The three states of Seth

I love wide awake baby pictures. Love them. So most of my pics posted on facebook are of Seth wide awake.  And I often get comments about how alert he is and questions about if he is like that all that time and if he sleeps at all.  So to answer those questions, let me describe for you the three states of Seth: Asleep, Alert, Hungry.

Since birth pretty much when Seth is awake he has been very alert with wide open eyes and just looking around taking everything in.  He isn't ever really half awake or looking sleepy. He is pretty much either awake or asleep. He is quite content to be laying on the floor or in my lap just looking around for a few hours at a time.  This makes him a pretty easy baby.  He isn't generally fussy or requiring to be held all the time which I am so grateful for.   I prayed for a gentle easy going baby to offset my three dramatic children, and I figured it was possible with a laid back dad like BJ, and I'm so glad that so far it looks like God is answering my prayers.

2 Days Old

3 Days Old

12 Days Old

Seth is a great sleeper.  When he is asleep he is totally out.  I have had to wake him to feed him every night since he was born. And it had been very hard to get him to wake up long enough to feed and keep him awake.  He always ends his meals with a nice long nap that starts in the middle of eating.  I have to do a lot of prompting to keep him awake. I never thought I'd be the mom to wake my kid to feed him, but when he lost a little more than he should right after birth, that changed.  He's just recently started waking up when he was hungry so I could feed him, so I am glad for that.

About the only time Seth is fussy is when he is hungry. He goes from perfectly content to searching for his next meal pretty quickly.  He is getting hungry more often which is good, especially for a guy who was so little when he was born. And he is mastering the art of latching on, so feedings aren't taking an hour and a half for him to eat 20 minutes like they used to.  (And let me tell you that will wear any new mother out in a heartbeat. I may do a whole post on how breastfeeding is going later.)

We are so blessed by our little man and I am so excited to see the man of God he will become.

He's Here!

Unless you have been living under a rock somewhere or are not a facebook friend or don't keep up with our family via facebook or other means, you probably know by now that God blessed us with Seth Edward Fowler on November 14, 2012 at 1:02.  He was 19.5 inches long and weighed 6 lbs 10.

4 ounces at birth. 

I am going to try and retell his birth story as best as I can remember.  It's really interesting how you dream of the day you give birth and when it is all said and done, the details don't really matter as much and a lot is forgotten.

We were scheduled to be induced at 4:30 that morning.  We arrived at the hospital on time to find that my inlaws were already there.  That kinda surprised me especially since what I've heard about inductions is that it can take a while and I didn't expect much to happen until at least late morning. Not a problem at all, I just didn't expect to see anyone else for a few hours.

We got checked in and I changed into the hospital gown. The nurses came in to get my IV going. As soon as I said I had good veins the nurse told me I shouldn't have said that.  Sure enough, it took three tries to get the IV going.  And in the middle of that I started over thinking things and passed out. I guess I was looking pale and the nurse asked me if I was okay.  I said "yes" shortly followed by "not really."  If you know me at all, this is not an uncommon occurrence.  I've probably passed out 20 times over the years, usually over blood and guts kind of things. I just gross myself out I guess. Anyways, once I got the blood back in my head the external monitors they had for Seth told them that he wasn't recovering like they wanted him too.  His heart beat had gone down into the 60s after I passed out and just wasn't coming back up very fast.  Before I knew it I had about 5 nurses in my room moving me from side to side, lowering the head of the bed and anything else they could do to get Seth's heart rate back up.  They didn't seem panicked so it didn't worry me at all.  Looking back, I should have been worried, and it must have been the peace of God that carried me through those few minutes.

