I'm Not Scary.

I know that I'm not the friendliest person. I know that I come across as hard and intimidating. I know I'm not approachable. I know that my face looks mad, more often than not but I'm really not going to bite your head off if you approach me.

In reality, I'm probably focused on the task at hand. I'm probably going through my list in my head or making sure my kids are all accounted for.

I'm probably trying to use my time efficiently. I'm probably busy.

I'm probably intimidated by you. I'm probably thinking about what you think. I'm probably scared to approach you for fear you will reject me.

I am overly planned and yes, it throws me a little when someone interrupts my focus, but I really am trying to love people enough to be okay when my routine is broken. If I respond with frustration, it's my problem and has nothing to do with you.

If you take time to know me, you'll learn I can be a good friend. You'll learn that I never want to hurt someone or make them feel less than. You'll learn that I memorize facts about people to show I care. You'll learn that I value honesty and real friendship.

I know that all of this is based on my need to survive according to my standards. These are tactics I've developed to protect myself. And God is calling me to let my guard down.

To love without expecting anything in return. To be genuinely concerned for people and not just me and mine. God has to help me because I can't do this on my own. It is not my natural instinct. But that has to change.

Because I am His and I have to be about His business and not my own.