Last Post in August

Well I am starting this blog with nothing particular in mind. I do know that I only have 3 blogs this month and that simply will not do. Since my last update, we've been busy, but what's new? Got some things done for our adoption: 2 classes this week TB test FBI Fingerprinting I have been so tired lately and I'm not quite sure why. I haven't really been sleeping less that usual. Maybe I'm getting too old to be so busy. We are on vacation this week, so I am looking forward to that. We are going to New York City. Maybe if I wanted rest and relaxation we should have planned to stay home and do nothing, but then again, who actually does nothing when they are home? I guess we are at least getting out of the area for a few days. I am actually looking forward to it, assuming we don't wear ourselves out. Generally when we vacation we sleep in, eat a late breakfast and plan one thing a day. I know there are a ton of things to do in NYC, but if we can see a few things we haven't before and enjoy not working, the vacation will be worth it. After we return, my parents leave for their vacation a few days later. They are going with my grandparents to Oregon/Washington to visit some family. While they are gone, I will be leading praise and worship for one service. I am not really comfortable leading, but I know that God will lead me to what songs to sing and he will use me as I am available. This is a real stretch for me, but God's strength is made perfect in my weakness. We had 9 in Sunday School. God is just so good! He continues to speak to me for my class and knows exactly what they need to hear. So, anyone who is in my class, if you want a seat on a couch it appears that you will have to be on time for Sunday School. In the mean time, I will be looking for another couch to fill the empty wall in my class so that everyone can sit on a couch. I'm glad you all came and am so excited about what God is going to do! For now, I am looking forward to sleeping a few hours on a plane tomorrow.

Two are Better Than One

So, I've been asked many times why we have decided to adopt a group of 2 siblings. My response? Why not? There are so many kids who need a home and many of them are not adopted because they are with their siblings. The state of Texas has a mandate that requires agencies to try to adopt siblings together as opposed to separating them. Can you imagine being taken from your home with your brother/sister and shortly thereafter being separated from the only person you have left because it's inconvenient to keep you together? These kids need to be together almost as much as they need parents to love them. We have room, we have love, so why not open our hearts and our home to a group of siblings? God has provided for us and we are willing to share ourselves with them. Yes, going from no kids to two will be difficult, but quite frankly, just because it is difficult doesn't mean you should quit and take the easy way out. Ok, so on to the practical reasons why we have chosen to adopt 2 siblings. The state is trying very hard to adopt siblings together and are offering incentives to families for adopting siblings. Those include free tuition and fees to any state college for the kids as well as the option to remain on Medicare STAR Health until the age of 18. This means they basically have free health insurance and we do not have to pay for that. No, adopting these kids is not some way for us to make money. That would be absurd. These kids, like any kids, are going to cost us emotionally and financially, but they will be worth it. Lets just say the incentives are great for the kids and they deserve every penny of it. Yes, I discuss this with myself all the time and I have peace with the decision that will totally change our lives forever. In some ways, my pep talks with myself is a part of convincing myself that God won't give me more than I can handle. And God won't open up my heart to a sibling group if that isn't his will for us. I have heard that going from one to two kids is quite a jump and after that point, adding one more isn't that big of a deal. I guess we'll skip that jump all together and go straight to two kids. Oh yeah, on a practical note, I want 3 or 4 kids, so adopting two doesn't mean our family will be complete or that we won't ever have biological kids. I just know that I've always wanted to adopt and I really think that if we would've waited until we had biological children, we may never have researched or went the adoption route. Because it is work. Because it takes an effort. Because as I said in the last post you have to really want these kids. God knows exactly what he is doing, and his timing is always perfect. And by the way, when God wants you to adopt two siblings, two is always better than one.

You Really Have to Want These Kids

Today I was talking with a friend about how the adoption process and all of that is going. She asked if we were done with the classes yet. In normal Sandra fashion, I responded with a very detailed list of when we have all the classes scheduled and everything we have left to do. Just so this can be some sort of update post, I'll give you that list:

• 1 class last week
• 2 classes done this week
• 1 more class this week
• 2 classes on the 28th
• 1 class on Sept 11th
• 1 class on Sept 14th
• 2 classes not scheduled yet
• fire inspection
• TB test
• digital FBI fingerprinting
• dentist/doctor forms
• home study

With good reason, after I gave her the list she promptly responded with "I guess they are making sure you really want to get the kids." As if there was any doubt in anyone's minds, yes, I know this is a lot, and yes we really want to do this. God has put this on our hearts and these kids are so worth it.