After the scare with Seth's heart-rate, they waited an hour or so before starting the Pitocin.  They wanted to make sure he was going to behave before they increased the contractions.  And he did. Pitocin was started about 6 am and Dr. Wiegman broke my waters at about 8.  My goal going in was to not get an epidural.  Both my mom and sister had really quick labor and so I figured I could do the same.  But I hadn't totally ruled it out based on how hard it was for me.  At about 10, I had been having contractions every 2-3 minutes that lasted a minute or so for and hour and a half.  And I just couldn't get comfortable in the bed.  I had an audience at that point (mom, inlaws, Shay) and really wasn't comfortable getting out of the bed in a hospital gown, so I endured back labor in the bed. And Seth's heart rate was being temperamental all morning.  Every time I would try to move to a different side, they would either lose his heart rate on the monitors or his heart rate would drop and the nurses would run in to make sure he was fine. So for all purposes I was stuck in the bed in one position that wasn't particularly comfortable through contractions.  We decided to kick everyone out of the room and see if I could get in a comfortable position that would help me endure the contractions, but it just wasn't happening. I was told that if I wanted an epidural I needed to decide since the anesthesiologist was going to be tied up at 12:30 for a C Section.  I thought I was only dilated to 4-5 centimeter at that point (BJ thinks it was 5-6) and I couldn't even imagine another 6 hours of this just to get to the point I could push. So I bit the bullet and got the epidural. They upped the Pitocin at the same time I was getting the epidural so I had to endure 3-4 contractions that were more intense than the others while trying to remain still so they could give me the epidural.  I remember being mad through 2-3 contractions because I could still feel them until the medicine kicked in.  But after that, it was smooth sailing. I really didn't care about anything at that point. Everyone came back in the room and we visited for an hour or so. They were able to up the medication more quickly since I wasn't feeling a thing and I dilated quite quickly.  At 12:30, everyone was kicked out again and the nurse checked me and said we were ready to push. I pushed for a while with the nurse and Dr. Wiegman came in shortly after. Seth was born at 1:02 pm.  So all in all I was in labor for about 7 hours.  Not bad at all, especially after the epidural. I was totally numb through the pushing and being stitched up afterwards. I had an episiotomy and tore some additionally.

We came home on Friday and have been doing really well since then. I only had pain meds twice at the hospital and then nothing since I've been home. Overall I would say it was a pretty easy delivery and recovery and things are going as good as can be expected. And the best part is that my doctor gave me very limited restrictions, which I think has helped me to heal faster. He told me I could exercise, as long as I take it easy, and I could drive as long as I wasn't taking pain meds that caused me to be drowsy. So I got to be back to normal me (whatever that is with 4 kids) and not be stuck at home or restricted.  I don't get out much, but I can and it makes a difference mentally.

I have lost all but 4-5 pounds of my baby weight.  Most of that was baby and water weight. I've also been told that breastfeeding is helping with that as well. It is so nice to be in my non-pregnancy clothes already (especially since most of my maternity clothes were for work and not really lounging at the house).

The kids are doing great and are in love with Seth. They want to hold him and hug him and kiss him all the time.  We've had a few colds going around, so I am trying to be really careful with them touching him so he doesn't get sick. Ok, for some more hospital pics (the real reason you read the blog anyway, right?)

Checking in

We got to the hospital at 4:30 this morning, got Pitocin going around 6 and just had my water broken by Dr. Wiegman. Should start progressing more now. I am currently at a 3, 60% effaced and -2 station. They upped my Pitocin too. I will try and keep you updated as the day goes on.

Soon

Wow!  I can't even begin to describe how I feel today. Or how I am supposed to feel.

In two days Seth will be here. Two days.

The kids are ecstatic. Seriously. Every time Daniel sees me he runs up to me with his giddy smile and reminds me how soon Seth will be here with a gentle hug, rub to my belly, and a little hello to his baby brother. Haley's eyes just light up when we start talking about it and tells me over and over that she just wants to hold him and cuddle him. And Katelynn just wants to kiss his head and give him hugs.

I am so glad they are so excited.  It sure is making this a lot easier on me.  I am not naive enough to think that there won't be some attitude and adjustments in the upcoming weeks, but I am praying for as smooth as a transition as possible. Maybe there isn't any jealousy yet because they are a little older (8,7 and 5). Anyone with older kids have experience with bringing home a new baby? Just wondering if their behavior is typical for their age or if I am just getting the calm before the storm.

