Vacation is my Enemy

It is nice to get away for a few days and to get a break from work, but I am sure I am not the only parent who feels like vacation brings out the worst in me. I haven't decided if its just being with the kids 24 hours a day that wears on my patience or if I just care too much about what others think about my kids behavior or my parenting or both. I often find myself yelling and frustrated at the kids and feeling ignored and disrespected. And I am certainly not without fault. I don't handle the constant bickering well and am not good at ignoring the immaturity of kids when it comes to tattling and whining. Like nails on a chalkboard.

As God would have it (seeing how I don't believe in coincidence) I am reading two separate books and both have provided a kick in the gut, spotlighting my weaknesses. In The Battlefield of the Mind, Joyce Meyer points out that the devil loves to keep us critical of others ( in this case my kids) so we never see or deal with our own sin. She also states that "the mind of Christ in us is positive; therefore any time we get negative we are not operating in the mind of Christ."  Guilty as charged. I have got to stop being so negative and critical and let God give me a new positive perspective. It all starts with simply thinking positive thoughts which all starts by thinking about what I am thinking about.  And using God's word to fill my mind with positive thoughts.

The other book is talking about how many women put pressure on themselves to be or at least appear perfect. I struggle with this. Not because I really think I can make things perfect, but I find some safety in at least feeling in control of my life. And God gently reminds me through the writing of Holley Gerth "Beautiful daughter of mine, you don't need to be perfect. You are already perfectly loved."

And I know that God isn't rebuking or chastising me, but showing me his never-ending grace. So I am learning to not be so hard on myself and accept God's grace, forgive myself, get back up and keep going.

There are a few days left of this trip, so I am going to make it count. By being loving and gracious to my kids and myself and enjoying the last few moments we have before we are thrown back into normal life.

Daniel's a Third Grader

On Monday, June 3rd, I got to go to Daniel's awards.  They were in his classroom and I really enjoyed them.

 Each kid got to walk up the red carpet when their name was called. Then Ms. Jones interviewed them like they were movie stars. Daniel's question was about what he was looking forward to doing this summer.  Without skipping a beat he answered vacation in Colorado.  Each of the kids in Daniel's class were able to make an award for another student. I think that was a great idea and really a cool thing for them to do.

Daniel got an award for citizenship, social sciences and best smile. He was so proud of himself. Next year his goal is getting A/B honor roll. I know you can do it sweetheart!! Go for it!!

Just watching him in his class with all of his friends, I can see the work that God has done in him and I am so grateful. When he was placed in our home he had been diagnosed as ADHD and was on meds to help him be "normal." I prayed for him, a lot, and cried about him, a lot, and really just had this fear of Daniel never fitting in at school or in any social setting. He couldn't sit/stand still for any length of time and was just socially awkward. But not anymore. He sat perfectly still during the awards and was able to just be a normal kid. Praise God! Recently, as in the past month or so, his behavior at school has improved by leaps and bounds. He went the last three weeks at school getting all smiley faces for behavior. Before that point, he'd never made longer than three days. I asked him what happened and he said he figured out how to pay attention and not get distracted and it just clicked. Now it's easy. I am so proud of my sweet, kind, caring boy. 

Before becoming Daniel's mom, I never understood the special relationship between a mom and her son. Honestly, I was scared of that relationship because I really don't know much about boys. But now I understand. He is growing up into such a sweet hearted young man. He is so caring and compassionate toward others and it just makes me melt. Today while I was at work, he drew me a picture of a rainbow with a heart underneath it that said "I love you mom" and left it on my bed for me to find.  He just melts me. Now, I understand. Daniel's heart has changed me and I'm so glad I get to be his mom.

God Speaks

Last Monday I started a personal Bible study that I felt like God was leading me to do and God just exploded his word to me. I have had this happen before, as I guess you'd know if you've read even half of the "God Speaks" category blogs, but never quite like this.  I went into the study with an idea of what I would find in God's word on the topic I was studying, but God definitely connected some dots I hadn't even seen before. It was amazing! God's word was so alive and teaching me more about him in a way I have never had happen before.

