Everything New

This week is definitely one full of new things for our growing family. I thought about starting this post with all the new things coming but wanted to make you actually click on the link and go to the blog to find out our news. Am I being cruel or what?

New name, new house, new BROTHER!!

That's right. We are having a boy. We are thrilled that baby looks perfect and everything has gone so well. I am also kinda glad because we couldn't decided on a girl name. And I don't know if we are having any more kids and have been wanting the name we've picked for a while. Bj says no more kids and I just say I don't know what God has for us so I can't rule it out right now.

New name.

The kids have been back and forth about changing their last name to Fowler. Partially I think just because they have had so much change in their young lives. But matter how they feel about name changed they are definitely excited about adoption. It has been a long time coming. We have had them for 8 months and a week. We are on our way to Houston for the adoption which will happen tomorrow morning. So glad to be here, finally.

New house.

We are closing on our new house Friday morning. We got the settlement statement and I was floored to see that we are paying $1500 less than we made on the sale of our house. I am just amazed we are being paid to move into a 15 year newer house with almost twice as much square footage.

Sunday when we were singing "Lord you are good to me" I couldn't help but think of where I was when God gave me that song and where we are now. God is so good!

Next to Last Sunday

In two Sunday's we will be driving to and from a different house to church.  It's hard to believe we are really to that place in this transition.  Moving in less than two weeks. Amazing!

I don't think I've shared how God provided our house for us.  It was totally a God thing. First, our house was listed and sold in 4 days.  4 Days.  We sold our house on this past Thursday to one of my best friends from high school.  She needed to get some place new to live and really wanted to stop the cycle of renting a buy a house to have some stability.  We originally were going to move next summer and then her situation got a little more urgent and she really wanted to get into a house this summer. So we prayed about it and decided it would be easier in the long run if we could move this summer instead of next summer when we will have an additional person and their many many things. (On a side note, it is ridiculous the amount of stuff you need for a tiny baby. Ughh!)  So we prayed and found peace and started looking for houses as did she.  Long story short, she found some houses that fell through and brought her back to our house.  At the same time we were signing a contract with her to sell our house, we put a bid on a house we loved.  It was just over 2000 square feet and was move in ready.  We really felt it was a God send, and then our offer got rejected. At the same time we had another house were were considering as a back up plan, that fell through the same day.  Then I left for Wisconsin. (I know. Great timing!) We'd promised Shay to close by 06/07 and be out by the 10th and we didn't have a house to go to.  Because she is a great friend, she said she wouldn't kick us out until school started, but I still felt like we should move as fast as we could to keep our word, or as close to our word as we could.  While I was in Wisconsin, BJ found two houses and went to see them with our realtor. He eliminated one and really felt that the second was a good fit for us and maybe a perfect house for us.  I arrived back from Wisconsin on Sunday night, went to see the house at 9 that night and we put an offer on it immediately.  Long story short, this is the house God has given us.  It is 700 square feet more than the orginal two houses and we are paying $10,000 less.  It is so much more than I even thought we'd be able to afford or get, but once again God proves himself faithful.  So we are thrilled about the new house.  4/2.5/2, large back yard, formal living and dining (which will be where the piano and probably a reading area/game table will be) family room, good sized kitchen, and besides that one of the secondary bedrooms is 14 by 19 (plenty big for two kids).  It's in Arlington with Mansfield schools.

I think I have almost everything packed I can and allow us to still eat and such for 2 weeks. I may have 5-6 boxes that can still be packed, so I'm feeling pretty good about my progress.  I was not prepared when we moved to this house, and didn't want to be that person again.  I kinda felt bad the first time when my mom had to essentially pack up my kitchen because I hadn't even started it.  But in my defense, I'd never really moved before and it was the middle of tax season.

Ok, enough about moving.

Tonight was our first night of Kids Crusade (It's our equivalent of VBS except the kids are all together and not separated into classes by age.) The theme is God's army, so my kids got camouflage shirts from my parents to wear for the crusade.  Of course, my picky one, H, didn't want to wear hers because it wasn't pink.  She doesn't even like pink.  But K had one and hers was not sufficient.  My parents tried to find pink in her size and it just wasn't happening.  So H was not having it in her moody 8 year old way.  So I told them I would paint their shirts some to add some color and pizazz and she says she'll wear it (but I'm not holding my breath,) She wanted the writing in blue so I tried to give her what she wanted even though I would have chosen something different.  The girl's shirts are on the outside and say God's Girl and D's says God's Soldier (per his request)Here's how they turned out:

 

I think they'll be okay.  I hope the kids like them or I may throw someone across the room.  Ok, not really, but they don't seem to appreciate the extra work I go to for them.  I know, I know. Welcome to parenthood.

