Being a mom is hard and if anyone ever tells you anything different, they are lying to you. Those people should not be trusted. :) And I learned the hard way that my great solutions to every mothering problem was a bunch of fluff before I had kids to try them out on. But every once in a while, by the grace of God, I find a punishment or a motivation that works to move my kids in the right direction.
In response to my scripture memory challenge (and adding a $10 bribe each), all 3 of my kids learned Psalm 91 over a period of 6 weeks. You have no idea how excited I am to see God's word going into their hearts! I am very well aware that scripture memory alone does not change your attitude or the way you treat people, or teach you respect, but I also know that God's word WILL NOT, CAN NOT return void but will accomplish God's purposes in their lives.
So when my kids asked for another verse they could learn (and earn some money) I was more than happy to oblige. They will start learning Psalm 23 today, the KJV way that most Christians have learned it. I am generally a NIV girl, but I also know that it's kinda cool when people start referring to a verse you've learned in the version you learned it and it clicks in your brain. I think that will happen much more easily if they learn this particular passage in KJV.
We are also changing the way we do chores/allowance this week. I am well aware that some moms think they shouldn't pay their kids to do chores and I totally understand that view as well, but I also know that teaching kids the value of hard work is important. I don't want to buy them many of the things they want. Not because they are bad things, but because I don't see a use for them. I wasn't a typical kid. I chose mostly to play with educational things so I find no use with what I consider stupid toys and I totally don't get the boy weapon obsession. All that to say, if my kids want to buy something with their money that will make them happy, I feel like I should provide a way for them to earn such money to spend.
So starting today, there is a list of chores and the amount we will pay them to complete such chores. Up until this time, it has been kinda arbitrary. We ask them to do something, if they don't moan about it they earn money. They are not always excited and we aren't always consistent, depending on our moods, so it had kinda worked, but not as well as I'd like.
This new plan requires them to take initiative. If we have to ask someone to do the chore, they get to do it for free. I told them they can ask what needs to be done and we can tell them but we aren't going to harp on them to get it done. It's stressful. It's annoying and not what I want to do. So if they want the money, like they say they do, they will take initiative to seek out ways to earn money. And the list is a place to start. If they do the job poorly, they get one chance to fix it with better instruction and then they get to complete it for free. It is so hard for me to not just get frustrated about everything that needs to be done and to yell at them about it, so this is going to be a change for me. I want to take a backseat approach that gives them responsibility and gets things done around the house that I don't like without me having to get onto everyone to pitch in. There are somethings they are still required to do without pay (like make their beds and clean up their dishes after a meal) but there are also plenty of opportunities to earn money.
The other idea that actually works, kinda, is replacing grounding (which is really hard for me to enforce at this age since my kids don't really go anywhere without us anyways and it is so general) with copying scriptures a certain number of times. The number of times varies by kid and the verse varies with infraction. This is prevents them from doing what they want (playing) and makes them once again repeat/write scripture multiple times, which can't be wrong. Sometimes they act like they don't care but if I've chosen enough times, by the end they are getting weary, getting God's word in their hearts, and hopefully remembering what got them in the current predicament so they can make better choices.
Goodness, nothing works 100% of the time, but if it works most of the time, I'm golden.
Tonight the new chore method worked. The kids bathroom got cleaned, the closet got organized, dishes done, and base boards cleaned , and that all by the kids. Not a bad evening if I do say so myself.
Anyone have a great discipline/motivation technique that works for your kids?
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