Full Circle

I have never really been one to look back at previous blogs and reflect, but just for the fun of it, I looked back at my last blog of 2010 just to see what I was thinking and what was going on.  In the end of that blog, which was quite random if I do say so myself, I reference a scripture that has been my verse over the past years as we have struggled with infertility and adoption.  

"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17 NIV

I usually study out of and speak out of the NIV, but another version has really grabbed my heart today. It reads as follows:

"The LORD your God is with you.   He is like a powerful soldier.   He will save you. He will show how much he loves you and how happy he is with you. He will laugh and be happy about you." Zephaniah 3:17 - ERV (Easy to Read Version)

A year ago, our lives were full of hopes but no concrete answers.  And I needed to be reminded that God loved me because sometimes I felt like I had somehow failed him and was being punished accordingly.  We felt like we were following where God was leading and yet, it seemed like we were getting no where. So I would go to this verse and read it again and again, trying to convince myself he was indeed proud of me and was working on our behalf. Trusting that he would continue to hold us during the time when we were so unsure as to what tomorrow held.

But now, only one year later, I can read this verse and smile.  Knowing God knew what he was doing and He was indeed strong enough to take care of us and our situation and he did provide for us. He was working out all the details and now I know that he loves us so much and is happy with us and the sacrifices we have made and are making to raise these kids to love him and serve him.  I was not foolish to believe God was leading us here and setting up the rest of our lives according to his perfect will for us.

So tonight, as we look forward to a new year and the future, we can stand assured knowing that God will be with us and will do what he promised and will bring us through the struggles in the waiting and into the fulfillment of his promises in our lives.

I expect 2012 to bring with it a new set of struggles and tests, but I am prepared to stand on God's unchanging word and live on my knees before my God who loves me and see what he has in store for us in the coming year.