Trusting

This song has been on my heart the past few days. God is teaching me to trust him. I know you are saying, what does that song have to do with trusting God, so here you have it. There are two lines that keep coming back to me. "When you call I won't refuse" and "When you call I won't delay." That is total trust: no delay in obeying what God says. Yesterday at church God spoke to me about some things he wanted me to do and my first response was total fear. It's been a while since I've felt that. I thought I was doing so good obeying and trusting and there was fear, rearing its ugly head. We all are afraid at times, but we have to learn to trust God completely. I picture a small child standing on a ledge of some sort and a parent saying jump. The child doesn't hesitate in the slightest, but jumps full force, knowing their parent will catch them. The parent won't let them fall or get hurt. That's what we have to learn to do. Jump full force, with total trust in our Heavenly Father who loves us and won't let us fall. Trust him, completely. With the innocence of a child.

None But Jesus

In the quiet In the stillness

I know that You are God

In the secret of Your presence I know there I am restored When You call I won't refuse Each new day again I'll choose

There is no one else for me None but Jesus Crucified to set me free Now I live to bring Him praise In the chaos in confusion I know You're sovereign still In the moment of my weakness You give me grace to do Your will When You call I won't delay This my song through all my days There is no one else for me None but Jesus Crucified to set me free Now I live to bring Him praise All my delight is in You Lord All of my hope All of my strength All my delight is in You Lord Forever more

Husker Football

Have I ever told you how much I LOVE college football and the Nebraska Cornhuskers? They are 2-0 so far this season and tomorrow they play Virginia Tech, who is ranked 13. I am really looking forward to a good game tomorrow afternoon. The past few weekends I've gone to my parents to watch the game, since it's been on pay-per-view and my dad always buys the games. The only thing that would make college football better would be a little cooler weather that actually feels like fall. Is anyone else excited that college football has begun?

The Challenge

So, I haven't posted much about the weight loss challenge I am currently doing, so for anyone who wants to know, here's how it's going. I've followed the rules: I have not had fried foods or sweets, I've drank the required water and usually don't even drink the 12 oz of soda I am allowed. I've exercised more times than required each week and used only an average number of cheats. We are on week 4 and I've used 4 of the 25 cheats allowed over 17 weeks. Results: There are none to speak of. My weight has fluctuated since I started the challenge and I am almost back down to my starting weight. It's a little frustrating, but I know that I am healthier and in better shape than I was before the challenge. And I'm starting to like running and/or my exercise time. I feel good to be doing something for me, even if there are no results in the numbers. My goal was to lose 10 pounds in 17 weeks, so I guess I could potentially still reach that, but I'm beginning to have my doubts. There are reasons to explain away my lack of results, none of which are related to me not being committed or cheating more than I will admit. The reasons are all legitimate, but I'm not here to make excuses for myself. I'm just here to give an update. So, if any of you other beauties are having issues, know that you are not alone. Just keep going! Even if you don't see the results you desire, know it is changing you and your life for the better.

Thank God for Alissa!

So normally you all get my to hear about my gripes and complaints. I try to stay upbeat or at least talk about some scripture after I vent so you are not left in a bad mood, but it doesn't always work that way. Well today, I'm just going to be thankful for a change. Today, I realized how thankful I am for Alissa. She is the girl who has been playing drums since Jill moved a month ago. Things could just be so much worse. Even a week before Jill left I was a little apprehensive about how everything would turn out. Things have all fallen into place so much quicker than I anticipated. She is growing as a drummer by leaps and bounds every week. We have not had to go a single service without drums and worship is going so great! Today I was just so relaxed during worship and it was so nice. I am still playing drums for the hymns, but that is becoming second nature to me and doesn't take much concentration for me either. Today I got to worship and it just felt so good. Thank you so much Alissa for stepping up and filling Jill's shoes. You are such a blessing and God is using you greatly! I know things aren't always perfect, but God always helps us when we step up to minister to others. You are such a blessing!

Times By: Tenth Avenue North I know I need You I need to love You I'd love to see You but it's been so long

I long to feel You I feel this need for You I need to hear You Is that so wrong?

Now You pull me near You When we're close I fear You Still I'm afraid to tell you all that I've done

Are You done forgiving? Can You look past my pretending? I'm so tired of defending what I've become What have I become?

But I hear You say My love is over It's underneath It's inside It's in between

The times that you doubt me And when you can't feel The times that you question Is this for real?

The times that you're broken The times that you mend The times you hate me The times that you bend

My love is over It's underneath It's inside It's in between

The times that you're healing And when your heart breaks The times that you feel like you've fallen from grace

The times that you're hurting The times that you heal The times you go hungry and are tempted to steal

In times of confusion In chaos and pain I'm there in your sorrow under the weight of your shame

I'm there through your heart-ache I'm there in the storm My love I will keep you by my power alone

I don't care where you've fallen or where you have been I'll never forsake you My love never ends It never ends

