I LOVE Being a Mommy

The kids have been here close to a week so I thought I should update.  

The kids flew in on last Friday morning and we all met at our house to sign the paperwork for adoptive placement. The placement is supposed to take place at our house according to the state rules.  To get around that requires special approval which basically amounts to delaying placement. After placement, we went to McDs for a quick lunch on the way out of town.  That is right. As soon as we got the kids we packed up and headed back to Houston to get their bikes and a few other small things. The kids traveled really well.  I was prepared with a ton of coloring books, sticker books, and other paper to keep them entertained for the 4 hour trip each way.  We stayed the night in a hotel and headed back Saturday morning after picking up their bikes at the foster-parent's house.  They are kids so of course there was the normal "she's looking at me" and "he touched me" stuff going on, but for the most part they did really well. We learned very quickly that D loves making things out of paper (anything really) and tape and giving them away as presents to whomever he sees.  He is a very sweet boy and very giving.  On the trip we also learned that, apparently, if there are no houses on the side of the interstate, or none that K can see, then we can't possibly be headed home.  She was convinced we were going the wrong way.  She did better once we actually got to an area of I45 that included houses she could see from the truck.

By the time we got home, we were all ready to be out of the car for a while.  We went over to my parents for dinner on Saturday night (which allowed me to not have to cook) and they got to play with Grandma and Grandpa (my parents) and Nana and Papa (BJ's parents).

Sunday was church.  The loved children's church and their Sunday School classes.  The real test was making it through the 2pm service where the kids have to sit still and quiet through the preaching because there isn't any classes for them.  I had special sticker books and paperdoll books for the kids to color and they did well. 

Monday I went and registered the kids for school while BJ kept them entertained at home. Tuesday they started school and they all seem to be learning well and having a good time. K's pre-K doesn't start until 12:20 so she walks D & H to school with me and then we return home to hang out and play for a couple of hours before her school.  It is really nice that the school is basically across the street and we don't have to fight the driving traffic to get them to school. Right now BJ is off work so he is able to take K and pick the kids up so I can get some work in.  It is working well and I expect it will work well until he goes back to work on 10/31 and we have to figure out another plan so I can get my hours in and the kids can be taken care of. We have a couple of ideas as to how we will make it work.

A couple of things I want to remember about the kids' first week:

H loves school and is quick to do her homework as soon as she gets home.  We are working on her not being so independent.  It is okay to do things yourself but she needs to learn to let me look at all her stuff so we know we aren't missing anything.  I had asked her about spelling words earlier in the week and she told me she knew them.  Last night when I quizzed her on them, she didn't know them and hadn't even studied them.  No bueno.  So we studied them and I quizzed her until she knew all 16 words. Last night I also looked over her math homework and we had to talk about it to make sure she understood.  I think she rushes through it so it is done but isn't necessarily worried if they are right or not.  We are working on it and she is very smart, so I'm sure she'll get there if she'll let me help her and not try to do it all on her own.

D is so smart.  My proud mommy moment of the week is that he can spell constellation.  I think that it is a crazy 1st grade spelling word, but he conquered it.  He says he doesn't like school, but I can't figure out why because he is so smart.  Yes, we have to work at it a little, but his memory is very good.  Today is his first spelling test, so I hope he does well.  His first response to anything, whether he likes it or not is whining.  Hopefully, he won't get all worked up when the teacher tells him it is time for his spelling test. I have already seen improvements in this since he knows whining isn't going to change the fact he still has to do his homework and still has to brush his teeth, etc. I love when he cuddles up next to me during our Bible reading and prayer time each night.  We found out that he prefers button up shirts to t-shirts so I went and bought him quite a few.  I like little boys in polos or button ups, so I am happy with his choice.

K is my sweetheart and my baby.  She loves to be held and hugged.  She doesn't hug BJ as much, but she sure does know how to turn on the charm when she wants something. They learn so young. She has this funny thing she does where she stomps her foot and makes a serious staring face and then cracks up laughing.  She is silly.  She loves the kids praise and worship DVD we have and will watch it over and over if you'll let her.  She dances around the living room, doing the movements with the kids on the DVD.  When BJ gives me a hug or kiss, she tries to wiggle her way in between us to stop him.  She says it is gross. She freely gives out hugs and kisses, so there is a little of a disconnect.

