Wrapping Up

Can y'all believe we are almost to the end of 2017? I'm not sure how each year flies by faster than the previous, but it sure feels like it.

And every year I try to take some time and reevaluate me. To look back at my goals for the year and see if they were accomplished and to look forward to where I want to be in the next year. And if my last two Sunday School lessons are any indication of what I feel I need to work on,  for 2018, I'm looking for an attitude change. (On a side note, I'm always amazed that no matter how long you have been serving Jesus, he has a way of continuing to raise the standard in your life. To challenge you to be closer to him, to love more like him and respond more like he would. My human self would think that as some point the struggles would lessen, but I've learned there is always something new God will require to stretch you. And that the closer we get to Jesus, the more we realize our fallen state.)

My goal (okay, what God has pushed me towards) is an attitude of gratefulness instead of complaining and love/grace instead of criticizing. I'm so critical and can be such a complainer. Maybe not in public where everyone sees or knows, but definitely in my own home. I don't know what I think I'm accomplishing by either of these things. I've told my class these past two weeks that to change our attitudes, we have to have a heart change because thats the source of our attitudes. Complaining words or criticism doesn't just leave our lips without first resonating deep within who we are. And the only way I know to change my heart and my over-analysis of others is to pray for those I complain about or am critical towards. I jokingly told my class that my prayer list is long and the Holy Spirit nudged me saying , "if you really did what you want your students to do, that list would be longer than it really is."

So here I go. Praying for those I'm critical of. Praying grateful prayers instead of complaining whining ones.

Honestly I've gotten away from praying for people in an effort to keep my prayers more worshipful and less selfish but maybe it just kept me from seeing my disobedience or dealing with my junk. Maybe I was in denial or avoiding it all together.

Another thing that hit me today was that when people don't see importance in what I'm trying to offer, I get angry and annoyed. I take some high horse, throwing a tantrum because it's not going my way. So I definitely have some pride issues to deal with too.

Oh boy. I hate dealing with my stuff. I much prefer praying for someone else's struggles than doing my part to deal with my own. But I'm gonna put on my big girl panties and do what I should instead of waiting for everyone else to fix themselves and make my life closer to what God desires.