Tales of a Novice Mommy: First Edition

No, I am not a mom, yet, but I was one for the weekend. We had the kids. I am the first to admit that I don't have a clue what I am doing. Yes, I worked daycare for a few years in college and I work with kids a lot at church, but when you are not used to it, you don't think all the way through your choices before you make them. Case and Point: On Saturday we were invited to go to Spring Creek at lunch with my sister and the gang before they left to go back home to the Chicago area. We had a gift card, so I figured I would use it. The problem was that B.J. had the card in his wallet and he was at work, so if I wanted to use the card, I had to load up the kids, go see B.J. at work and get it from him. Now, the kids are 4 and 2 so getting in and out of the car isn't as big of a deal as if they were babies. They are really good kids, and are generally very helpful when I ask them to be. The problem started when we walked into Wal-mart. I had decided that I would take the most direct route to sporting goods so we could make this exchange as quick as possible. We went in the end door and started walking to the back. After I proceeded to lead them directly through the toy section I realized this could turn bad very quickly. D decided rather quickly that I should buy him a toy. I told him that wasn't going to happen today and we kept walking. N was happy to just see all the Tinkerbells and Princesses, so no problem there. D didn't really put up a fight, so I figured the issue was over and we proceeded to walk back to sporting goods to find B.J. I got the gift card and when we started walking back to the front of the store, D decided he was mad at me. Not a big dramatic fit kind of mad, but worse. The silent treatment. You know, the kind where they won't talk to you, won't acknowledge what you are saying and refuse to be near you. (I secretly think he's been taking lessons from B.J. because he is the master at the silent treatment.) So, I was basically disowned by a 4 year old at Walmart. I was the mean mommy. I kept my eye on him as N and I walked towards the front. Of course we walked out almost the way we came, so he had to go down the toy aisle again (at this point, I was following him, but giving him some space since he was mad) and this time I saw tears. He was not happy with me, but I had made my decision. Now one thing my mom has taught me is that rewarding kids when they act out or whine is just not an option. I don't want to teach my kids this is how they get their way. I reassured him that I loved him but today the answer was no. He was still silently crying, but he gave me a hug and held my hand as we walked out of the store. About that time, N decided that I should hold her. I told her no, that she was a big girl and she could walk. She doesn't like the word no, as I am sure is true of most 2 year olds so she decided she would cry and throw herself down on the floor in the middle of the doorway. I told her that we were leaving and when she was ready to walk she could join us. Her little fit didn't last long since she saw it wasn't going to work. So for the first time ever, I was that parent. The one everyone is staring at and either laughing at or sympathizing with because they've been there before. And I survived. Lesson Learned #1: Don't walk the kids through the toy department unless you intend on buying them something or are ready to have that discussion with your 4 and 2 year old, because they will ask you. I want to publicly apologize to anyone that I gave parental advice to before. I was out of my ever-loving mind to think I had a clue. I really was just trying to help, but I have realized that sometimes there is nothing else you can do but smile. Parenting is a lot easier on paper than in practice. Yes, I can be consistent and I can try everything I know, but sometimes, nothing works. And you have to be able to smile at the situation and go on.