Asking Why

I'm sure we've all done it. Asked God why we were faced with certain things in life that seem unfair. Why me? Why us? Why this? Why now?

When God gave us our kids 2 1/2 years ago I knew this would not be an easy road. They warn of the worse case scenario as you sit through all of those classes in order to get your license in order to adopt. They try to prepare you. And although our journey has been relatively easy comparatively, some days I can't help but ask God why things have to be so difficult for my kiddos.

Today we had a meeting with Haley's school about whether they would retain her in 4th grade or move her on to 5th. You may be surprised to know that I wanted her to retake 4th grade while the teachers and administrators were pushing to move her on. I really never thought I would have to fight to keep my child, who is not passing any classes, in her current grade for another year. I was really dreading the meeting. Not because I didn't already know what I felt was the best choice for her, but because I felt like I was being thrown to the wolves because I wanted my daughter to actually understand the concepts of 4th grade before she was faced with the next year. And the fact that I don't do confrontation well didn't easy my worry going in either.

So I struggled and prayed and tried to think through all of my thoughts last night (and surprisingly, I actually slept well). I prayed for favor and really was trusting God to lead my words and to let the decision be motivated by what was really best for Haley and not school funding or reputation or whatever alterior motives may have been on the table. In the end the assistant principle who initially wanted to  send Haley forward decided it would be best for them to give Haley and her to teachers another year to figure some things out and to work with her and the learning disability we only recently received diagnosis of and give her some time to mature in some other areas as well. 

I am so grateful for God's favor in this and that my girl is going to get the opportunity to strengthen her educational foundation before being promoted. I am really trusting God for a great year for her (and the other kids too) and am praying she can continue to do her best and that she can learn to trust God to help her too.

Last night as I was reading my Bible and asking God why we are going through this, he brought me to John 9:1-2. In this passage the disciples were trying to figure out why this man was born blind. They saw this as a punishment for sin and asked who was responsible. Sometimes, when our circumstances are not what we think they should be, we try to figure out what we could have done differently or what we did to deserve this. Many times we feel like we are bring punished when that just isn't the case. Jesus answered that this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life. I felt God speaking that this is the case for Haley. The diagnosis, the struggle, all of it is God setting things up so he can show up in a big way in her life.  Praise God!

We don't always know the why's of life, but even when things aren't clear to us we can trust that God is faithful and he is working things out in his way and his timing and according to his perfect plan.