We are all tired from our first week at school and are ready to be able to sleep in as late as we want tomorrow.  BJ says that means they'll all be up earlier than usual tomorrow.  I wouldn't be surprised.

Life isn't perfect, but overall things are going really smoothly and we are really excited to be at this place in our lives.  Sunday we are having an all church singing at the 2pm service and my kids are planning on singing.  We will see how that goes.  D keeps asking me if Daddy is singing with him and I keep saying yes. My plan to get BJ singing is working, maybe.  

Behind

So I realized Sunday that my biggest struggle with this adoption is the fact that my kids don't know God.  If I were to have biological children, they would be raised in church and would know nothing but serving God. Some people may see that as a disadvantage, but I am very glad that is how I was raised. I love God so much because I was taught to love and serve God from an early age.  It has been my life and I am grateful!! So it bothers me that my kids are starting behind other kids their age who have been raised in church.  I have been doing a lot of praying about this and am trying to not let the devil in with his fear and lies and to just trust God in this.  But if I'm going to be honest, it is hard.  I'd guess every parent who wants to raise their kids to love God and serve him have this struggle sometimes, but it is intensified for me in that I am 7,6, and 4 years behind in this.  And I don't like being behind. 

Yesterday in my personal devotion time, God spoke very clearly to me through this verse.

"Do not be afraid...For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground. I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring and my blessing on your descendents." Isaiah 44:2-3

In my Bible I wrote, "God, you will provide your Spirit and presence for my kids who have not been taught to love you, yet."  YET. I love that word. It carries with it a sense of hope of something on the horizon.  So, yes, we're starting behind, but God is faithful to keep his word and he will not overlook my kids or hold their past against them, but will come to them, will pour out his Spirit, his love on them.  Because just like anyone else, they need him. And He loves them more than I could ever understand.

Moving In

I got a call on Friday from Erisha, the kids worker. She told me that she had talked to the foster mom and had told her she could start packing some of the kids things so we should expect to bring somethings home with us.  At first it was a bit overwhelming because it meant this was really happening. Then, I decided it would be a good idea to get some stuff before the kids come so I could get somethings organized and know more what I needed as far as storage and such. However, I did not expect this...

There was a huge box of clothes for each kid, three boxes of toys and other stuff and a trash bag of pillows.  Basically we ended up with almost everything they have except for a week worth of clothes, bikes, and a few toys.  So today I have been going through stuff, setting aside some items that are too small or stained for the kids to go through (because I don't want to throw away something from their past that means something to them). I am at a standstill as I have run out of hangers.  I have the girls stuff about half way gone through.  

Tomorrow after work it'll be a trip to get some hangers, storage bins, and a bookshelf maybe to put in the closet. And I have got to at least figure out what I am doing about a dresser for D.  That's a pretty big dilemma that I can't seem to solve at the moment.  I am pretty sure every night this week will be filled with running here and there to get things closer to ready for the kids.  It doesn't have to be perfect, but what I can get done now, I don't have to try and do with three kids in tow.  Dondi, one of my coworkers, said it would be nice to get a week without her kids to go through her boys' rooms, so I am definitely taking advantage of the time before the chaos begins.

And now for the big news...placement is scheduled for Friday!  The kids and their workers will be flying in Friday morning for us to sign some paperwork and make this official.  We are so excited!!  The adoption won't be final for 6 months, but effective after we sign the paperwork, the kids are essentially ours. Wow!

I keep getting asked if I'm ready and I don't really know how to answer that.  How can you be ready for everything you know nothing about?  People are trying to reassure us and honestly, I am ready to an extent. But you can never be fully prepared for something like this.  We are excited and we know the kids are too.

The timing could not be more perfect.  Because God knows what he is doing!  Our 10/15 deadline will be completed before I move to part time and the 11/15 deadline work for me is quite manageable at this point.  