I don't know what has come into D, but he has definitely taken a turn in the right direction. I'd like to say my prayers are finally paying off. On Saturday he just made up his mind that he was gonna try to do what he was asked and not complain.  He is doing really well correcting immediately when he is disciplined instead of fighting me.  I asked him why he decided to have a better attitude about life and he said that he wanted to make me happy and didn't want to write any more sentences. Ha!  I guess that finally paid off.  After the mother's day banquet where I learned another parent had given her son 500 sentences, I started to up the ante.  I guess I was being too easy, so I changed to start with 10 and add 10 at a time if they either don't do them or complain while doing them.  I also have decided to not let the frustration between us escalate before I decide to discipline.  At that point, they are frustrated, I am frustrated, and nothing gets resolved.  They are too mad to do what I ask and my patience is shot.  So they now get one warning and when they don't obey they get sentences.  There is a little grace there, but really what I say is what I mean and they will obey or write sentences.

You know that D loves to create things. Today, he decided he was worthy of his own measurement system.  Not US or Metric, but we are now measuring in D's.  Here's the rulers he made and gave BJ and I today. I asked him if he had a ruler he went by and he said no, he just did how many lines in between numbers he wanted.  I guess you could call it creative license. Such a fun kid!

Adoption is coming up this week, hopefully.  Still no for sure on the date.  Nothing like waiting until the last minute. I love being spontaneous! (Can you sense the sarcasm?) Hmmmmm.

16w6d

So BJ bought a memory card reader so I have a few weeks of prego pics to post.

13 Weeks

15 Weeks

16 weeks

Pregnancy Highlights

How Far Along: 16 Weeks 6 Days

Size of baby: About 5 inches long from head to rump and weighs about 5 ounces.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Gained 3.5 pounds.  I am still under normal weight gain, but I'm sure I'll catch up.  I'm not trying to be skinny, but I do know that I only need 300 extra calories per day for the baby to grow properly, so I'm trying to stay close to that and not use the "I can eat anything because I'm pregnant" excuse.  I have always been worried I wouldn't be able to lose the baby weight when I had kids, so I guess I am being cautious.  My doctor hasn't said anything about me gaining too little weight, yet. I have a doctor's appointment on Tuesday and we will see if he says anything then.

Maternity Clothes: I am wearing whatever is comfortable.  Either maternity tops or loose fitting regular tops and maternity bottoms when I can. (I don't have as many work appropriate maternity pants, so my belly-bands have come in handy).

Gender: Don't know yet, but I think its a girl for now anyways. I would like to find out soon, so we'll see if my doctor plans a gender reveal sono soon.

Movement: None yet that I know of.  Hello, I'm a first time mom so it may take a while before the baby moves and I identify it as such.  Everything I read says about 18 weeks, but it could be later if I don't know what I'm looking for.

Sleep:I am sleeping better now that my breasts aren't so sore all the time.  I am a stomach or side sleeper normally, so I think not being able to sleep on my stomach took a little getting used to.

What I miss: pants that fit without a belly band,

Cravings: None really. Just whatever I want at that moment.

Symptoms:  get lightheaded or dizzy if I stand up too fast

Best moment this week: People actually saying I look pregnant. I'm glad I'm past the chubby stage and actually look pregnant. I am looking forward to finding out what we are having and getting to see my family at our family reunion/Christmas in June in a few weeks and tell my story.  I haven't seen most of them in a while and only my grandparents since we got the kids almost 8 months ago.

So if you've been keeping up on facebook life is just plain crazy right now.  As of yesterday, we are officially homeless, as in we don't own a home.  But since I paid the "lease" for the next few weeks we are at least renters I guess.  We were able to sell our house to one of my best friends from high school. In the fall, I guess, we'd kind of joked around about her wanting our house, but she wasn't ready to buy and we really weren't ready to sell. So here we are, both of our situations have changed a bit (hello! I have 4 kids!) and we were able to make it all work.  It'll be nice to be able to come back to our first house and remember all of the great times here.

On the 22nd we are supposed to close on the new house we are purchasing. God gave us so much more house than we thought we'd get for less money than we thought we'd pay. And our house payment is going up by less than $200 per month.  Our new house is just another way God has been paving the way for our new family. We are so blessed and I am excited to be in the new place and settled.

We have a maybe adoption date for next week.  The paperwork was submitted to the court on May 16th and we are waiting to hear if the judge has read and approved the adoption so we can get our date. It'd be great for all this to happen before we move for more reason than one.  And as soon as the adoption is final, I can post picks of whomever and whatever I want on this blog without breaching privacy policies.  I am really excited to make a header (or have BJ make one) that has a family picture in it.  Just because I can.

We have a family vacation coming up in Kansas and the kids will get to meet a lot of my mom's family.  I have showed them pics of their cousins and aunts and uncles and they are so excited to have such a big family.  Before, I think they only had one aunt and 3 cousins. And I'm excited to introduce them and show them off.  Typical new mom, I guess.

So the theme of my month is change, and a lot of it.  Change is good. I didn't use to think so, but I've learned to trust God and the changes he is bringing to our family.  And its going to be good.  We can never get to God's best for us unless we are willing to leave the place we are, what is comfortable, and walk through the door to something new. Better.