Today, I am done. Done with being pregnant. Done with not being comfortable to sleep. Just done. But I am so used to getting by I can tolerate it for a short few days just so I can stay on a schedule.  You know I really love having a plan if I give up comfort just so things can stay on schedule. Ha!

In the past few days I have been the recipient of a lot of prayers, mainly for peace.  Because I could definitely use it right now. Because the unknown is scary and whatever happens on Wednesday will definitely be new territory for me. I haven't really been worried about things, but I'm sure it will cross my mind early Wednesday morning as we head to the hospital. I have been too tired and too uncomfortable to really think about what will transpire on Wednesday. Maybe that's a good thing.

And today I am thankful for having a diagnostic laparoscopy last July. Because before that point I was pretty scared to be at the hospital and IVs made me feel squeamish. Now, I know I can do it and it's not a big deal.  So silly I let that freak me out. Just one of the reasons God let me endure all that last year.  Because He knew better. He always does.

Counting Down

We are less than a week away from meeting Seth. So exciting! Tomorrow is my last day at work until January so we are definitely getting close.  Right now, induction is scheduled for early Wednesday morning if my sweet boy doesn't decide to make an appearance on his own terms before then.

Today I have been feeling a lot more tight in my belly, so I'm pretty sure Seth is just running out of room in there and is ready to get some growing room at this point.  Now that we have the details worked out for the older three kids starting early Wednesday morning until Friday night, I'm sure Seth is dying to mess all that up. :) Or maybe he likes a plan like his momma and will stick with it. That's what I'm hoping for.

Tonight I got the rest of Seth's stuff put up so we are ready to go whenever he decides to get here.  So when someone asks me if I'm ready, the answer can now be yes, without a doubt.  I am just as ready to not be pregnant any more as I am to meet Seth and start that new part of our lives.  I just want to sleep on my stomach. Is that too much to ask for?

I have to take a second and brag on my kiddos.

I got Haley's graded papers for the week tonight and she had mostly As and 100s.  We have been working so hard on her paying attention and doing her best on her papers and it is finally paying off.  I am so proud. We had to decide a few weeks back if we wanted her to be a part of a Big Brother, Big Sister program at school or not.  I knew that it could help her, but sometimes, she'll do anything for attention, good or bad, so I didn't really want to give her another audience for her to make up stories for and get bad attention.  I talked to her about that and she told me she wouldn't do that but would let her Big help her do better in school and it would be a good thing and not a bad thing for her.  So we decided to give it a shot.  And it seems to be working.  Well, between that and a lot of prayer and a lot of work.  I am so excited to have my girl doing her best at school!

And Daniel got a smiley face and an outstanding mark for behavior today. Wohoo!!  This mom is so glad to see her kids succeeding at things they struggle with.  And the look on his face was priceless when he told me. He was so proud of himself and now feels like there is nothing he can't do.

Can't overlook Katelynn.  She is doing great at school overall and is probably the easiest of the three to deal with right now.  She is such a sweet girl most of the time and is learning to do more things for herself while I am learning to be more patient with her.  She is going to be a big help when Seth gets  here.  She is a nurturer by nature and will do so well with him. 

And the timing for this couldn't be better. Life is gonna change for us all next week so I'd much rather go into it with things going well than going into it while dealing with other crisis.

Overall the kids are excited, even if there is some unknown for them (like what will happen while we are in the hospital) which can be a little scary.  I am praying everything goes smoothly and we all adjust easily to being a family of 6.

Day 6 - Thankfulness

It really surprises me that kids who come from hard places aren't more appreciative when they get a new home where things, from the adult perspective, are so much better and they don't really need for anything.  In my discussions with other adoptive parents, I have learned it is quite common for the kids to act entitled and not grateful or appreciative.  We have come a long way in the past year in this area.

It is easy for all of us, adults included, to be too busy or too preoccupied to be grateful and thankful for what we have. Even with the best of intentions. it doesn't always happen like it should.