5 days and counting.

K - the Kutie

(It's my blog and I can spell cutie with a K if I want to.  Besides I couldn't find an alliteration with the letter K that fit, so it is what it is.)

K is my baby and she is at a really fun age. The best word to describe her, besides cute, would be moody.  One moment she is happy and laughing and the next she is crying.  We are trying to teach her to ask us to do things and not demand it of us, but that is a work in progress.  I'm sure since she is so cute, she has learned most people will respond to her cuteness and demands.  Well not this mommy.

She is the most ticklish little girl I have ever met.  Seriously, you can't even help her button her pants without her laughing.  So fun! Everything tickles her.  She has this normal laugh, and then what I'd like to call her evil laugh.  It isn't really evil, it is just deeper and comes from lower in her gut.  Cracks me up!!  She is not shy to tell you what she wants, which is generally a good thing.  Much better than when you have to guess in my opinion. She will copy whatever you do and thinks it is so funny.

K loves to be held and hugged. She is such a snuggle bug and I love it.  Right now she prefers me to BJ most of the time but has her moments when she wants him too.  It'll just a take a little time I think.

She likes to sing and when playing by herself will sing to herself.  I never can quite understand what she is singing, but she has a pretty little voice.

She calls BJ, DJ most of the time. She has the most southern accent of any of the kids.  I think it is because she is almost always smiling when she talks. She will not be overlooked and her voice gets louder each time she has to repeat herself.

She can be shy if she doesn't know you and is probably the most clingy to me, but I think that is because of her age.

She loves her baby dolls and is very motherly to them. She is good with sharing with her siblings.

She loves to wear my "flop flops" and I love the fact she calls them "flop flops." So cute!!

I love my baby girl so much and can't wait to watch her grow up and learn to love God!

D - The Daring

I have much to update about, but thought I'd finish my blogs about each of the children before getting to all of that.

D is my middle child and all boy! He turned 6 in June and is in the first grade. 

He was enamored with BJ's cap on the first visit, so when he came to visit us here, he found the smallest cap he could (BJ has quite a collection) and we let him wear it home with him.  I am pretty sure he loves it as he has been wearing it whenever we've seen him since then.  He is a good eater and really isn't picky at all. I remember the first weekend, the foster dad told us that when D hugs you, you can feel it.  He is a very loving child and full of energy.  I'm pretty sure both of us have been almost tackled to the floor upon arrival at their house to pick them up. He pretty much runs outside and to the car whenever we come.

He is a skinny little guy as his jeans that are long enough, basically fall off of him. He does this funny thing where he makes his face turn red, but every time, he flexes the muscles in his arm.  It makes me die laughing.  He bought a fake mustache out of one of the machines at Cicis and wore it basically all weekend.  So funny!  He bought one for BJ too so I expect he'll make BJ wear his next time we see them.

He wants to do whatever everyone else is doing and wants desperately to fit in.  I talked to the girls about getting their toenails painted and he chimed in that he wanted to also, and didn't even care if they were pink. He informed me was manly enough for pink.

He keeps an eye on all of us to make sure we are being fair and he will let you know if he thinks he is getting the short end of the stick.

He loves money and found 8 pennies over the weekend which he stores safely in his pocket.

While at the children's museum, there was a station where the kids could paint their own faces.  He wanted us to paint him like spiderman, but I didn't even know where to begin with that, so he took it upon himself.  By the time he was done, he was a tiger, with yellow/orange skin, black stripes and a blue nose.  And he was very proud.

He loves to make things with paper and is always asking if we have any.  He folds it all sorts of ways and makes things for us.  I have to admit that besides his paper airplanes, he has to tell me what he has made.  I haven't developed the ability to tell what kids are making yet.

He is very giving and is always thinking of others. He always wants to make something for his foster brother or someone else he knows.

I love my little man and am excited to learn more about him and see how God will use him in the future.

