Friday and Saturday we're particularly hard for me. Let me start by saying this is my stressful time at work so anything that would normally be frustrating is expounded by my quick fuse and impatience right now.
Friday night I overreacted and yelled at my kid. Yes they were being rude, yes I am the parent, and yes I crossed the line. I was not in control of the situation and I should have been. I lost my temper. After we all cooled down and the kids went outside I sat in the house and told myself how horrible of a parent I am and the devil sure had a time with my emotions.
Saturday, I worked half a day, then went on an unsuccessful errand run. I got home tired, defeated, and just done. I proceeded to sulk. In the meantime, my children who had long sense forgiven me, worked in my flower bed, planting new flowers my awesome husband bought me as a surprise. I was inside playing with Julia, which honestly I didn't want to be doing, but I felt I deserved to miss out on the family fun and this was my punishment. In a room, playing kitchen with an 18 month old and feeling sorry for myself. Let's just say I was borderlines depressed by this point and really just wanted to be left alone and cry it out. But I didn't even have that luxury.
I wanted someone to come tell me I was loved, valuable, worth their time, and no one came to my rescue.
I heard God whisper, "What are you doing? Grow up!" Caught me a little off guard and took me back to all the times I've taught people to not give the devil a foothold. All the times I told them in the depths of battle, use God's word against the enemy. All those times I've encouraged others to make a choice to worship God in the valley in order to gain the victory over Satan.
And here I was, speaking death and despair over my own life and situation rather than life that only comes from God. So I started quoting scripture to myself and the devil. I started worshipping. And the presence of God replaced my tears with the joy only found in his presence.
All because I made a choice. A choice we are each capable of making.
Goodness, im sure I'm not the only one who needs to grow up spiritually and stop waiting for a rescuer to pray us out of our struggle. Stop telling people how to fight the attacks of the devil and actually do some warfare.
The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptations to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so you can endure. I Corinthians 10:13 NLV
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