Deliver

The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him and He delivers them.~Psalm 34:7

As I was reading my Bible tonight, God led me to do some quick word meaning studies and the Holy Spirit showed me something awesome.

Encamp - to pitch a tent, abide. So when God sends his angels to surround you, it isn't a temporary assignment, but their new full time job. As God's messengers, it is now in their job description to surround you, to protect you from the enemy and his schemes until God gives them a new assignment.

Deliver - The definition of this word is multifaceted. The main definition is to remove or withdrawal. I think when most people read this they think about God removing them from a difficult circumstance or making things easier for them (or maybe this is just what we want to think, because face it, it'd be nice if God would just pick us up from the middle of our struggle and remove us from it completely.) The secondary definitions include to equip and to make strong. So in this verse God is promising to equip us and make us strong for the battle and not simply to remove us from it. He is giving us strength to fight, strength to stand against whatever arrows the devil wants to throw our way.  Because deliverance is not just about getting out of the trouble we are in, but learning to fight our way through it in the strength that God gives us. Because the fighting makes us ready for the next battle. Learning to trust God more grows us and stretches us to become more like Jesus intends for us to be.

So today, I will trust God, knowing that when I am in the middle of a struggle, he is delivering me, equipping me and giving me the strength to be victorious.

Fear

Ever been scared? I would dare say we all have. Our Sunday School lesson today was about fear. I think many of us (women especially, although I'm sure men could do this too) carry a lot of burdens we don't need to. A lot of our stress is the fact that we are afraid of the future, afraid of how our kids will turn out, afraid of the lack of provision, afraid for our marriages.  We can say we fear the future or we fear we will fail, but I don't think that is really the source. God showed me that each of these fears is a different way we fear that God will reject us. 

We are afraid of the future and fear that God won't keep his word.

We are afraid of the choices our kids will make or if they will serve God or not because we are afraid that God's promises won't come true.

We are afraid that we won't be able to pay our bills because we are afraid God won't provide for us.

Whatever promise God has given you, you don't need to be afraid that God will forget you or overlook you, but you can rest assured in his promise.  He will not reject you by failing to keep his word. You aren't the exception to the character of God. 

So don't accept the fear that has overcome your life. Choose to trust God, completely, knowing he will not reject you because he loves you too much for that.

Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus
Just to take him at his word.
Just to rest upon his promise.
Just to know thus saith the Lord.

Jesus Jesus how I trust him.
How I've proved him o'er and o'er
Jesus Jesus, precious Jesus.
Oh for grace to trust him more.

Simple Songs

This week Seth has opted for no radio in the car. (Yes, my 20 month old dictates whether we listen to the radio or a CD or nothing based on his response) So instead we have been singing without accompaniment. The favorites have been This is the Day and Rejoice in The Lord Always. Sometimes he just listens and others he sings along or claps, pats his legs, etc. It puts him in a good mood and is a nice reminder to take each day one at a time, acknowledging that God is in control.  I have a choice about how my day will go. No, I don't determine the circumstances, but I get to decide if I will choose to rejoice despite the circumstances or begrudgingly make my way through whatever that day brings. It's been nice to slow things down and keep things in perspective. It's amazing how much difference a few simple songs can make.

Super Sunday

Today was a great day in the house of God, although the circumstances of the day could definitely have led to different results. Bj had to work today. It doesn't happen very often, but when it does, my already busy Sunday goes into overdrive. I take on some of his responsibilities when he isn't there. We were able to get the praise and worship songs early, so Bj created the PowerPoint presentation in advance and it really saved me a lot of frustration and time. We got up at the normal time and were at church, breakfast in hand, at 8:30. I was able to get everyone fed and the computer setup and make it to staff prayer. Nothing blew up, and no trouble shooting was needed in either service. Yeah!

In addition, God really showed up today. In the staff prayer meeting God used me in the gift of prophecy for the first time. It was awesome and definitely an answer to prayer! Then in the morning service Haley received the baptism of the Holy Spirit with the evidence of speaking in tongues. Pastor gave the invitation and no one was responding. Her and I were having a semi quiet conversation from the stage where I was sitting at the piano to her seat on the second row. She got enough courage to be the first person to respond. After that others felt comfortable to respond. There were 4 people who were filled with the Spirit today. After it was over her response was "I am not afraid of Jesus now" and she immediately changed from an observer to a worshipper. I love her and love the way she is growing spiritually. I want all my kids to be so in love with Jesus that they don't care what anyone says but are worshippers from the heart. It has made so much difference in my life and I pray it will make a difference for her too.

In the afternoon service DeAnn shared a very personal message and it was really good. The main thought was that no matter what we've been through or how many times we fail God, he still wants us to give him everything. He loves and forgives and is able to use even the vessel that we see as broken and scarred for his glory. Praise God!

Its been a good day overall, even if Bj missed it all because he had to be at work.

This week Seth will get his first experience of day care for 2 days while my MIL goes on a trip with her friend to San Antonio. I am glad she is getting a break and am sure Seth will do fine, even if he cries a little bit initially. He is such a social boy and loves to play. I am excited for him! The big kids are starting their second week of daycare at KidsRKids and I am really impressed with them so far. (I put them in daycare for 4 weeks over the summer so they can go on field trips and give the grandmas a break. 4 kids all day long is a lot, so we try to break it up over the summer.)

