Today BJ was supposed to work, but he called in sick after being up last
night sick. So he was here in body but he wasn't really here to help
out. And it was hard. My mom came over for a few hours so I could run
some errands and BJ could sleep or do whatever he needed to without
thinking about the kids. I don't know how single mom's do it.
Seriously. The older three can basically take care of themselves, but
they still need or want someone to help them with things from time to
time. And as things go, they wanted my help at the exact moment Seth
would be crying or fussy. So I was trying to take care of/help multiple
kids at the same time. And honestly, I just wanted to be lazy and sleep
today. I did sleep in until 8:30, kinda, in between getting up with Seth
and trying to appease him.
Friday night BJ and I are going to a Mavericks game. This will be the first time I've left him that will require someone else to feed him while I'm gone. Although even talking about it makes me tear up, I am hoping to be busy and not think about it while we are gone. He'll be in good hands, but I hate the thought of him crying and no one being able to calm him down but me. Having a baby really does change your perspective on things and the hormones swings sure don't help.
It is going to be really hard for me to go back to work. Not because I don't trust anyone else, but because he has basically been at my side for the past 5 weeks (will be almost 8 weeks by then) and I feel like its my job to take care of him. I know him better than anyone else and I am the one that has been able to meet his needs so far. I'm sure things will be fine once I get my new routine of pumping at work and all of that down. I am going back to a busy time at work, so hopefully the busyness will keep me preoccupied. I just am trying to treasure these last few weeks with my baby before I go back to work.
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