Honestly, it'd been a while since I've actually been awake to ring in the new year. If I have been, its been alone. My kids don't generally get to stay up because they have a hard time sleeping in the next day and they can be grumpy when they are missing sleep. It just isn't worth it. Bj usually works on New Years so he goes to sleep at normal time.
Last night the older kiddos spent the night with "Aunt Martha" and their cousins. I hope they had a fun time. I am going to pick them up in a few minutes. I sent Seth to bed early since he didn't have a nap. It was dark so he didn't know the difference. Bj and I watched Braveheart and then went to bed.
I thought about blogging some resolutions or goals for the new year, but wasn't really motivated last night. I've been thinking about the words restore and new and how they are different. Restore means to bring back to an original state. As much as restoration is like getting a new start at goals and dreams, at Gods best, it isn't the same. Because with restoration comes the experience and trials of the past. That's a good thing. When we allow God to restore friendships, dreams, our relationship with him, there is a history that remains. There is experience and lessons we have learned along the way that we can use to propel us forward into the next thing God has for us. There are areas in our lives where we need a new start, but it would be ignorant of us to ignore what God has taught us and go around that mountain again unnecessarily. We need God to refresh and restore us.
To give a physical example, we have been parents for about 3 years. I've learned a lot since we first became parents. There are many parenting skills that have adapted and changed from my original thoughts. Each day is a new start, something new to learn, but it is not truly starting over. There is no need to relearn from square one each day. Each day builds on the previous and each day is a step forward.
The same with living for God. I don't want a new start this year. I want to keep on going forward, learning from the lessons of the past and hopefully listening and obeying well enough the first time to not have to keep going through the same test again and again. I want to see spiritual growth in me, my husband, and my kids. I want God to stretch us and mature us to see things his way and hear him clearly. I want to be a better mom, husband, and friend. I want to be who Got has made me to be, whatever that takes.
On a practical level, I want to spend more time doing personal Bible study rather than just reading my Bible this year. I know this takes more time, so I'm gonna try and make a list of things I want to study or that God lays on my heart to look into. I also want to spend more time worshipping. I did pretty well on this last year, but Christmas and Christmas music kinda got in the way, because I let it in December.
I'm looking forward to a new year with God. Every day with Jesus is sweeter than the day before.
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