Processing My Thoughts

I have quite a few random thoughts tonight, so join in me as I process through blogging.

Today God rebuked me for giving up. There are certain things I had been praying for consistently for about 5 years and in the past few months I had kind of forgotten about those things. I guess inside I had prayed fervently for what felt like a long time, but in the end, it just felt like God was going to do what he wanted to and there were other people that could either obey God or not and I really didn't see God ever moving in certain situations. I guess you could say I gave up. And today God showed me that he is still working in that situation and I need to keep praying. 

In the past couple of weeks, our church has started a women's prayer meeting on Thursday nights at 7:30.  I really wish I could go, but I just can't right now.  (So Kim, if you are reading this, and I doubt you are, I'm really sorry I can't support you in this right now. I hope you understand.) I feel that way about a lot of things in life right now. I feel like I am stuck in mom mode.  It's okay. I know this is just a part of life right now, but it doesn't make me feel less guilty about not being able to support things I want to. I also feel the same way as I have to leave during every service as soon as worship is over (or sometimes before) to go and feed Seth.  And inevitably, while I am gone, God speaks or moves in amazing ways and I feel like I missed it. When I get back I ask BJ what happened or what God said and he can't seem to fill me in. I don't like to miss things. I know God understands where I am right now, but I really hate being the odd man out.  Case in point, I didn't even know there was women's prayer and really don't know when it even started, but just that it was on the calendar for May. Yeah, I miss a lot.  And the devil is well aware that this bothers me and so when I let him, he beats me over the head with it.  That isn't often, but I have my moments, like we all do.

For Easter, we got the kids each a new devotional book so they could do their own Bible Time and we could discuss.  They seem to really love it.  I tend to write encouraging notes in books I give my kids, especially when it has to do with my desire for them to love Jesus.  So in Daniel's I wrote something about praying that he becomes a man of God and loves Jesus more every day.  Last week he told me that every day at the beginning or end of his Bible Time, he reads that note. He says he wants to be a man of God and he is really trying to listen when God speaks to him and to make Godly decisions. He also said he wants to teach children's church some day. He's started (on a very small scale) writing out some Bible stories (to be acted out or for puppets I believe) that he can use to "teach other kids about Jesus." I love it! Let me take this moment to thank God for Tristin. He's  a little boy at our church who is Daniel's age and who really loves God and has a call on his life. He has taught Daniel that loving Jesus isn't a sissy thing. I am not discounting the great example B.J. is for Daniel, but I have prayed that God would send someone else who Daniel can relate to on a different level than a parent to a child who can re-enforce what is being taught and lived out at home and for Daniel, right now, that's Tristin.  His life shows Daniel that serving God is a good thing.  I am one proud mom, and Kim (Tristin's mom) should be too.  The world needs more boys and men who will serve God and not leave that to the women and moms of the house.

While we are bragging on Daniel (it must just be his night), he got 5 good behavior marks in a row at school last week and earned himself a Slushy. We are so proud of you. I knew you could do it! It comes so much easier for the girls, so it made it more special for Daniel that the girls each had one off day this last week and he was the only one who earned this reward. (Although Daniel would have gladly given his up so the girls could have one. He is such a sweet selfless guy. Always thinking about others.)

I had a great, but busy weekend and am trusting God for another great week. For he who promised is faithful...