One Woman Show

I do a lot, by choice. I don't delegate well and would rather just do it myself than bother someone else by asking them to help.

I think one of the reasons I hate changing things up is because I assume I will be the one to pick up the slack and/or adding more to my already full plate. I suppose it is some combination of pride and lack of great people skills that keeps me from asking others to pitch in. It's easier to just do it myself, but not always better.

So today when Pastor Sid asked me about helping him facilitate something for Sunday, I immediately tried to find the easiest option to accomplish his goal. He stopped me and chose a different option because it would give someone else a ministry opportunity in the church. I had honestly not even thought about someone else getting to help.

It's that "one woman show" mentality that not only keeps me busy, but it also keeps me distant. It robs others of the chance to feel needed and validated. To create connection to the church. I have never intentionally pushed others away, but by being so controlling of my responsibilities, by holding things so tightly, I have left others out.

And I wonder why no one else ever wants to help. What I have viewed as their inconvenience, is really the opportunity they've been looking for to connect and be a part.

Oh, God, forgive me for being so self focused. I thought I was doing what no one else wanted to do, when I was really just being selfish and not giving others the chance to serve.