Then today at church some of the same verses and ideas were brought up again. It was a confirmation to me that I really was hearing God and not just making something up or forcing things to connect in God's word. I wasn't seeking out confirmation at all, but the study that I had done fit into everything God was doing so perfectly. I almost told Pastor what God had showed me and then decided against it. I am trying to be very careful about when I share my heart and the words that God gives me. I have learned to protect my heart and wait for clear direction to share. If I don't feel released in that way, I don't share.

So my dilemma comes in who is this study for (just me personally or should I share with others) and how should this revelation be shared. I can dream up all kinds of possibilities, but I don't just want an opportunity I can force to happen, but to be walking divinely in the path God has for me. It's hard to know for sure, so I am learning to wait on God.

A few weeks back or maybe longer God spoke very clearly to me through someone else that he was going to reveal things to me and I should study them out and write it down then wait for direction. (This also was confirmation of what I felt God was leading me to do.)  So that's what I'm doing.

On a side note, I do bounce things off of B.J. He has really become a source of strength for me. I am learning to lean on his leadership as the head of my household and my spiritual leader. 

It is so exciting to see God's promises come true. It confirms to me that I am hearing God clearly and that God does have plans to use me in ways I could never even dream of. Thank you God! God never forgets his word. Sometimes, it feels like he's forgotten, but he hasn't. He's working behind the scenes and always, always knows what he's doing. Any promise he has spoken is worth hanging on to, no matter how long you have to wait to see it fulfilled in your life.

Ranger Game

Last night we got the opportunity to go to a Ranger game with my coworkers.  I was a little hesitant to take Seth, but decided to give it a shot. He is getting to the age where he is pretty resilient and I don't feel like the whole world has to stop in order for us to survive.

We were in the all you can eat seats, which is really nice for the kids. They can get as much food as they want and I don't have to feel bad when they waste food that was so expensive. It's also nice because the area is kind of separated from the larger crowds and they can go get their own food without much help, usually.

Seth got passed around a bit and ended up finally falling asleep about 9 (which is an hour and a half past his bed time). He slept for about an hour until the game was over and woke up when the fireworks started. 

We didn't plan to stay for the fireworks, but as we were walking out, I think we ended up with one of the best views. We stopped on the side of the road and watched the fireworks, which the kids really enjoyed.

 Apart from the kids going to bed 3 hours past their normal bed time (which isn't ideal since they aren't very good at sleeping in to compensate for lost sleep) and Seth getting a little off schedule, we really had a nice time.

Thanks so much Elaine! I think this is a great company tradition!

Katelynn's in 1st Grade

On Thursday, I went to Katelynn's kindergarten graduation/awards. Mrs. Smith described her as her songbird who is always singing while she works. Yep, that's my girl.

In addition to her graduation certificate, she got a reward for being creative, good citizenship, and the leadership award. I am so proud of my girl.

Sweetheart, God has made you a natural leader, so make sure you are following Jesus as others are following you. You are such a shining star! Shine on for Jesus.

Shhh...they're sleeping.

I have heard of moms who just love taking pictures of their kids sleeping. I have never really been one of those people. Actually, I have very few pictures of the kids sleeping. So just because, tonight I went upstairs and took pictures of each of the kids sleeping. With a flash. And only Haley even slightly was disturbed by the light.

Usually Haley starts the night sleeping on her back with no less than 5 stuffed animals very carefully placed around her head. She also usually comments on being hot but WILL NOT let us turn the ceiling fan on.

Daniel is soooo hot when he sleeps. He usually wakes up dripping wet and his hair is always crazy. I recently took his comforter and blanket off of his bed because he insisted on getting under them even when he was hot. So now, I think he is not sweating quite as much. He does usually wake up with his sheet in all kinds of knots and twists. I have no idea how he does that.

Katelynn is probably the most normal of my sleepers. She usually sleeps with one stuffed animal. Which one it is changes daily. She does usually talk in her sleep and about once a week she comes and wakes me up to put her sheets and comforter back on her bed.

