17 Weeks 5 Days

How Far Along: 17 Weeks 5 Days
Size of the Baby: About 5 1/2 inches long and 7 ounces. About the size of a bell pepper.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 2 pound gained. But I think the doctor's scale is wrong. I was very careful to not each much this morning before the appointment.
Maternity Clothes: Yes. On occasion I can wear a non-maternity top if it's a less fitted style, but pants are limited to either maternity or loose like lounge/pajama pants. The shirt in the picture above is not maternity, but the skirt is.
Gender: Don't know yet. I'd like a girl (since I've never had a baby girl to dress up and such) but Seth was such an easy baby (at least partially due to being a no fuss boy) so maybe we need a boy who is less high maintenance than a girl and all her accessories. We do have names picked out (if I don't change my mind) but don't think we'll share until we find out if we are having a boy or a girl. We are having a sonogram on Wednesday and I'll be able to find out what we are having. Right now I plan on revealing to the family at Easter dinner on Sunday. The kids want to know and are giving me a hard time for making them wait from Wednesday until Sunday. But what I have planned with be fun since it lets the kids be involved finding out.
Movement:None. Dr W says I should feel the baby move in the next 1-3 weeks. I have thought I've felt something, but written it off mostly because the doctor didn't really expect anything. Now, I'll start paying more attention to what I'm feeling.
What I Miss Most: sleeping all night, eating normally and not feeling hungry/overly full all the time.
Cravings:None. I can eat whatever I want, but am trying to be careful and not gain too much weight. Although I'd love to have strawberry shakes every day, I have restrained myself.
Symptoms: Shortness of breath, random aches and pains, being tired, moodiness. (The latter could also be related to the fact that I have stress on all fronts right now since its tax season.) Lately I've been waking up feeling yucky in the middle of the night. I've used the time to pray, but really wish I wasn't being woke up because I don't feel well.
Best Moment of the week:Today at the doctor's, he heard the heartbeat really quickly and said the baby was having fun. Strong, steady beat every time so far. I love it. I suppose after Wednesday the best part of the week will be finding out the gender of the baby.

Funny story: Today I asked my doctor if he was retiring. All of my doctors/dentists have announced their retirement, so I had to make sure Dr W would be delivering my baby. He quickly said no. He wouldn't be able to keep busy without the practice. It made me feel better. It's one of those randome thoughts that had me a little nervous, but I feel better now.

For whatever reason, last fall, my insurance announced that they were dropping the one hospital my doctor delivers at. So, I've decided it is cheaper to self pay the hospital (they actually charge lower rates if they don't have to deal with the insurance companies) than to run it through insurance. The out of network deductible is $15,000 so we will never meet that. All or most of the doctors (pediatrician, anesthesiologist) are covered by my insurance, just not the hospital itself. Kinda strange if you ask me. Of course the way insurances change, that could all change before I deliver anyway. All that to say, I have chosen my doctor because I love him, even if I have to self pay the hospital in order for him to deliver the baby. So if he was going to retire between now and my delivery, I was going to switch sooner rather than later.

We aren't posting on facebook/the blog until maybe Sunday night about the gender reveal. This time, I want to tell all the family first so you will just have to wait. :)

Rule Follower

If you know me, I am a rule follower almost to a fault. I like things to be fair and am quite frustrated when I do extra work in order to make sure that rules are followed and someone else takes a shortcut without any consequences.

So when I started this goal to read 12 books this year and require that every other book be nonfiction (usually self help or spiritual growth books), and when I got stuck on a certain nonfiction book I just couldn't let it go. Then my mom, in her logical down to earth way, suggested I skip through the book to the chapters that interested me.

And a lightbulb went off.

Goodness, I won't even change or go around my own rules and honestly, that adds so much stress to my life. So why did I create this rule anyways? Because I wanted to force myself to learn and grow spiritually and not just get wrapped up in reading for pleasure. So by reading parts of a book, no I am not technically reading a book and probably won't include it in my total, for honesty sake, but I will still accomplish my goal of personal growth  and be able to get back to my fiction books.

Baby Gender Poll

I believe (totally based on the last pregnancy) that next week we will schedule the sonogram to determine the gender of this baby. The kids all say, we want it to be a boy, but think it's a girl. I guess they are saving themselves the disappointment if it is a girl.

All that to say, I have added a poll in the top righthand corner of my blog. Please vote on what you think this baby will be, boy or girl. Seth repeats the option I say last, so as long as I say boy or girl, he thinks its a girl and vice versa

If we find out next week, we will be sharing with our families, including the kids, on next Sunday at Easter Dinner. I believe everyone is supposed to already be together (except my sister and her family). After that, I'll let you all know, so keep posted.

I really don't know what I think. I really don't care either way, but I think I'd like to experience raising a little girl from birth, so I'll say girl. I know I feel different, but my sister felt differently with her second than her first, and they were both girls. I guess we won't know until we know.

