God Comes While We Wait

Earlier in the week, I started looking at my Sunday School lesson and God really spoke to me. If you are in my Sunday School class consider yourself warned for the upcoming spoiler.

We all know the story of Sarah and Abraham. God had promised them a son and many descendants and they waited about 25 years before they saw God's promise fulfilled. What I'd never really thought about was the way God showed himself to them during the time of waiting.

It was during these years that God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah and rescued Lot in answer to Abraham's prayer. This was to show them that nothing is impossible with God.

It was also during the wait that Sarah found favor with Abimelech. When he pursued her ( believing that Sarah was Abraham's sister) God punished Abimelech by closing the wombs of his wife and maids. Abraham, whose own wife was barren, prayed for God to open their closed wombs and God heard him. This showed Abraham and Sarah very clearly that nothing is impossible, even the opening of barren wombs (the very thing they were struggling to believe God could do.)

So God intentionally showed himself to them while they were waiting on his promise to remind them that he is God and to encourage them to hold on a little longer. Why? Because he knew that waiting isn't easy, but that it is worth it in the long run.

I go back to our time of waiting, when we were dealing with unexplained infertility. During the waiting, God led us to adopt our three beautiful children. Three children who already had family names from our family. Three children who look just like us and fit us perfectly. Yes, these children were a miracle of their own, but they were also a reminder to us that God was still faithful and he was still going to be faithful to his promise to us.

And 5 months later, we found out we were pregnant!

So be encouraged! God is faithful to his word and he will very intentionally speak and move even as you wait to encourage and remind you that he loves you and will keep his promises!

Hope and a Future

I think one of the hardest things to change about someone else is their drive. I am and always have been very driven. Once I knew what I wanted, I have planned my course of action and gone for it. But I don't really know what makes some people driven and hard workers and others unmotivated and just going through the motions, unable to see past the current to the future.

Recently, Daniel's thinking has changed from one day at a time to more forward thinking. He's been talking about and trying to decide what he wants to be when he grows up and what college he wants to go to and things like that. I know he is just at that age where those things interest him, but it excites me that he's started to dream and have hope and ideas about his future.

Currently he wants to be a police officer. Although that isn't really my first choice for him (for obvious mommy fear reasons), but it is good for him to have aspirations. And it makes this mom happy that the City of Arlington requires police officers to have a 4 year degree (this may be common for all cities, but I just saw this on a career posting lately). We've discussed how when you have a dream, you need to figure out what you need to do to accomplish that and what steps have to be taken to get there. Although I know he doesn't love school, he's shown some maturity by realizing that he has to be willing to do whatever it takes to get where he wants to be. It isn't always what you would choose, but the dream will be worth the work. He is currently wanting to live at home and go to UTA after high school. He wants to be close to us so if he has problems with school, we can help him. I know he doesn't realize how life will be different then and he will be smarter and able to do things on his own, but I'm just glad he has learned to dream and have hope for the future.

Life is so sad when there is no future to look forward to or hope for what could be. I am so glad that God has hope for us even when we don't and he has great plans for our future.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord "plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."

Just Acting

Today has been a day of self reflection for me. And my conclusion is that I was way too good of an actor as a child. Where people saw me as confident, I was really very intimidated and shy. Yes, there at certain things that come naturally for me, but I never wanted that to make people feel inferior or not good enough around me.

So I've thought about whether my actions have led people to be intimidated by me or if it has happened in spite of what I've said or done.  I really don't know except to say that is not my heart. If you'll stay around me long enough to hear my heart, you'll learn that I want to encourage others to do things they think are impossible and never to make anyone feel like they aren't good enough.

I know we all do it on some level, but we should really try to not compare ourselves to others. The devil really likes us to go there and he will use it against us. No matter how good it looks, we never really know someone else's motives or their struggles. If it looks like someone has it all together, chances are they don't. Things at never as easy as they seem.

Food Wars

Since birth Seth has been a pretty easy child. Not perfect but pretty much a sweet smiley little guy. The only exception has been when he has been teething , which even that has been easier than some stories I've heard.

But the kid won't eat for me. I am trying to get him to eat sitting at the table with the family for dinner, but it usually turns into a screaming fit. I try to just ignore him and go on, but this is definitely getting old. My sister in all her wisdom says that feeding a toddler is all a mind game. I would be okay with this if he was just a little better at speaking and communicating to us, telling us what he wants. I am not beyond bribing him at least short term until he realizes that sitting in a chair (or on a booster) will not lead to some type of slow painful death. You should hear his screams. It is just pathetic, especially for a child that is normally easy going.

In the past few days I have realized that rewarding him works, but he has to believe you will actually do what you promised and be able to actually see the reward. For example, he wouldn't eat his chicken nuggets at Burger King with the reward of playing until he was actually sitting in the room with the playground watching other kids play. Tonight he wouldn't eat until we went outside so he could sit st the picnic table with the promised bubbles in hand. Traditionally him seeing the reward has backfired and made his fit get louder and more dramatic, but no it with this.

