Another Year

Each year I try to look back and think about what all has happened in those last 365 days. I don't usually write blogs or share all those thoughts (I don't think), but this year I think it's worth documenting.

Let me start out by saying the older you get the less significant each birthday becomes. Maybe that's why my previous years of reflection haven't been blog worthy. And why I didn't even remember it was my birthday until I got on facebook this morning. Or maybe we can blame that on too much going on right now. I mean we will become a family of 7 in less than a month.

I can look back at this past year, and more so even the past months and just see very clearly where God is changing me. I've been serving God for almost 27 years and yet, in this past 6 months, my relationship with God has grown so much. It's really hard to explain in words, but it has just been amazing. He's been speaking to me in new ways and using me for his glory and I just stand amazed at his goodness!

And he's helping me become a better mom for my kiddos who need better. By nature, I'm a perfectionist and that just doesn't work with my kids. I end up being disappointed and angry and spend all our "quality" time griping and complaining while telling them not to do the same. So God has mellowed me out some. I'm learning to pick my battles and help my kids without being so controlling. It's always a work in progress but I feel like I'm actually able to love my kids better, if that even makes any sense.

And I'm so proud of how far they have come. This weekend Haley decided she would start copying my sermon notes during church while I was taking notes to make sure she got everything.  She gives me hugs for no reason and has really seemed to connect with me recently (once I learned to back off a little). And while we were talking about Gage (their biological half brother), Daniel said he was glad that his mom learned to be responsible and make better choices so she could be a good mom for Gage. Such a grown up thing to say for a 10 year old. He is growing into such a kind young man. And Katelynn is becoming so independent. She has learned her multiplication facts over the summer with my mom in advance of her grade level. They are just growing up in front of my eyes.

And there are friendships that God has placed in my life that have just blossomed and strengthened me and encouraged me. People who God has used to speak into me and I into them and it has just changed me. I've never been one to have close friends, but God is changing that too. We don't go out often, if ever, but I can email/call them when I need them and they will offer encouragement and prayers and we hold each other up.

This has probably been the best year of my marriage to BJ yet. Marriage is hard, but he loves me in my craziness and has made my life better. He knows me, he gets me, and we have learned that we are better together than we could ever be apart. He is my leader and my rock and I am so grateful for him, especially in this last year! We've grown closer together by the grace of God.

It's just been a year of new things and changes I would never have pursued necessarily, but it has all been good. I'm really loving this life God has given me and am so grateful for another year. I'm excited to see what God does next!