The Good Ole' Days

This weekend I went to my bff from high school's son's birthday party. It was so much fun watching the boys have a nerf gun fight. Somehow, BJ and I ended up in the direct line of fire many times and yet since we are gluttons for punishment, we didn't move. So, today I've decided to do a tribute to the good times we (Shay and I) had in high school. When I'm having a bad day I can look back at this post and laugh. Some of you may not think these are funny or entertaining, but Shay and I will at least get a kick out of it. I remember when we went to South Padre for a choir trip. As soon as we got there, we proceeded to jump on the beds because we could. Apparently Shay's family always does this when they stay at a hotel. To eat, we bought sandwich stuff and for snacks, double stuffed oreos and twizzlers pull & peel. Shay slept with and a shirt that which smelled like the current boyfriend and reread some letter he wrote her numerous times in our 3 days. I think she also tried to convince me to talk to Micah, but I was too shy. I remember when we painted SGP on our old jeans for the Beat North game. By the time the jeans dried, they were so stiff we could hardly get them on. We wore them anyways, because we were cool like that. I remember our matching jeans that faded from jean color to white at the bottom. They were from Target and we loved them. I remember when we went to football games and hung out with/danced with the tubas at the top of the stands. Patrick was always entertaining. I remember our "best friend mums" for homecoming my junior and your senior year. I think mine is still at my moms. I remember when I had physics and you had chemistry at the same time in connecting classes and we would stand in the doorway and talk until our teachers made us sit down. I remember Agape Club meetings in the freshman gym on Wednesday afternoons. I remember renting Austin Powers and watching it to realize that is really is one of the stupidest movies of all times. I remember when you bought us matching shirts (one green and one blue) and overalls so we could wear them to school together. I remember hanging out at Marshall Drive Baptist and watching the guys play basketball. I remember coming to your wedding and hunting you down just to see how you were doing before the ceremony. I remember driving to Fort Hood to visit you and the boys. Those were some fun trips! Shay, I am so glad that we met in high school and have had so much fun over the years. I am glad you are back in the area and we can make many more memories for years to come!

All I Need to Be

Tell me again that I am strong. Tell me again that I won't fall. I need You here to fix me where I'm wrong. Take me beyond what I can see. Break me, make me believe you have made me all I need to be.

I don't know about you, but somedays I just need God to remind me that in spite of all of my shortcomings and all the things I don't like about myself, He has made me all I need to be. There is comfort in knowing God doesn't see me as flawed or as a project for him to fix. Yes, the more time you spend with God the more you become like him, but he has made me like this for a reason to fulfill his perfect plan for me so he gets glory from my life. I love this song by Fireflight for days when I just need reassurance.

I Stand Amazed

Sometimes, God just leaves me speechless. I am just amazed by all that has transpired in the past week. Let me get the basics out of the way and then I'll get into the meat of the matter. This past week I have been at youth camp with 7 teenagers from church. I haven't been in a few years and it was a lot of fun. My ability to sleep no matter what is going on around me definitely came in handy. Seriously every night I was asleep within 2 minutes of laying my head on my pillow. It didn't matter who was still talking, if the lights were on or not, or what was going on. I still only got about 5-6 hours of sleep a night, but trust me it could have been much worse. This was one of the 2 camps that had separate services for the senior and junior high students. Because my girls were mostly junior highers I went to that service every day. Our speaker was really funny and his sermons were very good. You know you have a good speaker who isn't babying the kids when I can take notes and grow from the things he was talking about. You know you can't have a week at camp without each of the girls having camp crushes/boyfriends that they basically stalk but won't talk to. It is so funny. So, a couple of times I was asked to go ask a guy what his stats were (name, age, what church). I remember those days so I obliged and didn't have a problem at all talking to them. Some of those guys continued to say hi to us the rest of the week, so the girls were thrilled. I plan on going again next year (depending on what happens with our adoption and such). Ok, onto the main reason I decided to blog. While at camp it seems like every service adoption came up at least once. I just took that as confirmation that I am right where God wants me to be and we have made the right decision for us. My heart continues to change every day it seems. I know that God is preparing me for whatever he has in store and the kids that he has planned for us. My heart is making room for them and I am so excited for what God has in store. In the last service, Garland Owensby spoke about lost coins. He had a bunch of coins and asked each of the kids to come and get a coin to represent someone they knew who didn't know Jesus. God immediately burdened my heart, once again, for my babies. After I prayed for quite a few kids that God was giving a burden for the lost to, I went and grabbed a couple of coins for my kids. I found a place and prayed for my babies. I have never felt for anyone else what I feel for these kids God is giving me. I am just amazed at my God and his plans which are so much more than I could have ever dreamed of. As an update in our adoption process, we have most of our adoption application turned in. We were going to attend two classes today that got canceled because the instructor got sick. I was a little bummed because BJ was actually off on a Saturday and we were going to be able to get some of our classes out of the way. But God reminded me, through BJ, that God is lining up the timing of everything according to his plan and not mine. We got our fire extinguishers mounted and now I just need to call the county to schedule a fire inspection so we can mark that off of our list. You wouldn't believe all the hoops we have to jump through to get our kids, but it is so worth it to be in God's will. BJ is working tomorrow so we'll miss him at church. Luckily, my dad got the songs to us early and he was able to get the powerpoints ready for tomorrow, so I won't have to do that in the morning. I have Sunday School and Children's Church tomorrow, so it's going to be a busy day, but as always, God is faithful to show up and use me for his glory.

A Mother's Heart

Ok, so I'm not a mom yet since we just decided to adopt, but as soon as we made that decision, my heart changed. Now, I'm not one that likes change or embraces it quickly, so it must be a God thing. Almost immediately after we shared the news with everyone I found my prayers changing from "I want" and "I need" to "God, protect my babies." I'm starting to understand what it means to be a mother. It's about giving of yourself always, putting your plans aside so your kids get everything they need. It's about going without so they can have and giving them all the love in the world and teaching them to love God. So little ones, know that I'm praying for you and waiting for you and I love you already even thought we've never met. I know God has picked you just for us and we are anxiously awaiting for the day when he brings us together to be the family he saw since before the creation of time.