Yesterday=Bad Morning, Today=Better

So yesterday I got to work in a good mood and got an e-mail from someone asking me about something else they thought we should start doing in the sound booth at church on Sundays. Normally, this would not be a big deal really. Yesterday, it brought me to tears. Apparently I was much more stressed about everything going on in my life than I realized. I guess the main thing that got me was that someone else decided I should add something new to what I already do on Sundays. Before Jill left, I was getting to the place that I could actually worship while playing the piano on Sundays. It used to be very hard for me to play the piano, and sing and actually worship. You know there is definitely a difference between singing and worshiping. It's a heart thing and I could write an entire post on it. Someday, maybe I will. Anyway, when I am able to worship at church on Sundays, it helps me de-stress and actually get refreshed The day just goes smoother and I have less chance of getting overwhelmed. Since Jill has left, I haven't gotten any of that. Now, I am trying to fill Jill's role in addition to my normal Sunday madness. (By the way Jill, I am not very good at doing your job so can you come back soon please!) I now have a microphone every service and am supposed to help Dad start songs when he is having trouble. I also am trying to help Alissa get started on the drums for each song and pay attention to her enough to help her be steady and not speed up or slow down. And I am still playing the piano. And I am teaching Sunday School. And I am switching to play drums during Bro. Buddy's Hymn book songs. And I teach children's church once a month (Praise God we didn't decide to do more often then that!) And that is just when BJ is there to do his job. When he is not there, I have to put together the power point, turn the sound system on, and make sure Aaron and TJ know the order of service and what is going on. Thank God that I don't have to do BJ's job often since he is usually off of work on Sundays. The point is, adding one more thing to my Sundays does not sit well with me right now. But lets not dwell on what stressed me out yesterday. Today is a new day, full of God's grace and mercy which is new every morning and never runs out. God will not allow me to be tempted beyond what I can bear, so I just keep trusting him to be my peace and give me strength one day, one moment, one second at a time. He knows all I need and is able and willing to provide for me. God, thank you for a new day!

God Speaks

This week in Sunday School we talked about "Preparation for Spiritual Victory." BJ and I teach the college & career Sunday school class at church. It was the first time that the lesson came across the way I prepared it. Often times, while God is leading me as I put the lesson together, I feel his presence and get excited about what God is saying through his word. Somehow, by the time the lesson makes it to the class, things aren't as exciting as they were originally. I think part of it has to do with who my audience is and part of it is that I allow my excitement to be squashed by the response I get from them. Don't get me wrong. I know they are listening, but they aren't exactly interacting with me or shouting "Amen" after every sentence usually. Yesterday, God's presence was so real in that class and I let myself get excited about God was saying. Class was just good! Thank you God! And to top it off, can you guess what Bro. Beard spoke on in the Sunday Morning service? Victory over temptation. It's always nice to get a little reassurance from God that you really heard him speak. For several weeks, I've been taking my morning commute and praying for a different person in my class each day. There are 5 of them, so that works pretty well. This morning I was praying for Elisha and Courtney (since I didn't go to work yesterday) and God's presence was just so sweet and real. I think I could have stayed in my car and prayed another hour once I got to work. By the way, girls, if you read this, God has some great things in store for you! What a great way to start my work week! I didn't realize until I started to write this post all the ways God is speaking to me right now. For a couple of days, I have felt like I needed to do something. I'm not sure if it is God or some of the books I've been reading, so I'm still trying to get some clear direction. I am hesitant because I fear that when I do this thing, it'll bring up a lot of emotion that I've been trying not to think about or haven't really had to deal with since the beginning of the year. I don't mind that sacrifice if it is really what God is leading me to do, but if it is just me, I would rather not go there again emotionally. I know God will give me clear direction, so I'm just trusting and waiting for that. I may share more details in the future if I feel released to do so.

Running!

Two times this week I've gone running and lived to tell about it. I amaze myself.

No Means No!!

Honestly, I was going to blog about this yesterday and increase my August blog count, but I fell asleep on the couch at 8:30, woke up at 9 and went to sleep for the night. This whole getting up early and working 10 hour days is wearing me out. So this post almost counts as an August post. Don't you think? Why can people not understand what the word no means? Specifically, I am referring to church people asking others to help with events and other things. I attend a small church (about 100 people) and most of the Sunday School or Wednesday night teachers teach 2 different classes and help with something else. That's all fine and good and most of them are more than willing to teach their classes and help with things. The problem comes when those people get asked to do something else and they dare to say no. People just keep pushing and pushing, waiting for them to cave in and act almost offended when people will not agree to stretch themselves into one more thing. Then, the person who says no feels like they have to defend themselves and prove that they really don't have time to take on another thing. I wonder if they ever thought that God has told us to stop stretching ourselves so thin or that we are causing ourselves physical problems by being sooooo busy. Of course they didn't think of that, because the only thing they are thinking of is themselves and their program or event. I'm not saying that the current program or event has anything wrong with it, just people should learn that no means no. There are reasons we say no sometimes and quite honestly, we don't have to defend our use of time to anyone but God. So there's my two cents. I feel much better now. On a separate note, I ran the block around the school tonight and I'm proud of myself. I haven't run in a long time and I didn't think I could do it. I have never been a big fan of running, but I wanted to give it a shot. With God's help I did it and hope to increase how much I run over the next few months. I'm not shooting for a marathon, but just a little more exercise during the challenge. I think I'll run 2-3 times a week in addition to the walking in the morning with Kim. I have also started doing a little bit of work on the Wii Fit on my arms in an effort to get more of an overall workout/exercise routine.