Seth pretty much sleeps just like this. He can roll over if he wants to, but hasn't started doing this in his sleep yet.  Usually when he gets real good and asleep, he will lose the pacifier, and keep on sleeping. He likes to lift his legs up while he is sleeping and slam them back on the mattress. I think he likes the sound it makes. Tonight when I put him down, he didn't even cry or whimper but went straight to sleep. He must have been tired tonight.

Happy 6 Months, Seth!

At your 6 month checkup, you weighed in at 16 pounds 1 oz, were 25 inches long and have a 17.25 inch head. That puts your percentiles at about 20, 5 and 50 respectively. So relatively you have a large head, but besides that, the doctor said everything looks great and we don't have to go back until your 9 month check up.

You wear size 3-6 months clothes mostly, but can fit some 6-9 months. You wear a size 2 diaper, but not for long. 

You are so much fun at this age.  You can sit up by yourself, but you sometimes get too excited and then fall over. You can rollover from tummy to back and almost all the way from back to tummy.  You have just recently started spinning in circles on your tummy in order to get to whatever you have your eyes set on. I have a feeling you will be on the move soon, so I'd better get at least the outlets covered up.  You are very attentive when you are talked to or sang to and are very social. I can hardly feed you without you being distracted by one of your siblings, or whatever else happens to be going on at the same time. You still don't want to miss a thing and fight your sleep because of this. You are so happy and squeal a lot when you are excited. You also shake your head when you are excited. It looks like you are saying no, but I just think you are shaking it back and forth because it is easier than up and down.

You took your first longer car trip (6 hours to Galveston) and did great! You don't like to nap, but will nap in the car if you are sleepy.  You are sleeping about 11 hours a night which is usually from 7:30 to 6:30. Most nights you only wake up once during that time, but sometimes as often as every 3 hours (or three times).

You are definitely teething. Drooling all the time and chewing on everything. I would say we probably have another month before some little teeth start coming through. But for now, I love your gummy grin. I don't want you to lose your baby-ness by getting teeth.

So far you have only eaten carrots well.  Tomorrow I am making you some more baby food vegetables to give you some more things to try.  You weren't really keen on butternut squash, but you scarfed down your carrots today. I think you are finally getting the eating thing down (moving the food to the back of your mouth and swallowing instead of blowing bubbles or spitting it out). I am hoping that with you eating more real foods, you'll be able to sleep longer without getting up to eat. 

You love music. Being sung to, music on the radio, or being played to, it really doesn't matter. You respond be either watching on with a smile, singing/yelling along, or tapping your hands on your legs to the music. I really hope you got your Mommy and Daddy's musical genes. I can imagine us singing/playing together some day.

You are obsessed with drinks, mainly cans of soda. It doesn't matter who has it or what flavor it is, you stop whatever you are doing and make it very clear that you want some. We let you feel the outside of the can that is cold and wet and you love that. You are also very interested in whatever we are eating. Often times, if you aren't happy in your high chair, I sit at the table sideways so you can see the family and I can eat my food, but you are unable to grab anything from the table.

You grab everything and definitely have a grip. Right now your favorites are necklaces, hair and glasses. 

You have moved on from your activity mat to your Jumparoo. You love being able to stand up in it and see everything that is going on.  The toys can keep you entertained for a while too, sometimes.  You also really like your swing, at least more than when you were smaller. You like us to set it on a higher setting. Maybe someday, you will be my roller coaster partners. The other kids only like them in order to be able to do things with me (or that's what I am noticing, but that could change too).

Your brothers and sisters are still smitten with you.  You have a lot of family that loves you so much. God has really blessed us with you!

I know that God has great things in store for you as you grow up learning how to love him best and how to serve him. I pray that God will have your heart from a very young age and you will serve him full force, never looking back.

I love you so much and am so proud to be your mother. Stop growing so quickly! I am going to miss these days of you being so small and cuddly.

-Mommy