Seriously that child is 23 months going on 4. He just thinks he is so big. His language has just exploded lately and he is so fun! If we can just figure out the food wars we would be good. I feel like I've tried everything, but would love to hear any advice you experienced moms have. He is my baby, but these are new waters for me. This is one of the many things that make me thankful that we got our older kids when they were past this stage. It also makes me seriously consider if we want a 5th child or not.

Prepare

Sundays seem to be the easiest day for me to update on the happenings at the Fowler house, so here we go again. Friday I had three parent teacher meetings (it's that time of year again) and they went okay. I think the hardest thing for me at these meetings is the surprises.  My kids seem to be doing well and their grades are overall better than previous years, but there is always something that surprises me. I often leave feeling like I'm either being lied to by my kids or that the teachers aren't very good communicators.  If my child is really having an issue, I don't really understand why we go an entire 6 weeks without any communication home. Either way, I'm trying to learn to take everything lightly, and just understand that they don't know how my child is/was before so what they can't understand or are concerned about in many times is progress from previous years. (Does that even make any sense?) Don't want to get myself overthinking it all again, so I'll move on.

Today in church I got lost in worship. I am not sure that has ever happened to me before when I was playing the piano. I try to worship, but there is usually some conscience effort to remember what I'm playing (especially if I have my eyes closed) or to kind of pay attention to the worship leader or think through the next chord or lyric. But today, there was a moment, maybe a few minutes, where I totally forgot I was playing piano and I just worshiped from the deepest part of me. I wasn't singing the chorus, but was just praying/singing as the Spirit led me. I honestly don't know if I played all the right notes or clunked my way through, but it was amazing! I got a taste of what I think God truly desires from me. Now if I can learn to get there more often, I really believe God will get the honor he deserves from me. God is so awesome!

At church, there has been a growing sense of God's presence and an anticipation of God doing something big soon. This means there has been increased spiritual hunger and the moving of God's Spirit has been so sweet. That also means the devil is fighting members of our church harder and the attacks are coming stronger or more frequently for some. It seems that when God is about to move, there is a great divide among the church.  There are those who are getting in to what God is doing more, entering into worship more, spending more time with God, and there are those who are shrinking back, who are feeling more alone and more discouraged. We keep hearing the word preparation and the theme of getting ready for what God has in store next. 

And tonight as I read my Bible I was brought to these verses in Isaiah 40:3-5

A voice of one calling: "In the wilderness prepare the way for the LORD; make straight in the desert a highway for our God. Every valley shall be raised up, every mountain and hill made low; the rough ground shall become level, the rugged places a plain. And the glory of the LORD will be revealed, and all the people will see it together. For the mouth of the LORD has spoken."

There are a couple of things God is speaking to me:

God wants us to prepare the way and get ready for him in the wilderness and valley. Usually when we think of God coming or a King making a grand appearance, we think about the beautiful palace or the royal gardens or a place that is green and full of life. But God wants to make an appearance, to show his glory even in the wildernesses and deserts. He is rearranging our lives, the valleys, the mountains, the rough grounds so that his glory can be seen in us, in the midst of the dryness and the struggles of life. He isn't waiting for everything to be perfect and then he will make an appearance. He wants his glory to saturate the valleys and the wilderness and bring life and breath to the parts of our lives that are dead and dry.

The glory of the LORD will be revealed. God is not asking our permission or deciding if he will make his presence, his glory, the awesomeness of him known to us. He has made up his mind and is waiting for us to be ready to accept him when he comes. We have to get prepared so he can have his way when he comes in his fullness in our lives.

God has spoken his word and will not change his mind. He is God and he doesn't lie. He doesn't speak and not act or promise and not fulfill. He will do it.

We have to chose to be a part of it. If we choose to shrink back or be more discouraged or tired, we may miss what God has for us. 

I am not belittling the exhaustion that can come when we are constantly struggling with the trials and circumstances of life. But I am saying you have to chose to either let God refresh you with his presence, trust him enough to lay down the burden and be prepared for the coming of his anointing and presence or miss what God is doing. He loves you and he wants you to be a part of it, but he can't force you. So choose to let God prepare you for his anointing that is coming for your benefit.

I preached at my church a couple of weeks ago on becoming weapons of righteousness. I have since watched the DVD of the sermon 3-4 times and I am really enjoying it (not because I prepared well or put it all together, but I can see where God was weaving it all together as I spoke.) I like to watch myself because when you are in the moment and preaching/ministering a lot of the time you have no idea what you said (or at least I don't apart from the main ideas in my notes.) When BJ gets it uploaded to the church website, I'll be sure to share a link here so you can watch it if you'd like. (Not for my glory, but for His).

Now its off to bed for me. My early bed time has turned late again, but I had to get some of that written down. Have a great week!

The Girl Who Cried Wolf

My house is full of drama. Full of it. I love my kids dearly, but they sure know how to over-exaggerate EVERYTHING. BJ and I have decided that Haley is probably the most dramatic right now. And that is saying a lot because Katelynn is dramatic in her own right, usually on the side of being silly and funny.

