Blessed and Grateful

The kids went home earlier today and I miss them already. My house has little remnants of the kids all over. From the way the girls purposefully placed their stuffed animals on their bed to D's paper airplane he left on the couch. Yep, we are definitely a family with three kids. I have been pretty hesitant to say anything definitively, since they aren't placed with us yet, and I am afraid to be disappointed, again. But today I was reminded to wear my blessings well and give God credit instead of downplaying what God gives us. So here it goes. God is just so good. I prayed and prayed and cried a lot over the past few years. I didn't know what God was doing, but I knew there had to be a reason we weren't able to conceive. It was heartbreaking month after month when you have done all you can and you have absolutely no control. We loved on our friends kids and tried to stay distracted in the mean time, but in my heart there was an empty place waiting to be filled. And I tried to just keep going day after day, but there were moments I felt like I was being punished or wasn't good enough to have kids. Of course everyone around me showed up pregnant unexpectedly and I would be hurt and angry again every time I found out. I felt like God had overlooked me and I didn't understand why. But now I know. It was all a part of the journey. God has been preparing the kids for us and us for the kids this entire time. They are the kids God knew we would have since the creation of time. We believe children are a gift from the Lord and we will soon be receiving our gift with open arms. All those tears, God saw and he answered. There was not a single night that I would cry myself to sleep that God didn't see. He was working behind the scene for our good, according to His plan, and I am so grateful and blessed! Thank you, God, for your goodness to us! Let me never be so busy that I forget to give you credit for the amazing things you have done for us!! You are awesome!!