Meet H - The Firstborn

I am starting a little mini series on my blog where I share things I've learned about each of our children in the three short visits we have had with them. I know that soon, these stories will be overlooked by new adventures and new struggles, so I am recording them because I don't want to forget a thing. H is our 7 year old daughter and she is full of life. From the moment we met her, she was the most engaged and welcoming. She almost immediately starting calling us Mommy and Daddy. Their therapist had told them about us and tried to prepare them for the transition to their forever family. She loves to talk and is very curious about everything. She is not afraid to speak her mind or tell you what she thinks she "needs" and you should buy her. She will do anything to make you happy and is a big helper, volunteering assistance all the time. In a lot of ways, she is like me. I guess as much as any first born is like another. Always wants to be in control, taking care of everyone else, the leader. Her favorite colors are baby blue, purple, red and hot pink and she informed me that they change all the time. She asks us to turn the music up in the car and sings with the radio, pretending like she knows the words when you can tell she really doesn't. She "needs" a jewelry box and some jewelry to wear just like me. And this 7 year old wants ruffled socks. I bought some for her sister, but not her. I thought she may think it was too girly, but obviously I didn't know her very well when I opted for the plain white socks. But I definitely need to find some for her before she visits again. She attempted to wear her sister's socks that were way too small, just because they had ruffles. I wouldn't let that fly. Everything is a competition with her. Including getting ready for bed and getting her seatbelt buckled. And school. She is very proud of her straight A's. I secretly think this is why she is the one of our children that enjoyed fishing longer than the others. She was determined to catch more fish than anyone else. (FYI -They were fishing at a stocked pond, but very few people actually caught anything.) On the way home from the park, H and K rode with BJ and D rode with me. According to BJ, at some point the girls decided they should race us home and were chanting "Go, BJ, Go!" When she saw there was an offering contest in Children's Church between the boys and girls, she came and found me so she could get her little coin purse out of the car and help the girls beat the boys, which they did. (We may need to start working on it being okay to make mistakes and be a good sport whether you win or not. I remember being devastated every time I wasn't perfect growing up. This sounds like payback. God has a funny sense of humor sometimes.) She loves to color and is actually quite good at it. We still have chalk drawings on our front sidewalk to prove it. She finished coloring her paper before Sunday School even started. Ms. Kim said she was a big helper, very eager to please. While we were watching a movie she crawled up and laid on the couch next to BJ with her head in his lap. Such a sweet girl! She is taller than the other girls at church her age (but they are small for their age). She may be our basketball or volleyball player. We'll have to wait and see. It's gonna be interesting to be looking up at my teenage daughter, but I'm sure we'll manage. It's been great getting to know her. I have a feeling it's going to be a lot like raising myself. Ha! I should start praying now!!

Blessed and Grateful

The kids went home earlier today and I miss them already. My house has little remnants of the kids all over. From the way the girls purposefully placed their stuffed animals on their bed to D's paper airplane he left on the couch. Yep, we are definitely a family with three kids. I have been pretty hesitant to say anything definitively, since they aren't placed with us yet, and I am afraid to be disappointed, again. But today I was reminded to wear my blessings well and give God credit instead of downplaying what God gives us. So here it goes. God is just so good. I prayed and prayed and cried a lot over the past few years. I didn't know what God was doing, but I knew there had to be a reason we weren't able to conceive. It was heartbreaking month after month when you have done all you can and you have absolutely no control. We loved on our friends kids and tried to stay distracted in the mean time, but in my heart there was an empty place waiting to be filled. And I tried to just keep going day after day, but there were moments I felt like I was being punished or wasn't good enough to have kids. Of course everyone around me showed up pregnant unexpectedly and I would be hurt and angry again every time I found out. I felt like God had overlooked me and I didn't understand why. But now I know. It was all a part of the journey. God has been preparing the kids for us and us for the kids this entire time. They are the kids God knew we would have since the creation of time. We believe children are a gift from the Lord and we will soon be receiving our gift with open arms. All those tears, God saw and he answered. There was not a single night that I would cry myself to sleep that God didn't see. He was working behind the scene for our good, according to His plan, and I am so grateful and blessed! Thank you, God, for your goodness to us! Let me never be so busy that I forget to give you credit for the amazing things you have done for us!! You are awesome!!