We are getting hard wood floors in a couple of weeks so I'm in the process of packing up knickknacks from my front rooms so they can move furniture to install. I am ready to have that project behind us so we can move back in to our living space.

Seth is at such a fun age. He is starting to repeat EVERYTHING and is such a delight. He will be 20 months old tomorrow. He has his moments where he wants to throw a fit like he's two, but we can overlook that because he is just so cute most of the time.

Daniel is playing basketball for the YMCA and he is loving it. Yes, their team lost both of the first games badly, but they are learning more every game and we have no where to go but up. We are enjoying watching and helping as we can. I think we will continue this each summer if things continue as they have.

I preached last Sunday and really feel like it went well. I am already ready to do it again. It is definitely a learning curve for me, but I feel like I am getting better and if God can use me, I want to be willing to do whatever he asks.

Alright, I have you updated on all fronts I believe. I am trying to post more, but there are just some parts of my life that demand my attention more than this blog.

Are you washed?

This morning I had this old hymn in my head.

Are you washed

in the blood

in the soul cleansing blood of the Lamb?

Are your garments spotless?

Are they white as snow?

Are you washed in the blood of the Lamb?

For someone who was raised in church, this seems like such a given almost. But do I/we really get what this means?  Probably not.

I CAN'T DO IT!!

I think the hardest thing for us to get our minds wrapped around is the fact that no matter how much I do for God, no matter how "good" I am, I cannot wash myself of my sins. I cannot earn God's forgiveness or cleansing. It's impossible. My sins are worthy of death and I can't change that no matter how hard I try.

GOD MAKES ME WORTHY!!

And once we get that we can't and never will be good enough by our own doing, we have a hard time accepting the fact that because of the sacrifice of Jesus, because of his blood, we are worthy of the sacrifice Jesus gave. We are worthy by his grace and mercy.

Because of the blood, which washes away our past, which makes us new in Christ, we can come boldly before God, knowing that he sees us clothed in his righteousness.

And he says we are worth every sacrifice, every drop of blood.

And what He says is all that matters.

Silence

It's been a while since I blogged really from my heart other than sharing things about the kids. This is partly due to the fact that I have been dealing with kids stuff and partially because I didnt really have much to share, spiritually speaking.

I am preaching again at my church on Sunday July 6th and have really been just trying to get some direction from God about what he would have me to share. I still don't have total clarity but am trying to differentiate what God is teaching me for me and what is for the church body. I feel like I know how the Spirit wants to minister but not quite sure how God wants me to get there. I am sure God will lead me as he always does, but it just isn't all together yet. If you think about it, please pray for me as I try to get it all at least some what together. I know God wants me to trust him to lead, but would really like to be able to prepare a little more between now and then so that I can follow however he leads that day.

My parents were out of town yesterday and I led worship in their place. I really wasn't as nervous as I usually am and really feel like I was able to worship more freely and therefore lead the people into worship better than times before. I am so thankful for God's anointing that goes before me and makes a way.

I plan to blog some about vacation soon. Maybe this weekend. And that blog will even have pictures. I am sure you are waiting on pins and needles for that. We had a greats time, but more on that later.

Happy Birthday Daniel!

How is it possible that as of today I have a 10, 9, and 7 year old and a 19 month old? My sweet Daniel turns 9 today.  They are all growing up so much, but since Daniel is the topic of this post, I want to take a moment and document how much my boy has changed. 

If you're new to my blog (and I'd guess that is very few of you if any at all), I have only had the privilege of being Daniel's mom for 2 years 8 months and 9 days. We adopted he and his older and younger sisters a few years back. I remember when we first met him, he was all smiles. His foster dad said something about Daniel that I will never forget. He said "When Daniel hugs you, you can really feel it." In other words, he loves deeply. I have since found this to be true in all areas of life. 

Daniel lives life to the fullest. He is completely loyal almost to a fault. He is very passionate and will defend his family and close friends to the death. This can be problematic when a simple bump turns into an intentional attack in his mind, but we are working on forgiving others and giving others second chances.

He is very gentle and sweet with Seth. Having a little brother has brought out the best in him. It has taught him that he is a leader and others are watching him. This has helped him learn to make better decisions. He is looking forward to the day when they can share a room and have bunk beds. He is such a good big brother.

Daniel is very compassionate with people he sees need help. His teacher told me that he stayed with the new kid at school all day, even giving up his recess to pat him on the back until he was okay and had stopped crying. He has the biggest heart!

Daniel is very good with math and his brain works so fast he struggles with showing his work or explaining how he got the answer, but he is usually right. He is also a very good reader. I expect that if he can get a work a bit on being distracted and paying attention that he will be an honor roll student next year.

Daniel, you seemed so little when we first met, but you at definitely growing up. You are learning to be a gentleman from your daddy and are a delight to have around. You are my oldest son and have taught me what that special bond between a mom and son is all about.  It excites me to hear you talking about helping Daddy lead the men's fellowship where you get a little older. I pray you will learn to love God more each day and never lose your compassion for others. You are loving them like God does and it is a gift that not everyone has. I love you, my big, strong Daniel!