week, I obeyed God and prayed for some individuals. Obedience is a hard thing to learn, so it feels good to know that I obeyed God and it is getting easier all the time.  All glory to God! I believe that when I pray for people, God does something. I may not always know what that is, but I know that when God is moving, there is a purpose. He chooses to use me (and you if you'll let him) to pray for others, to encourage them, to touch them, to spur them on toward spiritual growth and move them closer to God himself. And that change in them multiplies to others.

This Sunday, each of the people that God used me to minister to were ministering to others. And I am just foolish enough to believe that those people will minister to others and the power of God will continue to multiply in each of those lives that he is touching. And we will all continue, by the grace of God, to obey when He speaks, and to feed into each other what God has given us. Not because of us, but because of him.

And the church body (as a whole and not just my church) will grow both in numbers and depth.

For he who called you is faithful and will do it. I Thessalonians 5:24