The Attack

I was warned this was coming. That the devil would try and discourage me and attack me in the coming days/years.

When I got the phone call today from one of my kids who is again having a bad day and making bad choices, I first was frustrated. I try and try and they still ultimately have to decide to do the right thing. It's hard as a parent.The letting go part. The letting them take responsibility and fall part.

And God very quietly reminded me the attack is coming. And how better for the devil to attack me, then to hit me where I am weak. With my kids. Where I struggle the most. I can't tell you the number of times I've told others to watch their weak spots because that is where the devil will come. Looking for a foothold, looking for a way to distract and discourage. So I should have anticipated that the attack would involve my kids.

But this time, although I know I am weak, I also know He is strong. I know that He can handle them and give me wisdom to help them as best as I can, and to not take it personally when they disappoint me. My standards are high for myself as a parent, and as much as I don't vocalize most of those standards for my kids to them, my expectations for them are huge, probably almost impossible. I have had to come to terms with my expectations time and again and learn to let it go into the most capable hands in the world, the Father that loves them more than I do. And even though it may not all turn out as my fairytale world would, it will still be good and I'm okay with that.

So I cranked up my worship music, closed my door and found my safe place, my happy place, in my Father's arms to wait and rest until the storm passes over.

I will not be defeated. Because God can't lose and I choose to let him fight this one.