The Man With a Plan

II Timothy 1:9 For God saved us and called us to live a holy life. He did this, not because we deserved it, but because that was his plan from the beginning of time - to show us grace through Christ Jesus.

Since before the world existed God has had a plan (I love planners!!☺). It wasn't a plan that exalted us or raised up an army or that depend on our doing at all. His plan was to show grace. To generously give to people who were undeserving if they would just accept his gift.

And since the creation of time we have been trying to figure out how to earn this gift. Maybe if we follow the rituals of the law or be "good", then he could show grace. Maybe if we proved we were worth it, he would bestow his gift to us. Maybe if we worked really hard and accomplished many great things he would have grace on us. And none of our plans have worked because they were never a part of The Plan.

The plan to give generously undeserved favor to us, knowing we were greedy and selfish. Knowing we could never repay him. That we would be constantly dependent on him to provide for us.

Grace is such a hard concept to grasp until you've experienced it. And maybe those who have been forgiven of much can better appreciate grace than those who were raised in church and never really strayed from him.

So this year, I want to be more aware of the sprinkling of God's grace on my life and be intentionally grateful for all that blessings I've received, noticing his hand in ever part of my life. Because I am a recipient of his amazing grace.

The Best is Yet to Come

A new year can mean a lot of things to a lot of people.

For some, it is sorrow that this great year has to come to an end. A longing for time to freeze and for this moment to remain. A fear that the upcoming year can't possibly compare to what you've just experienced.

For others it's a relief. A fresh start. A longing to forget the struggles, the sorrow, the stress of the previous year and move forward. To get out of the current whole and move forward.

But the one thing I keep hearing in my soul is the best is yet to come. And that is certainly true when you serve God.

That doesn't mean there will be no sorrow or struggle in the upcoming year, but that even in those struggles, if you seek Him, He will be ever present. You will be nearer to His heart than before.

The best is yet to come.

It does mean you can look forward in hope, joyful expectation of seeing God come through again. Expectation of being led by his spirit. Just waiting to see how God will show himself strong in your every day.

So I look forward to a new year, knowing it will hold both joys and sorrows, tests and triumphs. Because I know whose I am and who holds my tomorrow and he exceeds my expectations.

Shift

I guess it was about a week ago when I heard this worship song that has just been my song this week. Every time I hear it or start singing it, there is an automatic focus shift from me to God. 

Now, I love to worship and there are a lot of songs I like, but this one just hits me differently. I love worship songs that I can relate to that are Biblically sound. There are several that speak about going through valleys and finding God in the middle of the struggle. Really good stuff, but this song is ALL ABOUT HIM!! There is no room for my self absorbed pouting or whining or thinking at all about what I am going through. 

And I love that. It reminds me this life and all I do and all I face is really all about Him and His purposes and His plans and not at all about me.

And no matter what, He is worthy of all my praise, all my effort, all I have to sacrifice to him.

For from you are all things and to you are all things. You deserve the glory.

Christmas Perspective

This morning I woke up late (7:40) and my house was still quiet, which was a Christmas miracle. My kids never sleep in this late, especially not on Christmas. Yesterday must have worn them out. After our morning worship service, we want to lunch for Katelynn's birthday, had ice cream for dessert, made a birthday cake for Jesus and opened Christmas jammies. All this after 2 days of Christmas festivities. They were in bed normal time and then slept in.

Anyways before I actually got out of bed, I started praying. Most years Christmas is probably one of my least favorite days. I think my expectations for my kids are too high and I end up disappointed. I get mad when they are ungrateful or feel like I spend all day cleaning up while all they do is play. I know these are both normal, so I don't think it's them that's the issue but my perspective and expectations.

So I started praying early in hopes of changing my attitude. Of having a normal Christmas. One where I didn't take my disappointment out on my kids. I started intentionally thanking Jesus for coming to earth and praying he would help me find my joy and peace in him, especially on this day where I tend to expect others to satisfy me by being thankful or appreciative of all my work for them. So before I got my feet out of bed, I decided it was okay if they were ungrateful, okay if they didn't like their gifts, okay if they enjoyed their presents while I cleaned up. Because today I was focused on the real reason we celebrate Christmas.

And with God's strength I made it through, focused and filled with joy and peace rather than frustrated and angry. And just for the record they were grateful and helpful more than in previous years, or maybe I just noticed the good instead of the bad.

