There have been a lot of changes going on around here. If you read my husband's blog then you know that God is doing some awesome things in him and in our ministry together. And I am so excited! I don't want to steal his thunder but to summarize, God has been speaking to him about stepping up and out of his comfort zone. I love it! I have been praying for God to show me how I can support him as the leader of our home. It's really hard for me to support him. Not because I don't believe in what he is doing or don't respect him, but I definitely have the dominant personality in our relationship and he is more laid back. I have had to push him a little to have an opinion on some things and so it has been difficult for me to find what he really wants to do or what he feels are his goals on any level and support his efforts to pursue those things. I have tried to encourage him to step up for a while, but honestly, he wasn't budging. He was quite happy to be in the background. But God is changing that.
More specifically he is moving in to help more with teaching our Sunday School class. I am really looking forward to sharing that ministry with him. He has been there, yes, and been supportive, yes, but I have carried the load. And that's been totally fine with me. But it is time for him to step up. And he agrees. I am excited to see what God will do. I feel like the church as a whole (mine included) is held together and run by women who are willing to step up and be teachers and trainers, but it is time for the men to step up and be that role model for the next generation of young men. They need to see men who are on fire for God, who have decided to be the spiritual leader of their families so that they can learn what it means to be the head of your house.
And I have been so busy carrying things I wasn't meant to carry alone, I have gotten distracted and somethings have had to take the back burner. So now, with BJ stepping up, I am able to get back to some of the things God so clearly laid on my heart and I haven't made priority. And it feels good and the timing couldn't be better.
Lent started today. I am not catholic, but I usually ask God if there are some priorities that need to be looked at and things I should give up. Ya'll, I am just too competitive even with myself sometimes. I thought that God was asking me to give up reading fiction books for this time period so I could refocus on what I needed to do. And I planned my "Fat Tuesday" and was determined to finish a certain book before Lent started. And I realized how stupid it was of me to make this once again about me, when it should really be all about God. I am one that I quickly turn something that is supposed to be a sacrifice, unto God, for his purpose, into a competition with myself and outdoing the previous years. I am not proud this is where I was even a few days ago, but there it is. And I realized it was quickly not about getting closer to God in my mind at all, but just proving I could go without my books for 40 days. Sometimes I fail so miserably, even at my "sacrifice" of worship. And me and God had a discussion and I really just think he wants me to fix my priorities instead of giving up something completely. So I am slowing down the reading and just making sure I do the things he's called me to do before I let myself enjoy a chapter or two in my books.
I am also starting a new non-fiction book with a 40 day dare to enrich our marriage. We are at a really good place right now. Because of some decisions I made. They weren't easy, but I decided my husband was worth me letting go of always getting my way. Love is choice and I choose to love and respect my husband and support him and what God is doing in him. And about the time I am done with this, we will be close to our "Weekend to Remember" getaway in April. Things are definitely looking up. I never thought that adding three kids to our family would make me make our marriage a priority. I guess I just feel like he is the only other person on earth that understands what I am going through and I am able to confide in him and find comfort in that. And I think it is bringing us closer as a couple. Well, that, and God. He always plays a part.
About that time, we will be at the 6 month mark with the kids and the adoption court date will soon follow. I have some paperwork to complete and return to the attorney to get that ball rolling. We are about 6 weeks out.
Yeah, there are a lot of changes coming for the Fowler Five, but life is good because God is good! And he is in control!
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