Prayer-

God, teach us all to be more appreciative and more grateful for the many things you have blessed us with.  God, you have given us so much more than we deserve and we are amazed!  I know that gratefulness is more than words, but an attitude, so change our thoughts and our attitudes towards people and bring us to a place we are truly thankful for all you are doing and have done. Help us to see people as you do and to appreciate their work and their efforts on our behalf.  Help us to encourage and build up and not hurt and tear down with our words and out actions.  May we never forget that you are our provider and without you we would have nothing and would be no one.  We are who we are and have what we have because of your goodness and your grace.

38w1d

So if you follow this blog but don't necessarily keep up with facebook updates or the other way around, you may not be getting a full picture of what's going on with Seth. Last Tuesday the doctor thought Seth was measuring a little small and so he sent me for a sonogram on Wednesday to check on him and make sure everything was fine. And everything is fine.  He is a little small (about a half pound smaller than expected as this point) but he is totally fine. The fluid and placenta all looked good, but Seth's tummy and legs are a little behind.  The ultrasound tech said there was nothing to worry about and she said he is just a little baby because he has little parents. (Well, duh! I could have told you that.) The decision was ultimately up to the doctor.  About an hour after the appointment, I got a call from Dr. W and he was very pleased with everything.  So at this point we are looking at inducing on November 14th if he doesn't come sooner.  I originally didn't want to do this, but I trust my doctor and have given in.  Honestly, it is nice to have a date when this journey will be over instead of leaving things open ended. I know that God knows what he's doing and instead of fighting things I am choosing to trust God to lead my doctor to make the decision that is best for us.

And now a picture...

I pretty much feel like a whale, but its okay because the end is near. Seth has been moving like crazy lately.  He was going crazy last night at Casa Manana and I just couldn't get comfortable.  I wouldn't be surprised to find out I am dilated more Tuesday at my next doctor's appointment, but we will see.  I finally got my bag packed for the hospital (except for toiletries) so I am getting close to ready.  The pack and play is put together but we really need to get the car seat installed. There is always so much to do around here, I can't dedicate all my time to Seth. But he'll be fine if I still have things to organize and such before he gets here.  I did go on Friday and buy some of the last things I thought I needed and then again today was able to go to get a shelf  for some more storage for his room.

I think I had my first contraction this morning (or at least the first one I've possibly identified). It seems weird to say I hadn't known if I'd had a contraction before, but I am too busy to sit around and critique every movement or feeling going on in this body right now.

I also think I can finally say I'm swelling a little bit. My feet aren't huge, but I haven't worn my wedding ring in about a week and my toes are looking more chubby than usual. Sunday's are busy so I've been on my feet a lot. Hopefully the swelling will go down some over night, or maybe I will be a little swollen until Seth gets here. I can deal with anything for 10 days or less, right?

Only 5 more days of work assuming all the work gets done and Seth doesn't come before then. I am looking forward to having some mental time to concentrate on one thing (or 4 if you want to count each kid separately). I am the queen of multitasking, but I am getting tired and worn and need a break from something.  So one less thing to think about (work) will be nice for a few weeks.

I am getting ready to see my sweet boy and to see how the new family dynamic is going to work.  It's exciting to see God fulfill his promise, again. I'm pretty sure giving birth is going to be pretty emotional for me. Even thinking about it all makes me get all teary eyed and just so grateful that God chose to bless us with Seth. Seth means appointed or set and I am convinced that God chose him for something great for His Kingdom. If nothing else, Seth was hand picked to be in our family, to teach us that waiting on God is worth it, that the struggle of faith makes us stronger and more aware of God's hand in our lives.  There is no way I will ever be able to look back at how our family has grown in these past 13 months and deny God's hand throughout every step. God is just so faithful!! So loving! So compassionate! So good to us! Beyond what we deserve.

I have seen families struggle so much longer than we have and my heart hurts for them. Although it doesn't always work out like it has for us, God's plan is still perfect and he doesn't change.  I have a friend who is in the process of adopting two kids from the Dominican Republic of Congo. They have been waiting for a while for this.  And although their story is quite different from ours, God's plan is still being perfectly woven for them.  It is so easy to look at others and long for a storybook ending like theirs, but we must remember, that although their ending and ours will look different, if we trust God, the end of the story will be exactly as he intends it to be and it will be beautiful!