Giving Thanks - Day #7

I am thankful for 8 o'clock bedtime.  It is the source of my sanity.  Even if it turns into 8:30 or 9.  Me time. Me and B.J. time. No crying or whining. No "mom" this or "mom" that.  Don't get me wrong. I love my kids. But I am very thankful for kids who go to bed at 8 and sleep all night most of the time.  I am thankful that I still get my wind down time at the end of a busy day.  To just sit and be or watch TV, or chill, or update my blog without interruption from little people.

Going along with that, I'm generally thankful for bed time.  When the kids are winding down (mostly) and are the most loving and affectionate usually. One of my favorite things to do between showers and bed time is make people sandwiches.  I am usually on the bottom with 1 to 3 kids laying on top of me and I squeeze them tight thus creating a K or H or D sandwich (depending on which kid managed to get in the middle).  They love this too (the girls probably more than D).  It's moments like this that I feel the most loved and feel like they are really bonding with us.  It is hard sometimes because they don't know us anymore than we know them, and we are all going through an adjustment time. Also at bed time we read our picture Bible together and each person prays.  Sometimes their prayers can be really telling and sometimes they are so over it and say the minimum required prayer of "Dear God, Thank you, I love you, Amen."  D is really trying to be a good listener and prays every night that God will help him to listen better and not talk back. He also prays that we will get good rest and sleep well.  I have seen so much improvement in him in the past three weeks. He is probably my easiest child right now.  I didn't think I would say that this soon.  They told us he would be the hardest to adjust, but he seems to be doing really well. He is recognizing which of his behaviors are not allowed and he is making good choices to curve some of his behavior. The girls are having a little harder time connecting the dots.  I think I'm going to try and let BJ take care of H.  I have said before that we are so much alike.  Each kid is so different, but if I were to guess, I'd say I am the hardest on her.  I think I expect too much out of her and I really have to work on remembering she is only 7 and she has been through a lot and is in an adjustment period too. 

Parenting is so hard, but we are getting in a routine, kind of.  Next week I go back to working full time, so our permanent schedule will be able to be established at that point, just before all the holidays hit and throw everyone off of their normal schedule.  There are days when I just want to give up, and quite honestly this past weekend was like that.  Not because of the kids so much as because of me. (I refuse to take all the credit though since they weren't exactly angels either.) I think I expect too much out of myself as a parent.  I had a someone recently tell me to cut myself some slack. New parents of infants don't get everything right and they struggle with routines and lack of sleep and learning their children. Often times they spend all day in sweats and never get around to daily things such as showers.  She said I should think of myself just like that and shouldn't expect myself to make all the right decisions and do everything perfectly right off the bat.  It takes practice and time and making a lot of mistakes.  I am trying to chill and not be disappointed with myself every time I get upset with the kids, and by God's grace and with a lot of prayer I'll keep taking steps in the right direction and about the time I think I have it figured out, I'll end up pregnant. God does have a sense of humor and a way of keeping us in our place. Ha!