Good Days

Sunday was good. I guess I say that a lot. In the afternoon, we had an "all church" sing and share service. When we first got the kids, I taught them some scripture songs and each of them sang at a similar service. They have since grown up and mostly decided not to participate since then.

But this time, they each played percussion for my parents' song (bongos, congos, and tambourine). In addition, Haley quoted Psalm 91 and Katelynn played piano and sang "God is so Good." Seth entertained the few early comers with all the songs he knows. He loves the microphone. I was proud of all of them.

Tomorrow I have Haley's annual ARD/IEP meeting at school. I hate these meetings. I'm trying to get a good attitude, but I'm really struggling today. I always get emotional and cry and I'm sure that will be more likely since I am pregnant.

And to close this short post, I will add a preggo pic. I am 17 weeks tomorrow.

I really think I gained 3-4 pounds before I even saw the doctor at 10 weeks and have been basically holding steady since. I am also pretty sure I have gained 3 pounds or so in the last month, and expect to get scolded at the next doctor's appointment. Maybe if I prepare myself, I won't feel bad when it comes. :)

Sethisms

It has been a whole since I blogged just about Seth. Probably because I feel the need to vent about the struggles and the difficulties and Seth, for the most part, is an easy boy. The comic relief in our normal, potentially stressful life.

But I don't want to forget any of this. Because he's just pretty cute if you ask me. And for comparison sake after this baby gets here.

Seth is 28 months old and his personality is just so fun!

He talks. A lot. Repeats everything. And with three older siblings and 2 sets of active grandparents, that is a lot.

Some of the funny/cute things he says right now include "pick up me, please" "chocolate and bonella ice cream" "I'm not ready" "I need you" "I go with you?" "I'm not (sweet, cute, etc), I'm Seth" "I'm a big boy not a baby" until he wants his paci and then its "I'm not too big. I'm not too big." "I help you" "I'm joking" and then a fake loud laugh "I'm funny" "naked baby, naked baby" when he is only in a diaper.

I think his vocabulary is so large because he repeats everything, including when I'm yelling up the stairs at the kids or scolding someone. He is such a ham!

He loves to give hugs and a kiss on each cheek. Never just one cheek.

He has recently, in the last month, taken to a stuffed puppy and a blanket to sleep. He's never slept with a blanket before that.

He loves being a big boy and playing upstairs or outside with the big kids.  They are great with him! Its almost like not having a baby anymore. Just in time for another one to join us.

Seth has been bottle free for a couple of weeks. It also means he isn't getting as much milk as he used to. He recently, as in the past couple of days, started eating more so that's good. He is also mostly agreeable to sit at the table (on his knees) and eat with the family without much of a struggle. Sometimes I have to bribe him with dessert, but he could use the extra pounds so its worth it to me.

He takes his paci (after he gave it up at 18 months) but only at sleeping time and only for me. I know I'm a push over, but I didnt want to kill the bottle and the paci at the same times since I really think they are both comfort items for him.

He is still in diapers and still sleeps in his crib. We are planning on moving him to the bottom of a bunk bed in late May/early June so he can get used to it before the baby gets here. And we have some extra time in case he doesn't transfer easily. I'm not even thinking about potty training until summer. I hear boys are harder, so I'm not pushing it.

He's still a little guy, wearing 18-24 month pants (I look for the longest ones at the resale shop) because he is so skinny. He can wear 24mo or 2t shirts depending on the fit. He wears a 4 or 5 size shoe.

He is going to be a great big brother! I hope all the attention he gets from the older kids will make the transition easier. I'm sure they'll all want to hold the baby, but since Seth can play and has a personality I think they'll still enjoy playing with and helping with him.

I'm so excited to see what the next month's hold!

Encouragement

So although most of my life I have been a loner,  I think I'm changing in my old age. Yes, I still love being alone and would be totally happy on many days to be by myself watching my tv shows or reading my book, or shopping for me. Or scrapbooking. (Haven't done that in ages! Maybe this summer I'll scrapbook some vacations before the kids that never got done. Maybe the girls would even like to help me some. I really need to scrapbook at least our annual family vacations if nothing else.) After a few days I'd miss the kids, especially if I didn't know when they were coming home.

But I also need other people. To talk to. To encourage and be encouraged by. To share life with. Because being alone is not all it's cracked up to be. It can be lonely. And when you are sad, no one is there to smile at you. (Unless you are an emotional wreck because you've held it all in too long and you cry all day at church. Then everyone is ready to encourage you and pray with you.) But often times, I just hold it in, be strong, and carry on. And I am alone.

And when you are happy, there is no one to celebrate with. Celebrating even the little things alone isn't nearly as fun as having someone to call or text and share with.

And when God speaks something to you that just rocks your world (whether in a good way or bad), its so nice to have a heart friend who you can share it with, knowing they won't look at you like you are crazy, but will be happy you heard from God even if it does not affect them the same way.

