In Over My Head Part 3

Let me start with a bit of an explanation. I'm a worshiper. It's what I love, its who I am. So I am constantly listening for new or new to me songs that resonate with my current spiritual state or struggle or whose words share what I'm feeling. I would dare to say that besides adoption, the second highest source of my blog material is songs, and how they speak to me. I know that songs are just another person's words put to music and aren't necessarily theologically sound or Biblically true, so I don't see them as a standard for living, but rather an expression that I may or may not agree with. There are plenty of worship songs I don't love or agree with. I'm pretty rigid and picky that way.

Ok, so back to the song of the week, In Over My Head

Whether I sink, whether I swim, it makes no difference when I am beautifully in over my head.

In life, we make decisions on what to commit to and what to steer clear from, often times based on our prediction of the outcome it will bring or the benefit we can receive in return for our commitment. But this line speaks to me of full commitment to God and his plans because we trust him and not based on how it feels to us or what we hope to gain.

Feelings are deceiving. I often feel like I'm sinking, even when I know I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. And yes, honestly it deters me sometimes from going all in. Cause no one wants to feel like they have no control, like they are drowning with no hope of rescue. We obey God because we choose to please him and not because it always feels good. And when we are fully committed, the devil will rear his ugly head to try and stop you.

I'm really struggling as a parent with my 4 year old, Seth. And Sundays are the worst. After I've been ministering in worship and teaching, I'm convinced his bad attitude and stubbornness is one of the ways I am being tested to be discouraged and give up. It makes for a bad Sunday evening most weeks. But my obedience is not about me at all!

But whether it feels good or not, I have to give up control, of myself, of my kids (in some ways, I'm not talking about lack of discipline), give up my way and choose to be a follower, fully surrendered to his plan. Give up my rights and choose to be a servant, doing and being for the advancement of his kingdom.

And he will sustain me. He will strengthen me. He will be my portion and all that I need. True satisfaction is only found at the place of total surrender to God. Sink or swim!