The kids' therapist comes to our house every Thursday for their weekly sessions. For the most part I just let her do her job and she talks to each kid privately and is working them through some issues. I don't usually pry and trust that the therapist will tell us what we need to know and what we should help the kids with.
Tonight Mrs. T told me that the kids weren't at all prepared for adoption really and she feels like she needs to go back and start at the beginning. As we are well aware, the kids don't think their parents did anything wrong and they blame the judge and police officers for taking them away. Their perceptions are warped and their anger misplaced. Until they can get a more true understanding of the process and what actually did happen, they will never be able to move past the anger. She shared that at this point, most kids are angry at their parents and realize they did bad things to them and were unfit parents and are ready to leave them forever. But my kids are still holding on to the hope they will get to go back some day. I feel so bad for them that they weren't prepared for this and that we are not anywhere near where they should be in dealing with the past. But once again I see God's hand at work because now we will be the ones to help them through this. I am thankful for that because I think we will be able to have a special connection to our kids since we will be the ones holding their hands through this all and praying all along the way.
Mrs. T also said that she feels like their foster parents were more like foster grandparents. Just like grandparents love their grandchildren and it is not their job to discipline and move the kids forward, she feels that they nurtured our kids, but weren't really proactive in getting them the help they needed and working with them to move onto their future adoption.
With all that said, our kids really are doing well (or I think so) in adjusting to their new normal. Yes they have their moments and throw tantrums as times, threatening to go back and find their birth parents, but I really feel like they are connecting to us and are learning to respect and love us as their forever parents.
I love their therapist and trust her completely to do what she feels my kids need. She has given me a better understanding of what we need to be helping them with and praying them through as we move forward in the days ahead. And we are ready to help them move forward and will be praying for God to help them through this process of healing.
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