Selfish Regret

I've been serving God for 29 years. And do you want to know how many people I've led to Christ? How many I've prayed the "sinners prayer" with? 4, all within the last 6 years, and they all live in my house. That's one person about every 8 years. That's pathetic!

I could come up with all sorts of excuses and you may even agree that they are legitimate. I could also provide a list of people who I feel like I've impacted for the kingdom even if I wasn't the one to lead them to Christ and that would also be a reasonable justification for my failure in this respect.

But the bottom line is this. I regret many things about how I've lived for God and this is a huge one.

In the past year I've realized just how selfish I've been. How apathetic I've become to the condition of the souls I come in contact with every day. How I've been quick to boast of my busyness and lack of time for other people, and stating that God would understand and he sees my heart. But was I really doing all I could so fewer people would go to hell? Not even close.

But I've changed that, or rather God is changing that in me. With God's help and his leading I've started investing in some souls. Sunday Pastor Sid posed the question, "What's a soul worth to you?" An inconvenience? An awkward conversation? A meal? A tank of gas? A moment of your time?

Maybe some of you would see this as an easy way out, but God has been leading me to text or send Facebook messages to certain people asking if I can pray with them about something specific and sometimes inviting them to church. (As a side note winning a soul for Jesus is not the same as inviting someone to church. It would be a step in the right direction, but people need Jesus whether they ever step foot in your church or not.) These are generally people from my growing up years. And people are just pouring out their hearts to me. It's amazing! And I'm trying to share the hope of Jesus with them. I would definitely say I'm a better writer than talker (which is why I enjoy blogging) and God is using that for His Kingdom purposes.

So I'm learning to invest in people. Not because I'm so awesome and everyone needs to know what I know, but because we all need someone or several someones who will invest in us. And I'm so thankful for those who are investing in me, during this time in my life. It all comes full circle.

As I read through the Gospels, I see time after time when Jesus invested in people. He saw a need and was willing to go there. To get in the mud and trod through when necessary. So I'm learning to be selfless and I haven't regretted it for one second.

It's amazing to me that even though I spend some of my time investing in others, there is still time for my kids and husband. There is still time for the mundane daily tasks. Because just like with the feeding of the five thousand, God has a way of multiplying my time as it is used for his purposes. Praise God!!

So I'm moving forward, learning to listen to God better, growing in obedience, and living selflessly with no regrets.