Sarah

For some reason I've been thinking about my struggles with infertility lately. If you've talked to me at all, after we were able to conceive and give birth to Seth, I determined that we were unable to conceive initially because it just wasn't God's time for us.

And if that is true, and I believe that it is, it leads me to wonder what the purpose of all the fertility treatments and such. I've looked back through the blog to see what all was documented here. I have wondered if I was pulling a Sarah. If in pursuing fertility treatments I was trying to rush God along or do things my way because I was too impatient to wait.

We did 3-4 monitored cycles with multiple medicines including a shot to induce ovulation, and 2-3 internal sonograms per month. I also had an HSG which is the test they do to determine if there is any blockage in your fallopian tubes by injecting dye into you and watching on a machine to see how the dye flows. (This was the most painful part of the entire process. I wouldn't wish it on anyone). I also had a diagnostic laparoscopy to make sure there weren't any other issues.  All of that led to nothing except more expenses on our part. So was it worth it? Was I doing what God wanted us to do or was I just being impatient?

According to my blog, at the time I thought I was doing the right thing. I don't really know except that those experiences gave me a better understanding of others going through fertility treatments. Even though there ended up being no benefit to those costs or expenses, maybe it was meant to be a part of our story.

I've learned that even if I was in error to try those things, God can and does use it for his glory if we let him. And he forgives us when we mess up and allows us to move forward with him by our side.