Morning

God met me this morning. And it was beautiful.

I cannot count the number of times I have started new resolutions to get up and spend time with God in the morning before work.  And failed. And tried. And failed. And tried. And resorted back to my end of the day devotion time.  I am a night person.  Mornings and I have never gotten along. I love my sleep. Love it. (On a side note, I know that will all change when I have this baby. I won't have a choice but to get up when the babe needs me. And I am okay with that.  Not that I have any idea what I am in store for, but I am trying to mentally prepare myself)

This morning I was rewarded for my persistence.

Since BJ and I have been splitting the teaching responsibilities for our Sunday School class I have felt spiritually dry.  I am trying to be the supportive wife and have followed his lead as we've taught about David.  It's been really good and I really believe God is using us there.  But its different for me.  Because I'm used to relying on God for my weekly lesson and have never had a topic or theme to follow apart what I feel God has given me specifically for this class.  And having to trust God week after week to give me a lesson has made me desire to spend time with God, if for their sake and nothing else.  So not having that desperation has made my devotion life dull.  Not because God has changed, but because my level of anticipation and urgency to hear from God has changed.  It's amazing the difference when we approach God with hunger and desire and when we don't.

Zephaniah 3:17 has become a favorite verse to me so this morning I decided to end my time with God by praying this scripture and God showed me some awesome things.

The Lord your God is with you

If the you've made God your Lord, he is with you so you are never alone.  No matter how much you find people who have been through what you have, somehow, we continue to convince ourselves no one has really been there and really understands.  Because our lives are all different.  For example, I don't know anyone who struggled with infertility like I did, adopted three kids, and 6 months later am expecting my 4th.  And the enemy wants us to feel alone.  I guess that's really the point, isn't it?  But God is not supervising or standing at a distance but he is with me, by my side, so I am never alone, no matter what I feel like.

He is mighty to save.

Mighty. To save you from your bondage. To save your kids no matter how far gone they seem.  It has been really hard with my kids. The first years of their lives they were not in a Christian home and they were not taught God's ways and so I feel sometimes like I am behind the game.  I try so much to show them and tell them how important it is to love God and serve him.  Some of them have made decisions to serve God. And then I see other attitudes and other things that make me wonder if they really know what all that means. I am not God, so I don't know everything that's going on, but I pray that what we are living in front of them is making a difference in their lives. And I pray for God's mercy and grace on them, should He come back before they've gotten past the anger and hurt and accepted Him.  I don't know what God sees when he sees them.  But no matter what, he is able and willing to save them and to draw them to himself and surround them in his love.  And so that is my prayer every day. God, chase them, pursue them, love them relentlessly until they get through the hurt and anger and see that your love really is worth taking down the walls.

He will take great delight in you.

I need God to see me and notice me and be proud of me.  He will not forget my faithfulness.  He sees what no one else sees. He sees my heart and my intentions and he knows my desires.  And he is proud of me.  I make him smile and bring happy tears to his eyes. He doesn't overlook me. He delights in me.  He sees the promises he has made me and he does not forget his word.  He hasn't decided I'm not good enough or I've failed too many times and he hasn't taken back his promises. He delights in me, with all of my faults and failures.

He will quiet you with his love.

He sees me when I am an emotional wreck (which is more often than usual with all these crazy hormones right now) and he just loves on me.  He sees past my failures and hugs me through my meltdowns.  His love is the only thing that brings peace and calm to my soul.  His peace passes all understanding.

He will rejoice over you with singing.

Love that verse even more and love my morning time with God.