I am so glad to have a few friends like this. I know I don't always act like
I need friends, but I am glad God has given me a few good ones. Love you Kim and Melanie!

A Good Book

Lately I've gotten into reading again. I think it started when a friend had surgery and I offered her some booms to read that I really enjoy. When she politely declined because she had stocked up on books in preparation of her surgery, I decided to pick up my favorite fiction series and read it again for the third time. (The series contains about 15 books so this is no small task.)

I much prefer fiction to nonfiction reading as it is kind of an escape for me. I enjoy nonfiction if the author is good and the topic is relevant to me, but I tend to start and not finish nonfiction books much more often than fiction.

So I've decided to push myself a little and set a goal of reading 12 books this year (2015). I'm close to the end of my second book, so I'm not that far behind. Also, after I finish my current book, I am requiring myself to read a nonfiction book between fiction books. Granted, the books will probably be smaller, but maybe the goal and rules I'm setting for myself will encourage some personal growth this year. Honestly I need to stop being lazy. I have at least 3-4 nonfiction books I need to read so hopefully this will push me in that direction!

Pastor always says if you want to see who you will be in 5 years, look at what you are reading right now. Not sure if I totally agree, but I do know I have a lot of learning to do and it won't happen if I don't avail myself to the resources in front of me.

Scripture Memory Challenge

Every time I hear the word challenge, I go back to this old episode of the Cosby Show. I love it!!



So I have challenged my kids to learn Psalm 91 between now and Easter. It is only 16 verses so you only have to learn 1 verse every 2 days, which may take about 10 minutes a day.

So I thought I'd extend the challenge to anyone else who wants to join in. I know many people think they can't memorize and so they never try. So I challenge you, especially, to try it. It really isn't that difficult and the more you memorize, the easier it gets.

And what can it hurt? Even if you start strong and get the first few verses memorized and then get stuck, it's still God's word and it will still help you in the long run.

And for you competitive people like me, sometimes it just takes a good challenge to get your rear in gear and do something for your good. If my kids (who are 8. 9. and 11) can learn it, so can you!

So, who's with me?

13w5d - Baby Update

How Far Along: 13 Weeks 5 Days
Size of the Baby: About the size of lemon, 3.5 inches long and 1.5 ounces.
Total Weight Gain/Loss: 1 pound gained. Dr W. said I've done better than him.
Maternity Clothes: Yes. On occasion I can wear a non-maternity top if it's a less fitted style, but pants are limited to either maternity or loose like lounge/pajama pants. This cold weather is making me buy more maternity clothes. Most of mine from the previous pregnancy are more summer/fall, so I needed some warmer clothes and more dress pants.
Gender: Don't know yet. I'd like a girl (since I've never had a baby girl to dress up and such) but Seth was such an easy baby (at least partially due to being a no fuss boy) so maybe we need a boy who is less high maintenance than a girl and all her accessories. We do have names picked out (if I don't change my mind) but don't think we'll share until we find out if we are having a boy or a girl.
Movement:None. Dr W says I won't feel anything until 20/21 weeks. He doesn't count "flutters" as the baby moving. I couldn't remember how far along I was when I first felt Seth move in utero.
What I Miss Most: Eating without having an overfull/sick feeling in my stomach. I usually just eat less more often, which isn't a bad plan actually.
Cravings:None. I eat whatever I want.
Symptoms: Shortness of breath. After I preached on Sunday, it took me a full 2-3 hours to feel like I could breathe again. I guess I got too excited and was talking fast or overexerting myself. :)
Best Moment of the week:Today at the doctor's, he heard the heartbeat really quickly and we heard him/her move around. He said it was because I was so thin. I wanted to document he said that since I'm sure at some point I will gain too much weight and he will mention it and I will feel bad.

Next doctor's appointment is in 4 weeks. At that point, we will probably be scheduling the gender determination sonogram. It'll be here before we know it. Especially since this next month will be pretty busy at work for me. :)

The Whole World

He's got the whole world in his hands....or at least that's how the children's song goes.

We love God, we trust him and we know he will take care of us and provide and yet, as moms we think that our kids' struggles and problems are ours to carry and figure out.

Or maybe that's just me.

I've learned that I can trust God in even the most difficult times but because our kids lives are entrusted to us by God himself, I find it very difficult to lead them as I feel God would lead me and still trust the results to him.  In my human understanding it doesn't make sense that I am to train them up but it isn't my burden to carry if they turn out okay.

Maybe its different because I still feel like I don't know my kids like other parents do.

Or maybe I'm just making excuses for my failure to trust God.

I have seen too many kids, many of them my peers, be raised in church, taught the right things, even have faithful Christian parents, who have since chosen to walk away from God.

And it scares me.

I know I can only do so much and am learning to trust God with their futures, but it is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Because my tendency is to fear where I don't have control.

And yet God has promised that his anointing will go with them and flow through them, so I stand on that for now.

And I may need to start my day with a little children's song to remind me that he has the whole world in his hands, even my kids.