Today I am thankful for second chances. We all make mistakes and there is a such thing as an accident (although I am having trouble convincing my kids of that since they think if anything is done to their stuff or them it must be on purpose). I am glad that God gives second chances. Every second is a second chance for starting over. Yeah, we are gonna mess things up, but by God's grace we can be forgiven (by God and whomever we have hurt) and get up and try again. Trying again means we have to admit when we mess things up (which can be hard to do for some of us, me included), ask for forgiveness and be willing to get back up on that bike and ride it again, knowing full well that you will mess it up again someday, and that is okay. One of my friends from church has a saying at her job that everyday is a Monday. A new chance. A fresh day to make different choices and get different outcomes. A new day full of new mercies from the Lord and new opportunities to be a blessing. So whatever happened a minute ago is over and I now have a second chance to do things differently.
Tonight we (well BJ was in the room but not really talking) had a talk with H. We have been having some issues with her being disrespectful to us. I know that I mess things up sometimes, but it has not seemed to make a difference if I am stern and loud or soft and compassionate. I have been getting the same back talk, the same disrespect. Tonight I asked her what we needed to do differently to be able to help her. She is only 7 so she really didn't know how to answer that. But she opened up and began to share about being sad and missing her family and not really understanding why she couldn't live with them and how when she gets older she wants to visit them. It so easy to forget that she isn't just a normal kid, but a kid with a lot of emotional baggage that she doesn't know how to sort through. Seeing her that way helped me to be more compassionate toward her. We talked to her about how we picked her and her siblings and prayed that God would let us be their parents if it was his will. Her face lit up when she realized that we picked them out of a bunch of kids and wanted to be the best parents we can for them. We've had the discussion about all we had to do to be able to adopt them before, but just like I forget where they are coming from, she had forgotten what we've been through to get us to this place where we are all together as a family. So we made a pact with each other that we are gonna try and do things differently. She knows we love her and she really loves us but sometimes neither one of us do a very good job showing it. So we've agreed to have a new start. From now on, when we are frustrated with each other or angry or sad, we've decided that we just need to give each other a hug until we calm down and are able to better deal with the situation. I really hope that we both keep up our ends of the deal and are able to bond more with her and give each other a little more grace while we are in this time of transition. I love our talks because they usually end with H giving me a big long hug and saying "I want to hug you forever." Being a mom is not easy, but some days, it is just so rewarding!
Thank you God for second chances with my kids!
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