God uses change to change us. He doesn't use it to destroy or to distract us but to coax us to the next level of character, experience, compassion, and destiny. -Beth Moore

Weekend Theme

Saturday night I went to the Saturday church service I talked about previously.  It was good and nice to be just someone in the crowd for once.  And then today I had church as usual at Radiant Life.  And God seemed to be saying the same thing to me over and over.  Before I get into that let me preface this by saying the sermon topics were not the same so if you were in all the church services, Sunday School class and prayer meetings that I was, you may not have seen the correlation that God was showing me. I have learned that God often speaks to me through speakers/preachers, but it isn't necessarily what they even said or what their point was.  It's just how God works, and I am so grateful he can use one sermon to speak to different people at different spiritual places. Now let me weave all this together for you the way God did for me.

Saturday night, the Pastor talked about friendships.  What he said that stuck out to me is that some of us don't have inner circle friends and are lonely.  And that's okay.  Grow closer to God and become the friend you want and God will bring them to you.  Then today Pastor was talking about the levels of the river of God in our lives.  He said God is calling us to not just be like other "Christians".  He wants us to go deeper and he has great purpose for us.  People won't always understand, but we have to seek God and go deeper in him anyways.  And then this afternoon the speaker mentioned craving God.  Getting more every day of God. 

So God's telling me its time to grow up spiritually. No more playing around and quite honestly, no more trying to win the approval of men.  It isn't men I am working for, but God. And being close to God can be a lonely place as far as physical friends.  But God is my sufficiency and supplies all I need to make up for the loneliness.  And in his time he will bring friends who challenge me spiritually, who push me closer to God and don't drag me down.

I won't lie, being lonely isn't fun. But God will provide, like he always does. And being close to God is worth it.

God, I hear you loud and clear. Grow me! Stretch me! Show me your ways! And draw me to you.

Pride vs Confidence

Pride lives on the defensive against anyone or anything that tries to subtract from its self-sustained worth. Confidence, on the other hand, is driven by the certainty of God-given identity and the conviction that nothing can take that identity away. ~ Beth Moore

Living in a Defensive Mode - Have you ever felt like you had to stand up for yourself or like you were constantly being attacked?  God doesn't want us to be walked all over and mistreated, but when we think we are responsible for defending our self worth or ego, we are walking in pride and not confidence.

Self-Sustained Worth - I think the reason we go in defensive mode is because we are trying to maintain something we created.  Not God, us. Pride is based on a self-sustained perception of our worth. Our value and worth is constantly being attacked, as women especially, because the devil knows he can get to us that way.  We try to be "Super Moms" and "Wonder Women" in an effort to prove we are valuable and we count.  All of these things are an attempt at sustaining the worth we think we have or we have created for ourselves and is not based on what God thinks of us.

Driven by Certainty - What motivates you?  A lot of times we are motivated by the attacks we feel we are under and so our mode is defensive again.  When we are motivated by the certainty, steadfastness, sure and firm character of God who created us, we are free from the burden or responsibility of proving our self-worth to others.  What they think doesn't really matter anyways.  Only God's opinion counts. I think a lot of women struggle with this, including me.  There is such an unspoken competition between moms and women and it is destroying us.  We compare ourselves to others and our kids to others and that is all driven by the self sustained worth and not by what God thinks of us. We have to choose to not care what others think (easier said than done) and find our drive, our motivation in what God says about us.

Our identity in God can not be taken away - God is protecting our identity in him and no one or nothing can change who we are in Christ, even us.  I think we look at who God says we are and look and where we've been and the mess we have made, and think we can change what God thinks.  It just isn't true.  I have many times in my life read through list upon list about who God says I am.  Because I know it is a constant struggle for me. And I still struggle with getting those scriptures, that identity from my head (where I know it to be true) to my soul (where it changes how I carry myself and how I respond to God and others.)

Today I choose (again) to start moving from pride in what I can do or who I am to confidence in who God made me to be.  Will you join me?

By Faith

Hebrews 11:1-2, 11-12 The Message

The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It's our handle on what we can't see. The act of faith is what distinguished our ancestors, set them above the crowd. 

By faith, barren Sarah was able to become pregnant, old woman as she was at the time, because she believed the One who made a promise would do what he said. That's how it happened that from one man's dead and shriveled loins there are now people numbering into the millions. 

A few years ago, maybe 3, I did a few things that to the natural mind, seemed foolish at the time but I knew God told me to do them, so I obeyed. It was a total act of faith on my part.

So now I am enjoying my pregnancy planner and maternity clothes I purchased then.  Seeing the end of the promise and the beginning of what God had planned for us now in this adventure we call life.

I am not naive enough to think that I got pregnant because I purchased those items, but I know God was wanting me to step out and I did.  And here we are.  I have always said, when it was God time, he would give us a baby and he has.  And we are so grateful.  Because God always knows what he is doing, even when we feel left in the dark alone, holding onto the last strand of the rope, praying He comes through soon.

All that to say, I know that not all of you are in the place where you see the end of the struggle, but keep holding on.  If we could feel God with us all the time or knew what he was going to do next, it wouldn't require us to trust him completely and put all our eggs in one basket, so to speak.  He is still God and He is still faithful and He hasn't forgotten you, but is working behind the scenes so that when the time comes, it will be a perfect fit for you according to His best!