Today's church service was really good. I was having a good day generally, even though BJ and I did have a ton on our plates. I didn't even have a melt down (which happens often when I am last minute trying to get things done). I was enjoying being in God's presence and tried to not worry too much about the kids. As most of you know, I play the piano at church and usually on Sunday mornings, I don't have to try to help lead worship and parent from the stage at the same time because the kids are in children's church. Well, today, the one thing that I didn't remember was that there was no children's church because it was the last Sunday of the month. So I wasn't prepared to handle all of that emotionally. It really drains me when I am trying to follow God's leading and need to pay attention to the kids and make sure they are worshiping as they should (which is a big deal to me) and not being distracting to others around them trying to worship. But today I chose to trust God that they would make good choices and do what they know we expect of them. And they did great! With each passing song, I felt like I could breathe a little more and just relax and really be able to worship.
And then God used someone to speak to me. Honestly, I was not expecting that at all. I don't know how you are, but sometimes when I'm having a rough day I kind of think God will send someone to me, but when things are going well I guess I just don't even think about it. But when she laid her hands on me, I KNEW it was God. I don't think I've felt God's presence like that in a long time. And the words coming out of her mouth were confirmation after confirmation of that things I am going through right now. There were parts that were very forward looking and a kind of preparation of things to come and what God is taking me to in the future weeks and months. I am embarking on a new twist in this Christian journey (not that the path is ever really straight) and I am a little apprehensive about where God is taking me. Not because God ever takes me somewhere bad, but I have this stirring in my Spirit that things are going to be different. Different is okay, but many days I just want to get there already. While I draw closer to God and wait for the day to come, there is so much time for the devil to try and trip me up and he has definitely been trying. Most of the time I am smarter than his schemes as I've learned a lot about how to stand in my Christian life, but other days I am tired and I am week and he wins, if even just a little bit.
And I am once again reminded that God knows what he's doing and he will provide the strength I need to be who he has called me to be and he will continue to provide all that I need in the days ahead. Because He is God and this calling is his and it is his job to prepare me for what is ahead. So I choose to trust and not fear, lean more on him than myself, and keep walking down the road, one day, one step at a time.
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