Haley, however, is always in need of a doctor and the ER. Tonight within 30 minutes she had "broken" her toe, ran into the cupboards and hurt her foot. The thing with her is that everything is a serious issue and yet she continues being rough or doing whatever it was that caused the injury. (On a serious note, when she broke her wrist, I didn't know whether to believe her or not and it took the school nurse prodding me to get me to take her to get xrays and sure enough it was broken.)

Tonight Haley hurt her foot trying to do cartwheels in the living room. After the "injury" she was fine, walked over to the couch, sat down, read her Bible and by the time everyone was done sharing what they had learned, she couldn't move to get off of the couch. She slowly limped up the stairs, whimpering the whole time, and then laid on her bed in an odd way so her foot would be elevated. She was convinced that tomorrow I would have to take off work and take her to the doctor. BJ diagnosed her with footicus dramaticus. About 40 minutes later she came down stairs itching and wanting some lotion. I asked her about her foot. She said it didn't hurt any more. I couldn't help but start laughing. It made her mad, understandably so. She knows she overreacts and I can't believe her reactions, but she can't help herself.

I really do love that girl and she brings a smile to my face, but I really have a hard time knowing when she is overreacting and when she is really hurt.

If nothing else, she serves as good entertainment! Crazy girl!

Young Adults Sunday School Class

The class the BJ and I teach on Sunday mornings has officially been called college/career since it was started. In theory it is supposed to be the class people go to when they graduate high school and before they become "real adults" (whatever that is supposed to mean.) With that being said, there has never really been a point of promotion from our class. That means the class has evolved several times to be applicable to whomever the current audience is. 

We started with a group of girls who had been tossed around to a few different teachers who they either ran off or left teaching for whatever reason. I had known them all basically since birth, and they were all raised in the church like I was. Some from that group have gotten married and moved on and others just don't come for whatever reason, so none of the original class is there any more. Then it moved into a new group of recent high school graduates (mainly 2 guys) and a friend of mine who has chosen to be in that class (even though she doesn't really fit the target audience and she knows that and is okay with that.) Recently, we have grown to 3-4 young married couples with a couple of outliers.

It is really very different to teach to a group of people who you haven't known forever or haven't been in the same church with forever. I am really enjoying teaching them, but it is definitely different. It  has been good for me to learn to teach from a more foundations based level. Not on a lower level, but also not assuming they know the word or what my personal spiritual walk has been or what God has taught me. They aren't the most talkative bunch, but they seem interested and engaged, so that helps the teacher. 

The recent change in our Sunday School class is due to the way God is growing our church and I love being a part of it. For a while, I felt like there were only a few married couples our age that were in the same stages of life as we were. (I'm sure that was pre-kids). Now, I'm seeing more and more couples coming with kids and I really feel like I connect with more of them. Not really on a close BFF level, but more on an understanding of life level. And having kids has made me connect on a different level with some of the new families. I love how God puts us all together. In the past month or so the nursery has grown from Seth to 5 regulars from 0-2. I love it! I want him to have church friends to grow up with.

Times are changing, God is moving, and growth is happening! Praise God.

Young Man

Daniel has made it the entire 6 weeks without a single folder sign. Last year he made it 1 week the entire year. He is getting it! He is a rock star!  I am so proud of him. He has become my helper around the house and is often found emptying or filling the dishwasher or asking if he can help with other things around the house.

He is still struggling with organization at school, but with him doing better staying on task I know he will get it.

Last Sunday during church he was writing a letter to God. I won't share the details of what it said because that's kind of a private thing, but it showed that he is seeking God and hungry for God to reveal himself to my young man. I know God hears him but we are working on encouraging Daniel to know that God does love him and he can never do anything that will change that. Coming from his background, he needs a lot of reassurance.

I've been praying that God will speak to him clearly so he knows he is not forgotten. My son is turning into a great young man! I know that if he keeps trying to hear God, God will speak.

Night and Day

We are 6 weeks into school and I am just amazed how easy it has been. Something happened to Haley over the summer and she is growing up right before my eyes. I don't know if she's finally coming into her own because she is in intermediate school, or she's just learned that it feels good to work at something and succeed, or if the help she is getting at school has changed her work ethic. Or God. Yeah, probably all of that but mostly God.

She started the school year out with a bang and quickly learned  how much studying she needed to do to make 100s on her vocabulary test and has continued to keep up the work. She is passing every subject and with a little more work could be a A-B student. She'll get there.

On Sunday night we worked on a reading comprehension project that I dreaded would be a struggle. But she proved she's maturing by sitting right down and we worked through it one question at a time. No fighting, no begging or pleading or yelling. It was great!!

It hasn't all been that peachy, but for the most part she is doing her work and doing great! So much better than previous years. Final grades for the first 6 weeks aren't in but I think she has 1 A, 1 B, and 2 high Cs. I am so proud of her. She is strong and she's a fighter so I know she is going to do great things!