And it showed me one thing. Not that I am anything, but that if I start my day in his presence, setting my perspective on him, He will give me the strength to make it through victorious over my selfish and sinful tendencies. And he will help you too if you take the time to get his perspective rather than relying on your normal.

Consecrated

It's been a while since I've done a Sunday School lesson recap on my blog. I guess I never really classified it as such, but did use to share at least the highlights from my class kinda regularly.

Today's lesson focused on Joshua 3:5 where the Isrealites were about to cross the Jordan River and their leaders were giving instructions. Joshua's instructions were clear: consecrate/sanctify/purify yourself for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things.

A couple of things.

1. We are all so eager and happy and excited to do great things for God, but we forget we aren't in control. We have no power or authority that produces great things. Our job is to consecrate ourselves to God and he will do amazing things. Often times he chooses to use us, but we aren't the driving force. We don't have to make things happen and put the ball into motion. That's God's job! We only have to consecrate ourselves. Which brings me to my next point.

2. Are we as devoted to God in our down time as in our serving time? When there is a project or a church program we have volunteered to help with, we are all in. We plan it. We show up when needed. We are ready to work! But what about in our down time? How many countless hours do we spend scrolling through Facebook that could have been devoted to God? How many minutes/hours are we wasting that could be better spent in his presence? In his Word? Preparing ourselves for whatever is coming next.

We say we need down time. We refresh our selves by doing mindless things like playing games on our phones, or watching TV. Could we not make the habit of finding our refreshing in Him?  We all have excuses, but what if we stopped justifying our lack of devotion and changed our priorities? Are we scared we will be disappointed by his absence? That he won't be found by us when we seek him? That he'll ask something of us we aren't willing to give? Or have we set up in our minds this perfect experience, perfect circumstance where we could avail ourselves to all he has and that time never comes. More times than I dare to admit, I have started out with good intentions, with personal goals and expectations that only lead me to failure. In my eyes, but not in the eyes of my loving Father who just wants to spend time with me. Who doesn't care if I get off schedule or if I have an off day. Who doesn't punish me when I return to him but is waiting with open arms.

So my goal is to be more devoted, to fall more in love with the one who loved me first in the middle of my mess. And as much as I'd like to quantify that, I know that I can't. I want my go to time filler to be time with Him. Not always in the quiet or uninterrupted, but to live life like he is physically with me. My best friend who is always my side. And see God do amazing things as I do my part and consecrate myself unto him.

Wrapping Up

Can y'all believe we are almost to the end of 2017? I'm not sure how each year flies by faster than the previous, but it sure feels like it.

And every year I try to take some time and reevaluate me. To look back at my goals for the year and see if they were accomplished and to look forward to where I want to be in the next year. And if my last two Sunday School lessons are any indication of what I feel I need to work on,  for 2018, I'm looking for an attitude change. (On a side note, I'm always amazed that no matter how long you have been serving Jesus, he has a way of continuing to raise the standard in your life. To challenge you to be closer to him, to love more like him and respond more like he would. My human self would think that as some point the struggles would lessen, but I've learned there is always something new God will require to stretch you. And that the closer we get to Jesus, the more we realize our fallen state.)

My goal (okay, what God has pushed me towards) is an attitude of gratefulness instead of complaining and love/grace instead of criticizing. I'm so critical and can be such a complainer. Maybe not in public where everyone sees or knows, but definitely in my own home. I don't know what I think I'm accomplishing by either of these things. I've told my class these past two weeks that to change our attitudes, we have to have a heart change because thats the source of our attitudes. Complaining words or criticism doesn't just leave our lips without first resonating deep within who we are. And the only way I know to change my heart and my over-analysis of others is to pray for those I complain about or am critical towards. I jokingly told my class that my prayer list is long and the Holy Spirit nudged me saying , "if you really did what you want your students to do, that list would be longer than it really is."

So here I go. Praying for those I'm critical of. Praying grateful prayers instead of complaining whining ones.

Honestly I've gotten away from praying for people in an effort to keep my prayers more worshipful and less selfish but maybe it just kept me from seeing my disobedience or dealing with my junk. Maybe I was in denial or avoiding it all together.

Another thing that hit me today was that when people don't see importance in what I'm trying to offer, I get angry and annoyed. I take some high horse, throwing a tantrum because it's not going my way. So I definitely have some pride issues to deal with too.

Oh boy. I hate dealing with my stuff. I much prefer praying for someone else's struggles than doing my part to deal with my own. But I'm gonna put on my big girl panties and do what I should instead of waiting for everyone else to fix themselves and make my life closer to what God desires.